三打白骨精中英文对照搞笑版人物：T唐僧S：孙悟空、E：猪八戒、J：沙僧、B：白骨精、B1：B变成的村姑、B2：B变成的太婆、B3：B变化成的老头、N：哪吒T: Wukong,where we are now?悟空我们现在到哪里了S: Bajie,map!八戒地图E: (摸出，递给S) S: oh ，master，look！(凑近T)………（T、S一齐转向E）哦师傅你瞧啊！T: Bajie!How Many times I have told you don't take these pictures of beautiful girls with you! 八戒我告诉你多少次啦不要老是带美女图啦！E: Oh,master!Forgive me(伸手拿回)哦师傅原谅我这次吧T: (缩手)No,i tkink i will take this untill we get to west ,bajie,map.没门，我想就由我暂时保管，直到我们到达西天，取得真经，八戒地图E: But……T: Emitofo,nothing is lust,lust is nothing! Map?E: (递)Here.Em……i am so hungry now,(坐)and i can not moveanymore,奥师傅我肚子饿扁了，再也走不动了S: Fat Pig!肥猪E: Monkey,if you dare to say these two words once again,I will ,Iwill……….死猴子如果你再敢说这俩个字，我就，我就S: You will what(凶相)?你就要干嘛啊E: (软禁)I will help you catch fleas(跳蚤).呵呵我就帮你抓虱子啊！S: Hm!T:（轻咳）Wukong,I am hungry too，would you bring us some food?悟空我也饿了你能帮我们去找点吃的吗？E: You see ,master is hungry,too!你看我们师傅也饿了T: Baijie!Don’t forget who ate my las t meal!八戒不要忘了谁把我上一餐的饭给吃了J: But master,if a monster comes while brother monkeg is away。
what can we do？但是师傅如果大师兄走了，有妖怪来我们怎么办T: Em…….It is a problem.Wukong,do you have any idea?这倒是一个问题悟空你有什么办法吗？S: No problem!(安装)（B已躲在一旁偷看）E: This is…..?这是？S: Electric net!I have learnt the energy of electricity frommaster’s books. So I made this. No monster can approach you ifyou stay in it!T: Em……Wukong, you are becoming more and more knowledgeable! ,knowledge is power!哦悟空你真是越来越知识渊博哦，知识就是力量啊S: ok i am going to find some food ,Bye!(走)好的我去找吃的啦拜拜T；ok it is the show time,好的现在是我们展示自己的时间啦（放音乐《穷开心》三师徒开始跳舞）。
T:i am a little tired, Let’s play cards!(三人开始打牌)音乐《斗地主》我有点累了我们打牌吧B: Hm!Hm!Electric net?it is easy,ha ha ha (变成B1)传说中的电网小菜一碟嘛哈哈哈B1: (接近三人，望着)Can I join you?能加我一个吗T: I’m sorry,lady. We are playing card now,and three people areenough.哦女士我们现在在斗地主三个人足够了B1: (在一旁观看)Oh,Chance!T: oh chance嗯机会B1: Double King!一对kT: Oh….I win! Em……,Lady,you are so clever. Come in and teachme!(准备开电网门)S: (回来，看见B1)Oh,monster!(上前就打)B1: （倒)Ah……T: (气愤)Wukong! Look what have done! She is my teacher!S: She is a monster!T: Nonsense!(深呼吸)S: Oh,please don’t……T:It’s too late!(唱)Once more……you open the door…(泰坦尼克主题曲，走音离谱)S: Please,Please,oh,no……(痛苦抱头)晕去T: (呛住，咳)Wukong,I’m disappointed with you!B: (真身出现)Hm!Sun Wukong, I’ll teach you a lesson!(变成太婆)哈哈哈哈孙悟空我马上就给你一个教训B2:Daughter daughter ,where is my daughter ?Hello,have youseen my daughter?悟空醒看到老妇T: you Daughter?...(连忙挡住地尸体)No,sorry!(陪笑，B2想看后面是什么，T挡)S: （咬牙切齿）You monster, I’ll beat you into hell!(S追打B2,B2躲至T身后，S打，不想打到T头，T晕，S再打死B2)E&J: Are you Ok, master?(扶T)J: Look,(伸食指)how many?T:Two…..(晕乎乎地)Sun Wukong, game over!(B变成B3)B3: (看到B1,B2尸体)Oh….,my daughter, my wife! Who did it?!!(哭喊狂奔过去）S: I’ll kill you, monster!(打)T: （想阻止，未及）You,you.....(险些晕，E,J扶住)You have killedthree lives!S: No,they are not human beings!They are created by monster!不他们不是人是妖精T: Monster?i think You are the real monster! you,go!!you,go!!itis the wrong way ,你走错啦妖精我看你才是真正的妖精，你走，走哪儿来的回哪儿去吧（孙走错唐指出）你走错啦这边S: (悲，离去)（音乐，营造“假”悲伤气氛）《人鬼情未了》E: Master, brother Monkey is.......师傅猴哥真的走啦T: Don't say that guy !B: (出现) Ha,ha,ha!(三尸体B1,B2,B3在B招手后“飘”走)T: （惊）You are......B: How foolish you are ,Mr Tang!(E,J去阻斗，被击退)B: (抓住T)I'll enjoy your meat and blood,ha,ha......S: (悄悄走到B后，打B,B晕)don't touch my master,T: Wukong? E: Oh,Brother Monkey!J: oh Our hero is back!T: I,I can't understand......What happened?S: Master,your IQ needs increasing! This monster changed itsappearance into three shapes in order to cheat you!T: How,how did you find out?S: (沉默).......Monkey's intuition(直觉)N: i am coming .where is the cniminal?S; Ah......you are too late ,Nezha!(对T)I've called the police.N:hei hei (摇醒B)You are under arrest .(出示证件)You have theright to remain silent If you give up the right, anything youwill say can and will be against you in a court of law!let us go(带走B)嘿嘿你被捕了，你现在可以保持沉默，你现在所说的每一句话将来都可能成为呈堂证供，走吧！T: Wukong(S不理T)I admit my mistake this time(S仍不理)I'm sorry(小声)S: What? T: I'm sorry.S: i can not hear clearly.?T: I......am......sorry.....(S 捂耳)（音乐响）《敢问路在何方》（这个放伴奏）T;you are ma monkey.s;i am always your monkey （抱T）我也永远都是你的猴子八戒很不要脸的冲上去推开悟空抱着T八戒；i am always your pig .我也永远是你的猪众人嘘声离开放《英文版路在何方》继续取经结束。