DIFFERENCES BETWEEN CHINESE MARRIAGECUSTOM AND WESTERN MARRIAGE CUSTOM中西方婚俗的差异1 IntroductionMarriage is formed in a long historical evolution of the marriage custom in a nation. It is the regularity of the activities that restrains people's awareness of marriage and marriage. Marriage custom’s binding does not depend on the law, and it cannot rely on science tests neither, but on the force of habit, traditional culture and national psychology. During the development of human history, the institution of marriage and family system has experienced different processes of development. Human have experienced group marriage, the dual system of marriage and individual marriage system (monogamy).2 Chinese Marriage CustomLike other folk, marriage custom has the same development and evolving process. In the early days of humanity, the human relationship in a very long period of time still carried the irregular relations like the animal world. There was no marriage at all, if suggest some, the only "arbitrary marriage."In China, marriage has gone through for a long time. As a most grand etiquette, it has always been a high degree of attention. To control the marriage, the family and the whole society, since the beginning of Zhou Dynasty, Chinese marriage should comply with six procedures, which is the so-called "six etiquettes." And Later in Tang and Ming Dynasty in China, marriage also complied with the "six etiquettes". As time goes by, although many wedding customs experienced various changes "Six etiquettes" as the basic pattern has not changed much. It is still essential and core in marriage custom.Marriage has changed much today, but in many places, there still remains tradition such as:A. ProposingB. Asking the NameC. Asking for FortuneD. Sen ding Betrothal Presents to the Girl’s FamilyE. Discussing the Date of MarriageF. Meeting the Bride3 Western Marriage Customditional marriage custom.In the middle ages children were married at a young age. Girls were as young as 12 when they got married, and boys as young as 14. The arrangement of the marriage was based on monetary worth. The family of the girl who was to be married gave a dowry, or donation, to the boy she was to marry. The dowry went with her when the marriage was held and stayed with the boy forever after the marriage. After the marriage was arranged, a wedding notice was posted onthe door of the church. The notice was put up to ensure that there were no grounds for prohibiting the marriage. The notice stated who was to be married, and if anyone knew any reasons that the two could not marry, they were to come forward with the reason. If the reason was a valid one the wedding would be prohibited.There were many reasons for prohibiting a marriage. One reason was consanguinity, if the two were too closely related. If the boy or the girl had taken a monastic or religious vow, the marriage was also prohibited. Sometimes widows or widowers took vows of celibacy on the death of their spouse, and later regretted doing so when they could not remarry. Other reasons which also prohibited marriage, but were not grounds for a divorce, were rape, adultery, and incest. A couple could not be married during a time of fasting, such as lent or advent. Nor could a couple be married by someone who had killed someone.In the middle ages there were few reasons the wedding could be dissolved. One reason was if either the man or woman were not of legal age, 12 for girls and 14 for boys. If the husband or wife had previously made a religious or monastic vow or were not Christian, the marriage would be dissolved. The last reason a marriage could end was if the woman, not the man, was incapable of sexual relations.A. ProposalB. Changing SurnamesC. Choosing the DayD. Holding the Wedding4 DifferencesIt is clear that Chinese marriage custom and western marriage custom differ from each other in many aspects.4.1 Different Marriage MediaMatchmaker and priest are different. In China, the marriage media is matchmaker, but in Western countries, the marriage media is priest.4.2 Freedom: Free or NotMarriage in China was arranged by family. “Behest of parents and proposals of matchmaker” decided everything about marriage. Usually the husband and the wife did not meet each other before getting married. The youths are not free when chose the lover in some places even today.Marriage marks the beginning of complete independence from the parents. According to the English law, no one was allowed to get married under the age of sixteen. Marriage between the age of sixteen and eighteen must have the parents’ consent. But when the girl was over eighteen, she was free to choose her love. One’s willing was superior to anything.4.3 Right: Equal or NotChinese men were superior to women in old people’s eyes. And women must comply with threeobedience and four virtues. But man could have a wife and many concubines. In north of China in some places, husband and wife are still unequal.The Bible says that husband should respect wife because both of them are blessed by God. And it emphasizes that the relations between husband and wife should include duty.4.4 Different Purposes of MarriageThe main purpose of getting marriage in China is to continue the male offspring. In western countries, they are influenced deeply by religion, especially the Christianity. They think that it is the God who has created marriage. So they do not stress the blood relationship. They can remedy the defect of non-child by adopting other children.5 Reasons for the Differences Above5.1 ReligionsAmong all the religion by which people seek to worship, Christianity is by far the most influential in the west. Every phase of man’s life is touched by this religion, so much so that it has become part and parcel of western culture. British dominant religious belief is Christian faith; or rather the U.K. is a country of Christianity.Bishop ordered marriage law as the fourth chapter in 1234. After issuing the law, it was carried on under the strong church control. In 1917, the marriage law referred: wedding ceremony should be held by priest or at least two witness; the willing should be true and not be forced.Most Chinese people believes Buddhism which advocates “why and because relationship”. In this point of view, sky is the reason, and earth is the result; parents are the reason, and sons or daughters are the result; husband is the reason, and wife is the result.5.2 Cultural OriginsTraditional Chinese traditional marriage custom was characterized by a distinctive patriarchal clan system. Marriage sometimes was a kind of ways to ally in political. The policy of cementing friendly relations through political marriages was a typical example in history. The traditional marriage custom was influenced deeply by Confucianism..Western marriage custom is influenced deeply by religion, however, which emphasizes both men and women are God’s sons and daughters, so they are equal unlike Chinese who pay more attentions to boys. Western people consider girls are also the fruit of love.5.3 Marriage ConceptsChinese people once thought that marriage was a kind of ways to increase families, offspring and protect and enhance family’s reputation and position. In western countries, marriage is the love’s home to return to. The aim of marria ge is to make the woman and the man live together all the life.5.4 GeographiesBritain is over one thousand kilometers from south to north. Its coastline runs about ten thousand kilometers, making it one of the countries with the longest coastlines in the world. In Britain no place is over one hundred and twenty kilometers from the sea. During the fight with the sea, British people feel the strong force of the nature that is difficult to control. Thus they believed God. They think God is omnipotent and they respect God very much.China’s geography is extremely varied and complex, including mountains, plateaus, plains, grasslands, basins, hills, islands, desert, glaciers, and frozen earth. Chinese people respect ancestors and western people respect God that lead the spirit world in China into ethics that take the main position and in western religion take the main position. Thus it causes marriage differences.6 ConclusionMarriage custom in both China and western countries has gone through for a long time. As a most grand thing in people’s life, it has always attracted a high degree of attention.As time goes by, although many wedding customs have experienced various changes, as the basic pattern, “six etiquettes” in China has not changed much. That’s to say proposing, asking the name, asking for fortune, sending betrothal presents to the girl’s family, discussing the date of marriage and meeting the bride are still essential and core in marriage custom.References:[1] 曾丽娟．.Western marriage custom.2006.[2] Wollstoncraft, Mary. A Vindication of the Right of Weman. 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