Unbelievable! It's been half an hour. 真是难以置信已过了半个小时If this was a cartoon, 如果这是卡通片you'd look like a ham right about now. 我看你都该跟火腿一个样了- There's the waitress. Hello, miss! - It's Phoebe! -侍者在那嗨小姐 -是菲比Okay, will that be all? 你们就点这些吗Wait. What are you doing here? 等等你来这儿干什么I was over there. Then you said, "Hello,miss." 我本来在那然后你叫 "嗨小姐"So I'm here. 所以我就过来了No, how come you're working here? 不你怎么会在这儿工作Because it's close to where I live, 因为这离我的住处很近and the aprons are cute. 而且围裙也很漂亮- Can we start over? - Okay, I'm gonna be over here. -可以重来吗 -好的我到那边去I don't know whether he's testing me...or just acting out,我叫不准他是在考验我还只是有样学样... but my monkey is out of control! 但我的猴子已经失控了He keeps erasing the messages on my machine. 他不断清除我答录机上的留言Supposedly by accident. 应该是个意外Oh, yeah, I've done that. 是啊我做过这种事And then, like three days in a row he got to the newspaper before I did,然后他连续三天赶在我看报纸前...and peed all over the crossword! 在猜字游戏上尿尿I've never done that. 这我没做过All right, now look at her and tell me 行了现在看着她你敢说she doesn’t look exactly like her sister. 她跟她姐姐长得不是一模一样吗I'm saying I see a difference. 我看到不同之处They're twins. 她们是双胞胎I don't care. Phoebe's Phoebe. Ursula's hot! 我不管菲比是菲比厄休拉很火辣You know the thing what we talk about each other about things?你知道我们彼此之间无话不说的吧-Let's not do that anymore. - All right. -别再这么干了 -好吧- Pheebs, guess who we saw today? - Oh, fun! Okay. - 菲比猜我们今天遇见谁 -真好玩- Pheebs, guess who we saw today? - Oh, fun! Okay. 电影演员- Liam Neeson. - No. -连恩·尼逊 -不是- Liam Neeson. - No. 记者- Morley Safer. - No. -莫利·塞弗 -不是- The lady who cuts my hair! - This could be a very long game. -我的女理发师 -这么玩下去没完没了- Your sister, Ursula. - Oh, really? -你姐姐厄休拉 -真的吗- She works at that place.... - Riff's. I know. -她在餐厅上班 -瑞菲餐厅我知道You do? She said you guys haven't talked in years. 你知道吗因为她说你们已多年不说话So, is she fat? 对她胖吗Not from where I was standing. 从我的角度看不会Where were you standing? 你从什么角度Pheebs, so you guys just don't get along? 菲比你们姐俩就是合不来吗It's mostly just dumb sister stuff. 这只是姐妹之间的事Everyone always thought of her as the pretty one. 大家都认为她比我漂亮She was the first to walk 她先学会走路even though I did it later that same day. 虽然我是在当天稍后学会的But to my parents, by then it was, "Yeah, what else is new?" 对我爸妈而言那就已经不新鲜了Pheebs, I'm sorry. I've gotta go. 菲比抱歉我得走了I've got Lamaze class. 我得去学习无痛分娩法And I've got earth science, but I'll catch you in gym? 我得去参加地球科学班健身房见了- ls this just gonna be you and Carol? - Susan will be there too. -就你和卡罗尔吗 -不苏珊也要去We've got dads, we've got lesbians. 这样就有了爸爸还有女同志The whole parenting team. 完美父母团lsn't that gonna be weird? 这样不是会很奇怪No. lt might have been at first... 不会的一开始或许会... but now I'm comfortable with the whole situation. 现在我已坦然面对这个事实- Ross, that's my jacket. - I know. -罗斯那是我的外套 -我知道Hi. We're the Rostens. I'm J. C. and he's Michael. 我们是罗斯特一家我是洁西他叫迈克尔And we're having a boy and a girl. 我怀的是龙凤胎Good for you. All right, next? 厉害下一位I'm Ross Geller. And that's my boy in there. 我叫罗斯她怀的是我的儿子And this is Carol Willick. And this is Susan Bunch. 她叫卡罗尔·威利克这位是苏珊·本驰Susan is Carol's.... 苏珊是卡罗尔的...Who's next? 下一位是谁Sorry, Susan is...? 抱歉苏珊是...Susan is Carol's, Carol's, Carol's, friend... 