A Comparison of the Wedding Culture between China and Western Countries in Modern Times IntroductionThe 21st century is dominated by science and technology, which makes the whole world develop quite rapidly. With the constantly increasing economic globalization and international exchange, the cultures of different regions are gradually spread and fused, such as the wedding cultures of China and Western Countries.It is clear that Chinese wedding and Western wedding differ from each other in many aspects: custom, ceremony procedures, styles and dress, marriage media and place.This thesis discusses the differences between Chinese and Western wedding cultures. It is extremely important to understand the different cultures between China and Western countries, which will help us to correctly understand the words and deeds of Westerners in the intercultural communication, fully understand each other, and respect each other's customs so as to get the best effect of communication.1. Chinese and Western Different Wedding Cultures1.1 Custom1.1.1 Three Papers and Six EtiquettesAccording to Chinese wedding customs, the first etiquette is Three Papers and Six Etiquettes, which is as important as the engagement at Western wedding.Three Papers consists of the paper of engagement, the list paper of the presents to the bride’s and the paper of fetching the bride. They are going to be used on the day of engagement, the bridegroom’s giving the presents of marriage to the bride’s an d going and fetching the bride.Six Etiquettes includes asking for engagement, asking for the name and births of the newlyweds, showing some presents for engagement to the bride’s, giving the presents of marriage to the bride’s, choosing a good date for the wedding and going and fetching the br ide on the day of the wedding. All these etiquettes must be completely in proper order before thewedding, and then the formal wedding can be held.1.1.2 EngagementIn Western countries, people always engage first and then they can hold the formal wedding. Many etiquettes and symbols need to be paid much attention to, especially the diamond ring at the engagement ceremony. Diamond is considered as the best symbol of forever love. The diamond is produced by heat energy and press, which makes it the hardest material discovered by human beings so far. Thus, the bridegroom must send a diamond ring to his bride to show his promise of forever unchanged love at their engagement ceremony. 1.1.3 Other Etiquettes and CustomsEtiquettes and Customs at the Chinese WeddingIn China, the parents always prepare some dowry for their daughter. The dowry means a good wish for their rich and nice life. At the bridegroom’s home, there are also many things to be prepared. At the same time the bridegroom must prepare some money packaged in red paper bags to thank some people on the day of the wedding, such as his bride’s brother and people who helped him. People think the money in a red paper bag from the bridegroom will bring them good luck and nice life.Etiquettes and Customs at the Western Wedding“Something Old, Something New, Something Borrowed, Something Blue, and a Silver Sixpence in Her Shoe”.Each item in this poem represents a good-luck taken for the bride. If she carries all of them on her wedding day, her marriage will be happy. “Something old” symbolizes continuity with the bride's family and the past. “Something new”means optimism and hope for the bride's new life ahead. “Something borrowed”is usually an item from a happily married friend or family member, whose good fortune in marriage is supposed to carry over to the new bride. The borrowed item also reminds the bride that she can depend on her friends and family. “Something Blue”dates from the ancient Rome time, brides wore blue to symbolize love, modesty, and fidelity, as evidenced in proverbs like “Marry in blue, lover be true”. And finally, a silver sixpence dates back to a Scottish customs of a groom putting a silver coin under his foot for good luck, today it represents wealth and financial security.1.1.4 TaboosTaboos at the Chinese WeddingOn the day of the wedding, people can’t say bad words. People say it will bring something bad if they don’t follow the customs. Everything prepared for the wedding must be in pairs.When the bride arrives at the b ridegroom’s, she can’t touch the threshold when she goes across, or she will bring bad luck.The pregnant women and the women who lose a parent or her husband recently can’t attend the wedding, and they can not touch the bride’s new clothes and all of the items in the bridal chamber. If they did this, she had to crawl through the new couple’s unmarried brother’s legs before she can go out.Taboos at the Western WeddingThere are also many taboos at the Western wedding, especially concerning the bride’s wedding dress. White wedding dress must not be matched with red shoes, because red shoes means to jump into the fire pit. Red flower, red belt and other red things mustn’t be matched with white dress, either, since white symbolizes pure while red is the opposite. White wedding dress should match white, golden or silver shoes.The bride must cover her face with a veil at the ceremony, for it is not only a decoration but also representing a dividing line, and it can’t be exposed by other people except the bridegroom. The bridegroom always stands on the right of his bride, in order to avoid others from grabbing his bride away. When the new couple goes back to their bridal chamber, the bridegroom must hug the bride into the house and put her on the bed, avoiding her getting into the house with her left foot first, for they think that may bring bad luck to the new family. 