她是毁尸灭迹打扫神人呢
But her teeth fall out.
可她吸毒到牙掉光了
You are really judgmental, you know that?
你也太以貌取人了吧
I'm only gonna say this once, so pay attention.
我就说一回仔细听
I'm Caroline, by the way. And you're Max?
以及我的免疫系统着想
if I just keep on wearing what I'm wearing,
我就穿自己这身就好了
and not the apron,'cause this is chanel.
那件就省了我这身可是xx
So thank you,
感谢聆听
and let's waitress.
My dad doesn't know he's my dad.
我爹压根不知他是我爹
And finally,
最后
you think...
你觉得
this is the sound that gets you service.
一声穿云指我千军万马来服务
I think...
要我说
This is the sound that dries up my vagina.
我的蛋蛋妹给我带来了小蛋糕
Let me pay you for that.
我还是把钱给你吧
Oh, no, no. It's on the house.
不用我请客
It's your birthday.
你生日嘛
How old are you gonna be?
过完生日要几岁了啊
75.
七十五岁
Oh, Earl, if you were just three years younger.
他的自信多到爆棚
and I don't have the heart to tell him.
可惜我没多余的善心点醒他
Miss, could we have some menus?
xx可以给份菜单吗
Oh, sure.
当然
Don't smile.
不要微笑
Cause it raises the bar, and then I have to smile,
-不用-谁都需要帮手
I don't. I've been waiting my whole life, okay?
我不用我当了一辈子的侍应
I've waited on tables, I've waited in bars,
在餐厅酒吧都做过侍应
I've waited on home pregnancy tests.
甚至在家等验孕结果
[Waited:等待侍应一词多义]
I already hire new waitress.
我已经雇新人了
She work in all top restaurants in .
她以前在xx顶级餐厅工作过
I gave her Paulina's uniform.
我都把xx莲娜的制服给她了
你拉高服务标准我就得跟上
and I can't be doing that.
那样太累人了
It's exhausting and I have a bad back.
微笑又累人又有害健康
That's Earl, we're in love.
那是我的恋人厄尔
Do not talk to him,
别跟他多讲话
我是卡洛琳你叫xx对吗
Don't get attached.
先别建立感情
This is the Williamsburg diner, owned by Han Lee,
这间威廉xx餐厅老板是xx
Who just changed his name to Bryce Lee,
最近刚改名叫xx小笼
because I guess he wants people to take him even less seriously.
移民考试的时候别又说错了
Correct. To go with the changing neighborhood.
行好适应新时代"的"社会
Bryce?
小笼
Your name is Bryce Lee?
你改名叫xx小笼啊
Wait, wait, um, um, um...
等等等一下
Don't hire a new waitress, okay?
xx有点事情想问问
but I think someone wore this uniform before me,
这件制服好像有人穿过了呢
like right before me.
而且是刚刚才穿过
Is it possible that I could get another one?
可不可以帮我换一件全新的呀
妹妹真乖这样才有礼貌嘛
Paulina!
xx莲娜
Oh, so... so good, oh...
xx xx死了
Oh, sorry, I didn't realize you were on break.
抱歉不知道你在休息
I just need some horseradish.
我要山葵酱
- Here. - Oh, cool.
Maybe one that's a little less moist.
换件没这么湿漉漉的
Also this mustard color doesn't really go with my skin tone,
另外我的肤色跟xx芥末色不太搭
neither do the mustard stains...
while you were working?
你会觉得烦吗
Oh, you don't have a job. Sorry.
哎呀忘记你没工作了抱歉
Damn, dude, she burned you.
靠伙计她完胜呀
No, hipster.
别搞错了小痞子
Do not think we're on the same team.
您好请问要点什么
We need some...
我们要...
Is that annoying?
看了会不爽吗
Is that obnoxious and rude?
觉得对方又欠扁又无礼吗
Would you find it distracting if someone did that to you
你工作时有人这么弄你
but then he took it over and ruined it.
他顶过来之后客源就跑光了
Hey, sexy woman.
哟性感辣妹
You look so pretty today.
今儿个性感动人啊
You look so beautiful, I forgot how bad your personality is.
一声穿云指我如瀑下阴也干枯
The other waitress disappeared, the Russian one.
那位xx服务生呢怎么不见了
We need horseradish.
我们想要山葵酱
Please.
拜托您了
That, ladies, is how you treat a waitress.
他应该是患了不被当笑话会死的病
Eight months ago he bought it from the Russian mob.
八个月前他向xxxx顶下这餐厅
Clientele used to be all eastern bloc criminals and crack whores,
以前客源通常是xx小流氓吸毒妓女
I have new American name
我取了新的英文名字
to go with changing neighborhood.
好适应新时代"得"社会
To go with the changing neighborhood.
是新时代"的"社会
You need to remember this for your immigration exam.
跟芥末渍也不搭
And these various other stains, and smells.
跟这各式污渍异味更是不搭
I hope that's clam chowder.
白白的是蛤蜊浓汤渍吧...
So...
所以
I think it'd be better for everyone,
为了大家
including my immune system,
-给-收到
Excuse me, where's my waitress?
请问服务生去哪了
她马上来[xx]
Earl.
厄尔
Earl!
厄尔
I made your favorite, red velvet.
我做了你最爱的红丝绒蛋糕
My little cupcake brought me a cupcake.
你去训练她我可是老板