苏珊是卡罗尔的卡罗尔的朋友- Life partner - Like buddies. -生活伴侣 -伙伴那种- Like lovers. - You know how close women can get. -恋人那种 -你知道女人能有多亲近的- Susan and I live together. - Although I was married to her. -我俩住在一起 -但我俩曾经结过婚- Carol, not me. - It's a bit complicated. -他跟卡罗尔不是我 -有点复杂- But we're fine. - Absolutely! -但是我们能解决 -绝对的So, twins! That's like two births. 双胞胎啊那得生两次吧to you too, Helen. 你也是海伦- Nina Bookbinder is here to see you. - Okay, send her in. -妮娜·布克宾德来访 -好让她进来-Nina. Come on in. -You wanted to see me? -妮娜快进来 -你想见我I was reviewing your data. 我刚在复查你的数据You've been postdating your Friday numbers. 你一直推迟周五数据的日期Which is bad, because...? 这样很不好因为...lt throws my WENUS out of whack. 这样使我的"周净计"出现问题- Excuse me? - WENUS. -你说什么 -"周净计"Weekly Estimated Net Usage Statistics. 每周估计净值使用统计Gotcha! Won't happen again. 明白了不会再犯了I wouldn't want to do anything to hurt your... "wenus." 我绝不会再让你的"周净计"出现问题It's not just that she's cute, okay It's just that... 这不是她漂不漂亮的问题只是......she's really, really cute. 她真的很漂亮It doesn't matter. You don't dip your pen in the company ink. 那也一样兔子不吃窝边草Ross, your little creature's got the remote again. 罗斯你的小动物又在玩遥控器Marcel, give Rossy the remote. 马赛尔把遥控器给罗斯Marcel! 马塞尔Marcel, you give Rossy the remote right now! 马塞尔现在马上把遥控器给罗斯You give Rossy the remote 把遥控器给罗斯- Great. - Relax. I'll fix it. -这下好了 -放心我会修好的Oh, cool! Urkel in Spanish is Urkel. 乌克这个名字在西班牙文中叫"乌克"How did he do this? 他是怎么办到的So tell me something, is leaving the Christmas lights up 我问一句圣诞彩灯还亮着part of your plan to keep us merry all year long? 是想让我们"快乐"一整年吗No, someone was supposed to take them down around New Year's... 不某人在新年期间就应该把它摘下but obviously someone forgot. 但她显然是忘了Someone was supposed to write, 某人应该写个字条"Rach, take down the lights"... "瑞秋摘下圣诞灯"...and put it on the refrigera 然后贴在冰...How long has that been there? 它在这儿多久了- Where you been? - I went back to Riff's. -你上哪儿去了 -瑞菲餐厅I think Ursula likes me. I ordered coffee. 我想厄休拉喜欢我我只点咖啡She brought me a tuna melt and four plates of curly fries. 她却端给我鲔鱼和四盘的薯片Score. 有门了She is so hot! 她好辣Before you do anything Joey-like, 在你展开乔伊"招牌攻势"前you might want to run it by.... 或许你要征求某人的同意- Pheebs? - Yeah. -菲比 -说吧Is it okay if I asked out your sister? 我约你姐出去你会介意吗Why? Why would you want to do that? Why? 为什么你为何要那样做为什么So if we went out on a date, she'd be there. 这样我跟她去约会时她就会在我身边Well, I'm not my sister's, you know, whatever. 好吧反正我也管不了她And I mean, it's true, we were one egg once. 没错我们曾来自同一枚卵子But you know, we've grown apart so.... 但我们渐行渐远所以I don't know. Why not? 我不知道...有何不可Cool. Thanks. 酷谢啦- You okay? - Yeah, I'm fine. -你还好吧 -还好Do you wanna watch Laverney Shirley? 你想看《拉乌妮和舍丽》吗Do you wanna watch Laverney Shirley? 八十年代美国情景喜剧Sorry. 抱歉Hi. Sorry I'm late. Where's Carol? 抱歉我迟到了卡罗尔在哪儿Stuck at school. Some parent-teacher thing. 学校有事她得见见家长You can go. I'll get the information. 你可以走了我留下来上课No, I think I should stay. 不...我应该留下来We should both know what's going on. 我们两个都该留下来上课Oh, good. This will be fun. 很好一定会很有意思的We're gonna start with some basic third-stage breathing exercises.首先是第三阶段基本呼吸练习Moms, get on your back. 各位妈妈请躺下And coaches, you should be supporting Mommy's head. 陪护们支撑妈妈们的头- What? - What? -怎么 -怎么I'm supposed to be the mommy? 我该当妈妈吗I'll play my sperm card once more. 好吧我再拿精子说一次事Look, I don’t see 听着我认为why I should have to miss out on the coaching training 我不能错过这次陪护训练just because I'm a woman. 