1.2 Ceremony ProceduresCeremony Procedures at the Chinese WeddingThere is a certain order in Chinese wedding. Generally speaking, the whole process of the wedding includes a series of details.( 1 ) Going and Fetching the BrideOn the day of the formal wedding, the bride is dressed up by the elders at her home, waiting for the bridegroom. When the bridegroom meets his bride, they are to say goodbye tothe bride‘s family members after worshipping the bride’s ancestors. They bow down before her parents, after which the newlyweds can set off after the bride’s mothe r drapes kerchief over for her.( 2 ) Performing the Formal Wedding CeremonyIn China, people will select a good date very carefully for a big event, especially for one’s marriage or death, for there are many taboos to avoid and they think a good date may bring good luck. Usually, they consult professional Mr. Fengshui(The one who studies the geomantic omen professionally) for advice.People paste congratulatory couplets and large red Chinese character on the doorframes and walls. And they also lay out red blanket on the ground. The bride and bridegroom will be led across the red blanket, the colorful paper strips and one kind of spray stuff will be setting off above the new couple’s heads. They walk shoulder by shoulder to the front of their parents who have already sat in a row of chairs at the end of the blanket. They bow down before their parents three times, and then they bow to each other three times, too. After that they formally become a couple.( 3 ) Disturbing the NuptialAfter the wedding feast, some of their close friends will plan to make fun of the new couple in their bridal chamber, and usually they play games. The new couple can’t have a rest until all the friends stop to left, and the whole wedding ends.( 4 ) Going back to the Bride’s Three Days LatterOn the third day after the marriage, the bride must go back to her parents with her husband with roasted meat and some other gifts. There, they worship her ancestors again, and they can even stay for a period of time before they return their own home.Ceremony Procedures at the Western WeddingMost Westerners are Christians, so Western wedding is always held in the church, presided by the priest. On the day of the wedding, the new couple’s relatives and friends gather at the church to celebrate their wedding and to be the witnesses of their marriage.As the ceremony begins, the bridegroom and his groomsmen stand with the priest, facing the audience. Music signals the entrance of the bridesmaids, followed by the beautiful bride, and the bride will be led into the church by her father. Then the priest will ask the new coupleand all people to present several questions one by one, beginning with the bridegroom, and then they give their promises of marriage to each other “for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health.” After that they can exchange their rings and kiss each other. Finally, the priest will declare their marriage, which means the end of the wedding.1.3 Styles and DressA Chinese wedding is a very special occasion filled with bright red color everywhere. That's because red represents happiness and prosperity, and also it is a symbol of good luck, indicates the days after marriage is booming.Western wedding trends to be romantic. The whole wedding is full of romantic atmosphere. The bride usually wears a beautiful, long white wedding dress, because white means jubilation in the West. The bridegroom wears a formal suit or tuxedo. For example, in the Andaman Islands, white was the representative of the status change. Traditional white wedding dress was the privilege of nobility in the early days. In Liberia times, most of the brides can only wear the traditional national costumes, and only the upper class can wear white dress at the wedding, which was the symbol of power and identity. Until modern times, after the privilege of nobility disappears the bride can wear white wedding dress ordinarily. 