小学生英语故事英文幽默故事：1、There was a guy（家伙，伙计）who went into a shop to buy a parrot（鹦鹉）. There were three parrots in the shop. One was $5,000; another（另一个）one, $10,000; and the t hird（第三）one, $30,000. The customer（顾客）asked the owner, “How this guy is $5,000? T hat’s so expensive（贵的）for this kind（种类）of parrot.” The owner said, “Because I have trained （训练）him and he can talk.” So the customer asked him, “How about this guy? What can he do that makes him so expensive?” The owner said, “Well, apart from（除了）talking, he can also do some amusing （有趣的）actions （动作）,like dancing and so on. That’s why he’s so expensive.” Then the customer said, “How about the third one? What can he do that makes him so expensive?” The owner of the shop said, “I don’t know. Normally（通常）, I have never heard him talk, nor dance, nor whistle（吹口哨）, nor sing, nothing at all! But the other two call him ‘The Boss（老板）.2、Where is the egg?Teacher:Can you make a sentence（造句）with the word "egg"?Student:Yes.I ate a piece of（一块）cake yesterday.Tea cher:Then where is the “egg"?Student:In the cake,Sir.3、Tom is a little boy, and he is only seven years old. Once he goes to a cinema. It is the first time for him to do that. He buys（买）a ticket（票）and goes in. But after two or three minutes（分钟）he comes out, and buys the second（第二张）ticket and goes in again. After a few minutes he comes out again and buys the third（第三张）ticket. Two or three minutes after that he comes out and asks for another ticket. But a girl asks him,“Why do you buy so many tickets? How many friends do you meet?” “No, I have no friends here, but a big woman always stops me at the door and cuts up（剪）my ticket.”4、Teacher: Would Shakespeare（莎士比亚）be a great man if he were still alive today?Student: Of course. He must be a great man, for so far（目前为止）nobody has lived to over 400 years.5、Mr. Smith: Waiter, there's a dead fly（死苍蝇）in my soup（汤）.Waiter: Yes, sir, I know---it's the heat（热）that kills（杀死）it.6、"Boy, why have you got cotton-wool（棉花）in your ear? Is it infected（感染）?" "No, sir, but you said yesterday that everything you told me went in one ear and out the other , so I am trying to stop it."7、Teacher：We all know that beat causes an object to expand an cold cauese it to contract（热胀冷缩）. Now，can anyone give me a good example（例子）? John：Well ，in the summer the days are long，and in the winter the days are short.8、A Good BoyLittle Robert asked his mother for two cents（分）. "What did you do with the money I gave（给）you yesterday?" "I gave it to a poor old woman," he answered. "You're a good boy," said the mother proudly（骄傲地）. "Here are two cents more. But why are you so interested in（感兴趣）the old woman?" "She is the one who sells the candy.（糖果）"9、Drunk（醉酒）One day, a father and his little son were going home. At this age（年龄）, the boy was interested in（感兴趣）all kinds of things and was always asking questions（问问题）. Now, he asked, "What's the meaning（意思）of the word 'Drunk', dad?" "Well, my son," his father replied（回答）, "look, there are standing（站着）two policemen. If I regard（认成）the two policemen as four then I am drunk." "But, dad," the boy said, " there's only ONE policeman!"普通英语故事Story 1 I Don’t Like HerBob goes to a new school.One day he comes back, “Bob, do you like your new teacher?” his mother asks.“I don’t like her, Mother. Because first she says that three and three is six, and then she says that two and four is six, too.”Story 2 Ten CandiesMother asks her son, “Jim, if you have ten candies, and you eat four, then how many candles do you have?”“Ten.” Jim says.“Then,” Mother asks.“Yes, Mum. Four candles are in my stomach（肚子）and six candies are out of my stomach. Four and six is ten, isn’t it right?”Story 3 Count（数）Tomorrow MorningIt’s a right. John is looking at the sky.Tom is Jo hn’s younger brother. He asks John “What are you doing?”John says, “I’m counting stars（数星星）.”Tom laughs（笑）and says, “It’s really dark now. Why not count them tomorrow morning?”Story 4 Adding Feet to a Snake（画蛇添足）One day, Mr. Lion holds a party. Many animals come and drink a lot of wine. At last there is a pot of wine（一壶酒）. Who can drink it? They think out an idea and decide to have a match-Draw a snake. If you finish first, you can get it.Soon Mr.Wolf finishes drawing. “Yeah, I’ve finished. I’m No.1,” he says. But he draws again and says, “Oh, let me add feet to my snake.” At the time, Mr. Gorilla(猩猩）also finishes. He takes away the pot of wine and drinks, then he says, “That isn’t a snake. Snakes have no feet. I get the wine.”Story 9 Covering One’s Ears While Stealing a Bell（掩耳盗铃）Mr. Wang thinks he is clever, but he always does foolish things.One day he sees a beautiful bell at the top of a door. “Oh! How nice! I will take it home.” He thinks, “What can I do?” After a while he has a “good” idea. “Aha! I have an idea now. I can plug my ears. Then I will not hear the ring when I take off the bell.”Then he does so. But as soon as he takes off the bell, the owner opens the door. “What ate you doing?” the owner says angrily.Story 10 Adding Eyes to a Dragon（画龙点睛）Mr. Li is a good painter（画家）. One day he draws a beautiful dragon without eyes. Mr. Zhou looks at the picture and says, “The dragon has no eyes. It isn’t a good picture.”But Mr. Li smiles and says, “If I add eyes to the dragon, it will fly away.”Mr. Zhou shakes head and says, “You are boasting（吹牛）. I don’t believe you.”Mr. Li isn’t angry. He holds the paintbrush and adds eyes to the dragon. Woe! The dragon really flies.。