就因为我是个女人-I see. So, what do we do? - I'll flip you for it. -了解你说该怎么办 -掷硬币Flip me for it? No, no. Heads! 掷铜板吗不不不...我选头...On your back, Mom! 躺下吧妈妈All right,mommies, take a nice deep, cleansing breath. 各位妈妈们请深呼吸净化身心Good. 很好Now imagine your vagina is opening like a flower. 现在请想像你的阴道像花一样绽放- Mr. D! How's it going, sir? - It's been better. -迪先生如何 -好多了The Annual Net Usage Statistics are in. 年度净值已经算出来了-And? - It's pretty ugly. -然后呢 -奇惨无此We haven't seen an ANUS this bad since the '70s. 70年代之后没见过这么惨的"年净" - What does this mean? - We'll be laying off people in every department. -这代表什么 -每个部门都得裁员Hey, listen, I know I came in late last week, 听我解释我知道我上星期迟到了but I slept funny, and my hair was very very... 但我那天睡姿不良头发奇丑无比Not you. Relax. 不是你放松Ever have to fire anyone? 曾经不得不开除某人吗Nina! 妮娜Nina. 妮娜Nina. 妮娜Nina. 妮娜Are you okay? 你没事吧Yes. Yes, I am. 是的我没事Listen, the reason that I called you in here today was.... 听着我今天叫你进来是因为... Please don't hate me. 请别恨我What? 怎么了Would you like to have dinner sometime? 能约你共进晚餐吗So, Pheebs, what do you want for your birthday? 菲比你想要什么生日礼物What I want is for my mom to be alive and enjoy it with me. 我想要我妈复活和我共享人生Okay. Let me put it this way. 好吧这样吧Anything from Crabtree & Evelyn? 想不想要瑰珀翠的产品Anything from Crabtree & Evelyn? 英国彩妆护肤品牌- Bath salts would be nice! - Okay! Good. -我想要浴盐 -好的What is this place? 这是什么地方Look, you’re cold, I have to pee, and... 你很冷我想尿尿而且...there’s a cup of coffee on the window. 窗上还印着杯咖啡How bad could it be? 还有比这更糟的吗I think we have an answer. 我想我们有答案了Why is she here? 她怎么会在这儿This could be God's way of telling us to eat at home.也许这就是老天爷叫我们回家吃饭的方法Think Riff's fired her? 她被瑞菲餐厅开除了吗No, we were there last night. 不昨晚我们还在那吃饭She kept... bringing swordfish. 她不断端来剑鱼Are you gonna go to the...? 你不是要去...No, I'll wait till we order. 不点完之后再去- It's her. - lt looks like her. -是她吧 -看起来像- Excuse me? - Yeah. -打扰一下 -什么事Hi, it's us! 是我们啊Right. And it's me! 好呀是我- So you're here too? - As much as you are. -你也在这儿 -和你们一样Your turn. 该你了- We know what we want. - That's good. -我们知道我们要什么 -很好- Two caffe lattes. - And some biscotti. -我们要两杯拿铁 -还有意大利脆饼Good choice. 不错的选择- It's definitely her. - Yeah. -绝对是她 -没错I can't believe you haven't told that girl she doesn't have a job. 我真不敢相信你还没告诉她她失业了You haven't taken down the Christmas lights. 你还没把圣诞灯拿下来Congratulations! You've found the world's thinnest argument. 恭喜你发现了世上最薄弱的论点I'm finding the right moment. 我只是在寻找适当的时机That shouldn't be so hard now that you're dating. 应该不会太难找到因为你们已开始约会"Honey, you're fired. "亲爱的你被开除了"But how about a quickie before I go to work?" "我上班前何不来个"速战速决""Once you're inside, you don't have to knock anymore. 进门后就不用再敲门了I'll get it. 我来开- Hi, Mr. Heckles. - You're doing it again. -哈克斯先生 -你们又来了We're not doing anything. We're sitting and talking... 我们什么都没做我们只是坐在这聊天...quietly. ...一声不吭I can hear you through the ceiling. 我可以透过天花板听见My cats can't sleep. 我的猫睡不着- You don't even have cats. - I could have cats. -你根本没养猫 -我原本有机会养- Goodbye, Mr. Heckles. - We'll try to keep it down. -再见哈克斯先生 -我们会尽量小声的Phoebe, do me a favor. Try this on. 菲比帮个忙试穿看看I want to make sure it fits. 我想知道合不合身My first birthday present! This is really 我的第一件生日礼物这衣服真...No, no, it's for Ursula. I just figured size-wise.... 