1.4 Marriage MediaIn Chinese wedding, matchmaker is the compere of the wedding. Listening to matchmaker’s proposals is the rule that people must abide by. They usually were women. The bride and bridegroom were directed by her to finish the ceremony.But in Christian’s opinions, wedding ceremony is considered as an important way to get god’s save and wedding ceremony is a very important part of marriage. Priest plays an essential role in it. And marriage is not valid, unless the ceremony is hosted by priest.1.5 PlaceChinese wedding is usually held in the bridegroom's house. The bride and bridegroom worship the heaven, the earth, their parents and each other in the hall of the house. The relatives and friends have dinner in the courtyard.Most of the Westerners are Christians and they believe in God and regard him as the only master of the universe, so Western wedding takes place in church.2. The Reasons for Differences2.1 Social SystemsChina's emperors treat themselves as the Son of Heaven, but “No one is born noble.”Ancient China's political system is Centralized system that the autocratic centralization of power as the core. Despotic centralized system in China continuities 2000 years, and it had a profound impact on the China's reunification and development.While in the West, the emperor and his people are in accordance with the sanctity of contracts under the name of God, and the emperor in accordance with God's will to control the country.2.2 Thought PatternsChinese ThoughtsChinese people are always more conservative, and they like to gather together enjoying the jollification and they have a relatively rigid mind. Thus there is not much change in the wedding customs in the thousands of years’ Chinese history. Many traditional wedding customs and etiquettes remain alive. And the Chinese people’s character of loving jollification is fully manifested in the Chinese traditional complicated wedding ceremony. In the end of the wedding, the couple will be disturbed by friends and family in their bridal chamber, and people think that the more serious the new couple is disturbed, the happier they will be in their life. Therefore, their friends and family use various methods to make things difficult for the bride and the bridegroom.Westerner’s ThoughtsWestern people are more open-minded, and their requirement for the wedding is relatively lower. The climax of their wedding is in the church. With the sacred “Wedding M arch”, th e bride is led by her father with a bouquet of roses in her hand stepping onto the red carpet, walking slowly to the bridegroom. The bride's father will put her daughter's hands in the hand of the bridegroom, entrusting her daughter's life to him. There sounds their oath in the sacred church and both the bridegroom and the bride exchange their marriage rings. After the priest declared the marriage, the bride and the bridegroom may go to the wedding banquet or to take their honeymoon without the complex etiquettes of the Chinese traditionalweddings.2.3 Value OrientationChinese Value OrientationP eople’s marriage is relatively stable because Chinese people always consider marriage as one of the most important things in one’s life. They choose it carefully, and once they decide to get married it will be not easy to change. And as Chinese people always regard marriage as something serious as well as moral; they think it’s immoral to destroy other’s marriage.Chinese people’s marriage is much more a rational choice and it is doubtful how much love there is in such a rational choice of marriage. Therefore, the Chinese people's marriage is much less roma ntic than the Western people’s. Of course, Chinese people have love, too. But there is no inevitable connection between love and marriage. Love and marriage are two entirely different matters, Chinese people can marry someone they love or they do not love. Westerner’s Value OrientationWesterners believe that marriage is purely a private matter, and no one can interfere. They have the right to choose a favorite person to live together, and they will have a second choice once they find the existing marriage is a mistake.It can be said that the Westerners’ marriage is in more need of love, and love is the basis of marriage. What’s why there are the categories of “Golden Marriage”,”Silver Marriage” and "Honeymoon", which look so romantic. In the Western countries, love is the most sacred part of human being’s emotion, which can never be sullied. And this makes it as sacred and absolute as the religious idols. At the same time, it is the extreme emotion of human beings. That’s why they make a life promi se to each other at the wedding and exchange the diamond rings to witness their love.2.4 Religious ViewsChinese Religion and Its Influence on the Wedding CustomsIn China, the traditional moral and religious beliefs are always the most important cornerstone of marriage and stable family.The most popular religion in China is Buddhism whose teachings greatly influence people’s thought. This is reflected in Chinese customs, such as the wedding customs.The Buddhism teaches the common people to enjoy a reasonable arrangement of a good secular life, and to be good people. For example, they prepare things for the wedding in pairs, and they decorate the whole wedding with red items that means goodness. Therefore, Chinese people pay much attention