英语一词多义笑话50篇
1.You are just a fool. I can’t bear you. -- But your mother can.（homonymy）
2.（In a restaurant） --Waiter, the eggs must have gone bad. --Sorry, I only laid the table.（polysemy） 3.Farmer: If you want to spend the night here, you'll have to make your own bed. Traveling salesman: That's perfectly all right. Farmer: Here's a hammer and saw. Good night.（polysemy） 4.We can’t get down from elephants. We can only get down from ducks（homonymy）
12.A rich man went to his lawyer and said “I would like to make a will but I don't know exactly how to go about it.”The lawyer says “Don’t worry. Leave it all to me.”The man looks somewhat upset...“Well I knew you were going to take the biggest slice – but I'd like to leave a little to my children too!”（polysemy） 13.A down-and-out musician was playing the violin in the middle of a big shopping mall. He had his violin case open so that passersby could drop in donations. Then a burly security guard marched over and asked him, "May I see your permit?" "I haven't got one," the musician confessed. "In that case you'll have to accompany me." "Splendid. What shall we sing?" （polysemy） 14.A huge college freshman decided to try out for the football team. "Can you tackle?" asked the coach. "Watch this," said the freshman, who proceeded to run smack in to a telephone pole and completely knocked out it over. "Wow," said the coach, "I'm impressed. Can you run?" "Of course I can run," said the freshman. He was off like a shot, and in just over 9 seconds ran a 100-yard dash. "Great," the coach said. "But can you pass a football?" The freshman hesitated for a second. "Well, sir," he said, "If I can swallow it, I can probably pass it."（polysemy）
19.I wrote a book about watch-making……everyone said it was about time（polysemy）
20. Teacher: George, can you give me lincoln's Gettysburg Address? George: No, but he used to live at the White House in Washing D.C. （polysemy） 21.Why was it so hot after the baseball game? ---- All the fans left （polysemy） 22.What happens to a flea when it becomes really angry? It gets hopping mad.
26.Athlete: I'm going to write an article on jogging. Editor: Fine. But don't use any run-on sentences.
27.Mary: why are you bringing a jump rope to school? Terry: I'm going to ask the principal if I can skip a grade.(synonymy)
15.A medical student entered a patient's room carrying a syringe. As he approached the patient's bed, he said, "Just a little prick with a needle." "I know who you are," the patient relied, "but what are you going to do?" （polysemy） 16.An erdly woman had two small terriers, one male, the other female. When the female terrier died, the male terrier was heartbroken, and he died the next day. She took the two carcasses to the taxidermist so that they could be preserved. The taxidermist asked, "Do you want them mounted?" She replied, "No, but could you have this paw in hers?" （polysemy） 17.A judge is addressing the husband in பைடு நூலகம் divorce case. "Mr Johnson, I have reviewed this case carefully and I have decided to give your wife $2,000 a month." The husband replies, "That's very generous of you, your honor, and, believe me, I'll try to help out a little myself now and then." （polysemy） 18.My mother and father are in the steel and iron business. What do they do?（polysemy）
5.Marriage is an institution where a man loses his bachelor’s degree and a woman gets her master's.（homonymy）
6.--If you want my daughter to marry you. You should at tell me one thing positive about you. --I am HIV positive.（polysemy） least
28.Madge: I've been asked to marry thousands of times. Mindy: Really? Who asked you? Madge: My mother and father.（polysemy） 29.What did the Atlantic Ocean say to the Pacific Ocean? Nothing, they just waved（polysemy）
7.Ugly woman: Don’t you think I’m beautiful? Photographe: The answer lies in the negative.（homonymy） 8.Your brain has two parts, the left part and the right part. The right part has nothing left, and the left part has nothing right. ——Did you hear about the guy whose whole left side was cut off? ——He's all right now（homonymy）
9.Tourists want to find someone to take pictures Tourists: Excuse me! Are you free? prostitute:Of course not. I'm not free. Tourists: why? prostitute:I'm 200 hundred RMB for one night, or 30 dollars for whole day（polysemy） 10.A young boy goes to social services and tells them he has nowhere to live. "What about your parents?" asks the social worker. "No, they beat me,"says the boy. "What about your grandparents?" says the social worker."No, they beat me even harder!" says the boy. "Well...where do you want to stay then?" replies the social worker. "Tottenham," says the boy. "They don't beat anyone."（polysemy） 11.A drunk guy approaches a cute girl in a singles bar. "Hi Babe, how about a date?" He says. "Don't waste your time. I never go out with a perfect stranger." "It seems we are both in luck. I'm far from perfect." （polysemy）