不是送厄休拉的我只是想知道尺寸Sure. Yeah. Okay, it fits. 好呀合身Are you seeing her again tonight? 你今晚又和她约会吗Yep, lce Capades. 对去看白雪溜冰团This is serious. 这回你是来真的I've never known you to pay for any kind of "capade." 没想到你会花钱去看什么溜冰表演I don't know. I like her. 我不知道我喜欢她She's different. There's something about her 她与众不同她有种特质That you like. We get it. You like her. Great! 招你喜欢我们懂你喜欢她太好了Phoebe, I asked you. You said it was okay. 菲比我问过你而你也同意了Maybe now it's not okay. 也许现在不同意了Okay. Maybe now I'm not okay with it not being okay. 也许我对于你的不同意也不同意了Okay! 好吧Knit, good woman, knit! 快织好女人快织And that's the Chrysler Building right there. 克莱斯勒大楼就在那儿- Nina! - Mr. Douglas. Cool tie. -妮娜 -道格拉斯先生领带不错She's still here. 她还在这里Yes. Yes, she is. Didn't I memo you on this? 没错她还在我没有提醒你吗After I let her go, I got a call from her psychiatrist, 我开除她后接到她心理医生的电话Dr. Flennan Dr. Flennan Dr. Flynn. 佛...佛...佛林大夫And he informed me that she took the news rather badly. 他告诉我她一时无法接受这个事实In fact, he mentioned the word "frenzy." 老实说他提到"狂暴"这个词You're kidding! She seems so 开什么玩笑她明明看起来...No. Nina? She's 不妮娜她...In fact, if you asked her now... 事实上如果你现在问她...she'd have no recollection of being fired at all. 她根本记不得被开除这件事- That's unbelievable. - And yet believable. -难以置信 -你不得不信So I decided not to fire her again 因此我决定不再开除她until she'll be no threat to herself or others. 直到她对自己和他人不构成威胁为止I guess you never know what's going on inside a person's head.看来人们永远无法了解他人心中所想Well, I guess that's why they call it psychology, sir. 我想这就是"心理学"名字的由来先生The sound Mom and Dad will never forget. 爸妈永远忘不了这声音For this, after all, is the miracle of birth. 这一切说到底是生产的奇迹Lights, please. And that's having a baby. 请开灯这一集是生宝宝Next week is our final class. 下周是我们的最后一堂课Susan, go deep. 苏珊准备接球- It's just impossible. - What is, honey? -这太离谱了... -怎么了亲爱的What that woman did. 那个女人的所作所为I am not doing that. It'll just have to stay in. 我不会这么做的他得留在我体内Everything will be the same. It'll just stay in. 一切和原来一样他得留在我体内Carol, honey, it'll be all right. 卡罗尔亲爱的不会有事的What do you know? 你知道什么No one's asking you, 又没人问你,"Mind if we push this pot roast through your nostril?" "我能将这肉块穿过你的鼻孔吗" Carol, sweetie. Cleansing breath. 卡罗尔亲爱的深呼吸I know it's frightening. But big picture: 我知道你很惶恐往长远想The birth part is just one day. 生产过程只是一天When it's over, we'll all be parents for the rest of our lives. 结束后我们这辈子都是他的父母了I mean, that's what this is all about, right? Ross? 怀胎生子为的不就是这些吗罗斯Ross? 罗斯I'm gonna be a father. 我要当爸爸了- This is news to you? - I knew I was having a baby. -你才刚知道 -我一直都知道要有孩子了I just never realized the baby was having me. 只是没意识到要担起父亲的责任- You'll be great. - How can you say that? -你会是个好爸爸的 -你怎会知道I can't even get Marcel to stop eating the bathmat. 我连阻止马塞尔吃浴垫都办不到- How will I raise a kid? - Some scientists are now saying... -我如何抚养孩子 -罗斯科学家说...that monkeys and babies are actually different. 孩子和猴子是不一样的- Where you going? - Out. -你去哪里 -外面With...? 和谁Yes. 是的Can I just ask you one question? 能问你一个问题吗Have you two, you know, like, you know? 你们有没有...你明白的就是那啥You know, yet? 你知道的对吧Not that it's any of your business, but no, we haven't. 不关你的事但是还没有行了吗You meant sex, right? 