to the etiquettes at the wedding, they stress much and they have many taboos. The Buddhism also tells people to respect the heaven, the earth, the King, their parents and the persons who teach them, that’s why Chinese people must bow down before them at the wedding ceremony. At the same time, religion teaches people how to be a good wife or husband, how they should respect their elders and grow their kids, and the way of making a harmony marriage. Thus, Chinese people always treat marriage as one of the most important things in one’s life, and they can keep a steady family.Western Religion and Its Influence on the Wedding CustomsMost of the Westerners are Christians, they believe in God as the only master of the universe. Christians pay serious attention to marriage. According to the Bible, the Christians have two views: firstly, marriage is sacred, because the origin of marriage is the creation of god himself; secondly, marriage should insist on the principle of monogamy, that’s why God created Eve for Adam. Christians traditionally believe that the premise of divorce is one of the couple committed the crimes of lascivious or one leave voluntarily for different believes, mentioned in the Bible.3. The Measures of blending Chinese and Western Wedding Cultures3.1 Changing Teachers’ Way of Thinking and Improving Teaching MethodsIn China's current education system, foreign language teaching has only been carried out in the classroom and teachers play a leading role. If the teachers will only focus on grammar and vocabulary teaching, the students can not learn the practical application of language, but lack of cross-cultural communication capabilities. Therefore, teachers must be taught to change their concepts, practical understanding of the importance of cross-cultural communicative competence.For a long time, the teaching of English in universities are placed emphasis on teaching knowledge of the language at the expense of cross-cultural communication abilities. In order to change this situation, we must improve teaching methods, both in the aspects of quantitative and qualitative to control the culture of teaching in classroom, and to make fulluse of modern teaching methods to mobilize the enthusiasm of students, teacher can let students to play the bridegroom and the bride in the wedding ceremony. In addition, we must make the new content and language knowledge in close contact, and communication practice must be closely integrated with the language.3.2 Emphasizing on Non-verbal Communication AbilityNon-verbal communication is also an important means of communication, referring to a particular context of using of non-verbal behavior in the process of information exchange and understanding the knowledge. They are not really the units of language, but sometimes it was able to make people communicate better in culture than the language itself. Some specific non-verbal behavior often represents a specific meaning, which must pay attention to cross-cultural communication. To know more about non-verbal behavior is good for understanding the wedding cultures, such as the ceremony procedures.3.3 Extensive Contact with Western Culture MaterialsPeople should make good use of their leisure time reading the West English literary works, newspapers, magazines and current affairs comments and other materials to learn wedding culture and improve cross-cultural communicative competence. In addition, people can go to the English corner to discuss the wedding culture.ConclusionMarriage is an important part of social life, we can make the wedding culture as a breakthrough point to know more about the differences between Chinese and Western culture. In the Chinese and Western weddings, the custom, ceremony procedures, styles and dress, marriage media and place are different and there are many reasons causing the differences such as social system, thought pattern, value orientation and religious views.It is extremely important to know and understand the differences between them, so that we can understand the words and deeds of Westerners correctly and respect each other's customs in the communication, and then we can get the best effect of communication. In conclusion, the Western and Chinese culture is a vast field for Chinese and English learners to explore and study. We still have a long way to understand it deeply.References[1] JiaYuxin.Intercultural Communication Research [M]. Shanghai Foreign Language Education Press, 1997[2] Linell Davis. Doing Culture: Cross-Cultural Communication in Action [M]. Foreign Language Teaching and Research Press, 1999[3] Ma Xiao-na. 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Due to her constant encouragement and patient guidance, her constructive suggestions and correction of the mistakes, I can finish this thesis successfully.Deep appreciation goes to all professors and my friends, for their encouragement and support.In addition, I appreciate my university that gives me such a comfortable learning atmosphere.11。