翻译实践报告选题说明:本文所选篇章选自《哈利波特与密室》第一章The Worst Birthday,众所周知,这本著名的英国小说作者是J.K.罗琳女士,而这个故事的灵感是1991年她在从曼彻斯特到伦敦的火车上萌发出的。
在语言风格方面,《哈利波特与密室》采用第三人称模式表述的,使得有讲故事的效果,而文中的文字简洁,但同时细节描写十分丰富,饱含幽默感,从而使得小说本身具有独特的吸引力。
本身这本小说就已经被许多出版社翻译出版,而在本文中,笔者尝试着将本文用归化的方法翻译原文,使英语原文的幽默和细腻能以中文的风格呈现出来。
翻译对比:原文:Harry tried to argue back but his words were drowned by a long, loud belch from the Dursleys’ son, Dudley. “I want more bacon.”笔者译文:哈利试着去反驳但他的声音被德思礼的儿子达力一声又长又响的打嗝声给掩盖住了。
“我还再要多点培根。
”中学生读书网译文:哈利试着再一次去争论但是背后传来的一句话却搞得他差点气结。
德思礼家的儿子达利像打嗝一样的大叫::“我还有较多的培根。
”【对比分析】后者虽然能连贯地接起前后,也能表达出部分的人物情感,但对比原文后,让人觉得有点偏离原文意思,而前者充分地保留了原文意思。
原文:The effect of this simple sentence on the rest of the family was incredible: Dudley gasped and fell off his chair with a crash that shook the whole kitchen;Mrs. Dursley gave a small scream and clapped her hands to her mouth; Mr.Dursley jumped to his feet, veins throbbing in his temples.“I meant please'!” said Harry quickly. “I didn't mean—”笔者译文:达力喘着气摔下了椅子,碰撞声惊动了整个厨房;德思礼夫人后捂住嘴发出了一声尖叫;德思礼先生则跳了起来,额角上青筋暴跳。
中学生读书网译文:达利发出崩溃般的喘息声从他的椅子上跌下来,他的体重撼动了整个厨房,德思礼夫人发出一声小的尖叫声并且怕着她的手装腔作势说话;德思礼先生跳起他的脚,血管里的血液像沸腾一般。
【对比分析】两者在形式上都贴合原文,但后者虽然用词更丰富,但意思上有些地方却偏离了原意,如“他的体重撼动了整个厨房”、“并且怕着她的手装腔作势说话”,有些地方则翻译生硬,如“血管里的血液像沸腾一般。
”后者则保留了原意,尽量以中文语言习惯来呈现译文。
译文修改过程:原文:“She's bored ,”一稿:“她只是无聊而已”二稿:“她只是闷得慌了”【对比分析】相比一稿,二稿更生动,更接地气,一个“慌”字把无聊的程度表现出来,也让读者对猫头鹰所做的举动感到理解。
原文:a bit of fried egg dangling from his bushy mustache.一稿:浓密的胡子上沾着一点摇晃的煎鸡蛋二稿:一小块煎蛋在他浓密的胡子上摇摇晃晃【对比分析】相比一稿,二稿形式上保留了煎蛋为主语,内容上采用了四字词“摇摇晃晃”,使句子更生动,幽默。
原文:“Nonsense, Petunia, I never went hungry when I was atSmeltings,”一稿:“废话,佩妮,有得吃的时候我才不会去挨饿,”二稿:“废话,佩妮,我在司梅汀中学就从没挨饿过,”【对比分析】显然两稿差别很大,一稿的时候我认为Smeltings是一个动词,查找翻译认为意思应该是“闻到(食物的味道)”,但后来在查阅小说中出现的地点时,发现Smeltings是一个学校名字,再对比原文,觉得翻译为二稿跟准确合适。
笔者在翻译原文时,发现该小说以地道的英语撰写,同时出现了大量生词,部分句子还容易让人理解错误,如“I don't like the sound of that school food…”、““Nonsense, Petunia, I never went hungry when I was at Smeltings,””、“Dudley, who was so large his bottom drooped over either side of the kitchen chair, grinned and turned to Harry.等,这对翻译造成了很大的阻碍,但通过查阅资料,网上翻译等途径解决了。
这启发了笔者,当遇到生词,地道的句子,长难句等,可以通过网上机翻,网上译本等方法先弄明白意思,如果是有歧义的句子或单词,可以先分析单词的词性,结合上下文和单词意思,合理推断出句子意思。
原文:Not for the first time, an argument had broken out over breakfast at number four, Privet Drive. Mr. Vernon Dursley had been woken in the early hours of the morning by a loud, hooting noise from his nephew Harry's room.“Third time this week!” he roared across the table. “If you can't control that owl, it'll have to go!”Harry tried, yet again, to explain.around outside. If I could just let her out at night—”“Do I look stupid?” snarled Uncle Vernon, a bit of fried egg dangling from his bushy mustache. “I know what'll happen if that owl's let out.”He exchanged dark looks with his wife, Petunia.Harry tried to argue back but his words were drowned by a long, loud belch from the Dursleys’ son, Dudley.“I want more bacon.”“There's more in the frying pan, sweetums,” said Aunt Petunia, turning misty eyes on her massive son. “We must build you up while we've got the chance… I don't like the sound of that school food…”“Nonsense, Petunia, I never went hungry when I was at Smeltings,” said Uncle Vernon heartily.“Dudley gets enough, don't you, son?”Dudley, who was so large his bottom drooped over either side of the kitchen chair, grinned and turned to Harry.“Pass the frying pan.”“You've forgotten the magic word,” said Harry irritably.Dudley gasped and fell off his chair with a crash that shook the whole kitchen; Mrs. Dursley gave a small scream and clapped her hands to her mouth; Mr. Dursley jumped to his feet, veins throbbing in his temples.“I meant please'!” said Harry quickly. “I didn't mean—”“What have I told you,” thundered his uncle, spraying spit over the table, “about saying the M'word in our house?”“But I—”“How dare you threaten dudley!” roared Uncle Vernon, pounding the table with his fist.“I just—”“I warned you! I will not tolerate mention of your abnormality under this roof !”Harry stared from his purple-faced uncle to his pale aunt, who was trying to heave Dudley to his feet.“All right,” said Harry, ” all right…”Uncle Vernon sat back down, breathing like a winded rhinoceros and watching Harry closely out of the corners of his small, sharp eyes.译文:不知道是第几次了,女贞路4号屋这里又在早餐时刻爆发了争吵。
原因是威农德思礼先生又在一大早被他侄子—哈利的房间里传来的鸣叫声吵醒了。
“这个星期第三次了!”他的大声呵斥越过桌子,“如果你再不管好那只猫头鹰,就让它滚蛋!”哈利再次尝试着解释:“她只是闷得慌了”他说“她习惯在外面转来转去地飞的,如果我可以让她到晚上才出去—”“我看起来是个傻瓜吗?”威农叔叔怒吼着,浓密的胡子上沾着一点摇晃的煎鸡蛋,“我知道如果放那只猫头鹰到外面会发生什么事情。