申请美国本科Essay的写作指导范文分析如今，美国本科申请的竞争愈演愈烈，对于众多美国名校申请者而言，在高中成绩、SAT、TOEFL等方面都能取得高分的情况下，究竟如何才能获得学校的青睐，从而争取到有限的录取名额？专家分析，在美国绝大多数学校都不面试国际学生的情况下，毫无疑问，申请Essay是学生展示自己的最好机会。
然而，众多学生在文书写作中却存在诸多问题，如：没有选择很好的Essay写作素材；回答学校的Essay题目偏题；语言、语法的表达错误等。
这些因素不仅使得学生没有很好地通过Essay这个环节向学校展现自我，而且会给自己的申请带来不利影响。
因此，专家建议学生在申请Essay写作过程中一定要找相关方面的留学专家进行把关，这样才能最大限度地向学校展现自己，发挥Essay在申请过程中的重要作用，，从而申请到最理想的学校。
下面，留学专家将通过具体的文书写作实例来向学生讲解申请Essay的写作技巧。
[我要留言咨询]• 芝加哥大学（University of Michigan）Essay I 题目：Everyone belongs to many different communities and/or groups defined by (among other things) shared geography, religion, ethnicity, income, cuisine, interest, race, ideology, or intellectual heritage. Choose one of the communities to which you belong, and describe that community and your place within it. (Approximately 250 words)• 学生原文：“Hi! I’m Shanlin ” “How’s that pronounced? Wait, don’t you have an English name?“ (the idea is to highlight som e conflict over whether it’s easier for you to give up and adopt an English name that’s not yours. We use the girl here as a device, so it’s okay to portray her as a little more ignorant and surprised by your Chinese name.)This happened the first time I traveled outside China and introduced myself to a girl at our dorm. Her confusion left me quite puzzled too, and I wondered if picking an English name would indeed help me fit in. I flipped through dictionaries and name databases, looking for the perfect name to identify myself with. Hours later, frustrated and still indecisive, I closed the book and gave up. I don’t need an English name.My Chinese name given by my grandfather represents the well wishes and love of my family. “Shan” means slow-paced, because my grandfather wants me to take the time to appreciate all that life has to offer; “Lin” means having a kind heart as pure as jade. I’m proud of my name, and I do my best to live up to it.To my family, their only child is leaving for her journey into young adulthood; she must study hard in school and make them proud of her accomplishments. To my friends, the silly girl they grew up with is going all the way across the world for college; she must send back amazing photos of her new adventures. To my country, I am the daughter who, despite being thousands of miles away, will always carry the greatest memories of growing up in China.And to me, Shanlin Hu, this is my exploration. I’ll always be Chinese, but as my geography expands, so wil l what I identify as my new community. I can’t wait to be a part of the Ann Arbor campus where I’ll make meet new people, learn about their cultures, celebrate new traditions, and teach everybody how to pronounce my Chinese name!• 修改后的文章：Living in Shanghai, I have a strong feeling towards the sea. What word might occur to people when they imagine the sea? Huge, endless, blue, shiny… however, when I come up to the shore in Shanghai, the word “dirty” strikes to my mind. What I sawwas far from an ocean paradise. Garbage barges slowly cut through the debris, while thick pools of oil lap against the shore.In recent years, our city has campaigned to reduce air and waste pollution. Iparticipated in the Johnson&Johnson’s Beach Clean-Up Day Project. I, together with other volunteers, worked two hours a day to collect the rubbish along the sea in the summer of 2012. After we finished the work,the scenes recurred in my mind: little boy kicked the beverage cans into the sea, drunken man threw away the bottle in his hand and visitors dropped their rubbish while they walked along the shore. We can send a volunteer team out every day, but it won’t solve the problem if our own people are the ones polluting the sea!Then I took the initiative to encourage clean and green living among my classmates and neighbors. Since I have hundredsof fans on my Weibo, I think it may be a great deal if my fans spread the ideas to their friends so that I started to post the information about environmental protection on my micro-blog. Fortunately, more and more people in our community had noticed the information on Weiboand more people had joined the campaign to pass the spirit of promoting a cleaner Shanghai.This is the community I belong to: calling for more people to protect the environment of Shanghai. I knowthere are still a lot of challenges on our way, but I will stick to that for the cityI love.• 留学专家点评：初稿是通过写自己名字体现自己属于的家庭，并为自己的名字而感到自豪。
但文章的题目是“ 申请者属于哪个社区，以及在这个社区中的情况” 。
很显然，学生将过多的文字放在自己名字的来历以及向别人介绍自己名字上，而并没有很好地回答学校的Essay 题目。