Misunderstanding of Compliments
(An
American Teacher & a Chinese student are at a party) Dear Lisa, you look very pretty tonight. No, no…(shyness) Yes, really beautiful. No, I’m not!... (shyness grows stronger)
Hospitality --- Overdone or Underdone
Chinese hospitality --overdone: As a very hospitable people, the Chinese attach a lot of importance to taking care of their guests. They would try to help their guests with almost everything and feel bad if a guest had any complaint.

Interpreting a Smile

It may be difficult for Americans to believe that smiling for the Chinese not only means that someone is happy but sometimes also means that someone is sorry for the error he/she has committed.
Language Use for Greetings
In Chinese: Xinghui, Xinghui! (Happy to meet you! Happy to meet you!) Chi fan le ma? (Have you had your meal?) Chi le mei you? (as above) The Chinese style of greeting would bring some puzzles to Americans.
Different Ways of Thinking
The
comments on the pictures: The blue picture indicates the way of thinking, “call a spade a spade”. The red picture indicates the “implicit & mild” way in thinking.
Compliments

It isn’t easy to handle compliments. From time to time, compliments in one country are not those in another. (e.g. compliments about the beauty of a woman)

Daily Communication

Language Use for Greetings


Meeting people is one of the daily activities. In the use of language, the different greetings between the people: In English: How do you do! Nice to meet you! How are you? Etc.

Overdone hospitality
A family dinner party as an example: 20 dishes of different kinds; Pleasant to the eyes; Delicious in taste; Special in aroma.
Different Ways of Thinking



The “implicit & mild” way in thinking could be dated back to a literal works of art entitled “Zhong Yong” by Zi Si (Shen Kong, 483-402 BC), the grandson of Confucius, in Warring Times. “Zhong Yong” refers to the Doctrine of Mean, or the Happy Medium, aiming at the promotion of mildness and moderation in thought and behavior. Four intentions related: A. not overworked while working, B. not overjoyed while entertaining, C. not too tough on others, D. not too much luxury.
Making an Appointment?
Many
Chinese sometimes would like to drop in their friends’ home without an appointment. It doesn’t mean that they are rude but indicates the close relationship between true friends. Some people are overjoyed to have friends roll up uninvited; others regard unexpected visits as a violation of privacy.
Dropping In

Dropping in without any appointment would make Americans uncomfortable. Even a refusal could occur to the unexpected guest.
Dropping in



Girl or Woman

A Chinese teacher of language talked about a group of female international students in class and referred to them as “girls”. One of the female students (American) complained “why it was so.”
Cultures in Contrast --- Some Differences Between Americans and Chinese Robert Bolding Schilling Farms Middle School
General Remarks
An
understanding of the differences between people from different cultures is of vital importance for harmonious relationships. Our experience tells us that a rule which is passionately held to be correct today was equally and firmly frowned on at some other time or in some other place.
In China, if someone drops in uninvited, it isn’t rude to say you’d love to see him but it’s not a good time. However, a relation who drops in deserves more tolerance than a dropping-in neighbor.
Girl or Woman?

Chinese perspective: In China, “girl” means someone who is young and single. “Woman” refers to the female who is married and might not be young. It is insulting to call the young females “women” in China.
Interpreting a Smile
It is desirable for a Chinese to apologize with a smile, which indicates humbleness and embarrassment. A belief in “a smile can kill anger” could account for the phenomenon that the Chinese smiles when he/she wants to apologize.
Girl or Woman?
The
American perspective?
Compliments

Any compliment is welcome both in US and China, so long as it contains no hint of surprise o’t too intimate for the relationship.
General Remarks