the indestructible Mushu.
Oh. Ha, ha.
Pretty hot, huh?
Uh, my ancestors sent
a little lizard to help me?
Hey, dragon, dragon,
not lizard.
I don't do that tongue thing. - You're, um...
- Intimidating?
- Awe-inspiring?
- Tiny.
Of course. I'm travel-size
for your convenience.
If I was my real size,
your cow here would die of fright.
Down, Bessie. My powers are beyond
your mortal imagination.
For instance, my eyes can see
straight through your armour. Oooh!
All right, that's it! Dishonour! Dishonour on your whole family.
Make a note of this. Dishonour on you, dishonour on your cow, dis... Stop. I'm sorry.
I'm sorry.
I'm just nervous.
I've never done this before. Then you're gonna have to trust me.
And don't you slap me no more.
We clear on that?
All right.
Okey-dokey. Let's get this show
on the road! Cri-Kee, get the bags.
Let's move it, heifer.
Okay, this is it.
Time to show 'em your man walk.
Shoulders back, chest high, feet apart, head up and strut. Two, three... Break it down. Hup, two, three. And work it! - Beautiful, isn't he?
- They're disgusting.
No, they're men. Now, you gonna have
to act just like them, so pay attention.
Look. This tattoo
will protect me from harm.
I hope you can
get your money back.
I don't think
I can do this.
It's all attitude.
Be tough, like this guy here.
- What are you lookin' at?
- Punch him. It's how men say
hello.
Oh, Yao,
you've made a friend.
Good. Now slap him on the behind.
They like that.
I'm gonna hit you so hard,
it'll make your ancestors dizzy.
Yao, relax
and chant with me.
- Feel better?
- Yeah.
Ahh, you ain't
worth my time, chicken boy.
Chicken boy? Say that
to my face, ya limp noodle!
I don't need anyone
causing trouble in my camp.
Sorry. Uh...
I mean, uh, sorry you had to see that,
but you know how it is...
when you get those manly urges
and you just gotta kill somethin'...
fix things, cook outdoors...
- What's your name?
- Uh... I, I, uh...
Your commanding officer
just asked you a question.
Uh, I've got a name.
Ha! And it's a boy's name too. - Ling. How 'bout Ling?
- His name is Ling.
I didn't ask for his name.
I asked for yours!
- Try, uh, uh, ah, Chu.
- Ah Chu.
- Ah Chu?
- Gesundheit. Ha, ha. I kill myself.
- Mushu.
- Mushu?
- No.
- Then what is it?
- Ping was my best friend growin' up.
- It's Ping.
- Ping?
- Of course, Ping did steal my...
Yes, my name is Ping.
Let me see your
conscription notice.
- Fa Zhou? The Fa Zhou?
- I didn't know Fa Zhou had a son.
Um, he-he doesn't talk
about me much.
I can see why.
The boy's an absolute lunatic.。