你是指性吧对吧- Do you have a sec? - Sure. Nina. What's up? -有空吗 -当然妮娜什么事I don't know.The past few days, people have been avoiding me 我不知道最近几天大家怎么都避开我and giving me these really strange looks. 还怪怪地看我Well, maybe that's because they're jealous of us. 或许是因为他们在嫉妒我们Maybe. But that doesn't explain why they keep taking my scissors. 或许吧但他们为何拿走我的剪刀Maybe that's because you're getting a big raise! 或许是因为你被升职的缘故- I am? - Sure. Why not? -我升职了 -当然为什么不呢Oh, my God! You're amazing! 天啊你真是太了不起了You don't know. 那你可不知道Helen, could you make sure 海伦能尽快办好we put through the paperwork on Miss Bookbinder's raise? 布克宾得小姐升职的手续吗You still want me to send her psychological profile to Personnel?你还要我拿她的心理状况档案到人事部吗- What? - Helen drinks. -她说什么 -海伦喝醉了Will you marry me? 你愿意嫁给我吗I end up told her everything. 最后我把一切都告诉她了How'd she take it? 她的反应如何Pretty well. Except for the stapler thing. 还不错除了拿钉书机钉我之外A tip. If you're ever in a similar situation... 提示一下以后遇见类似的状况... never, ever leave your hand on the desk. 切记别把手放在桌上Okay, I think I get how to do this. 我知道该怎么调这个了Can we turn it off? 我们能把这关掉吗Make them go away because I can't watch. 让这个画面消失我实在看不下去Okay, Pheebs, they're gone. 好了菲比现在没有了Are you all right? 你还好吧It's just this whole stupid Ursula thing. 还不是厄休拉惹的祸Pheebs, can I ask? 菲比我冒昧问下...So he's going out with her. Is it really so terrible? 他和她约会真有那么糟吗Yeah. 是的I'm not saying she's evil or anything. 我不是说她很坏还是怎样She's just always breaking my stuff. 她总是弄坏我的东西When I was 8, and I wouldn’t let her have my Judy Jetson thermo s,我8岁时不肯让她玩我的卡通水杯so she threw it under the bus. 她把它扔到公车下And then there's Randy Brown, who was like 然后还有个蓝迪·布朗就像Have you ever had a boyfriend who was your best friend?你们有没有异性好友变成男友的情况That's what he was for me. 我当时的状况就是如此And she kind of stole him away and then broke his heart. 她把他抢走又伤了他的心Then he wouldn't talk to me anymore. 他从此不和我说话He didn't want to be around anything that looked like either one of us.因为他说他不愿再见像她的人I know Joey's not my boyfriend or my thermos... 我知道乔伊不是我男朋友或者水杯...or anything, but 或其他的什么但是- You won't lose him. - You gotta talk to Joey. -你不会失去他的 -你得找乔伊谈谈-Yeah. - Come on, he didn't know these staff. -说得轻巧 -别这样他又不知道这些- lf he knew how you felt - But he's falling in love with her. -如果他知道你的感受 -但他爱上她了Please. They've been going out a week. 拜托他们才约会一个星期They haven't even slept together yet. That's not serious. 根本还没上床关系还没确定下来Okay. Okay. 好吧好吧May we help you? 需要帮忙吗May we help you? 未完待续Rachel, what are you doing? It's freezing. Would you come inside? 瑞秋你在干什么这么冷的天赶紧进来No, no, no. 不不不You wanted me to take them down... 你让我把它们摘下来...so I'm taking them down, okay? 那我就把它们摘下来Rachel! Rachel! 瑞秋瑞秋I'm okay. I'm okay. 我没事我没事Mr. Heckles? 哈克斯先生Mr. Heckles, could you help me, please? 哈克斯先生能帮我一下吗See, this is just the kind of thing I was talking about. 看吧我说过楼上就是这么吵第一季第十六集老友记So no one told you life was gonna be this way 没人告诉你生活会是这样your jobs a joke, you're broke, 你滑稽的工作你的差劲your love life's D.O.A. 你半途而废的爱情It's like you're always stuck in second gear, 就像开车卡在二档And it hasn't been your day, your week, your month, 每日每周每月or even your year, but 甚至每年都是如此I'll be there for you, 大雨倾盆时when the rain starts to pour. 我会陪伴你I'll be there for you, 我会陪伴你like I've been there before. 像我以前那样I'll be there for you, 我会陪伴你'cause you're there for me too. 因为你也陪伴着我。