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雅思写作批改--小作文范例2

Many women need to continue working even after they have children. The charts below show the working patterns of mothers with young children to care for.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.
The pie charts illustrate the working profile of mother with dependent children in different age range.
There are three kinds of working pattern: not working, working part-time and working full time. It is clearly from the picture that the younger the youngest dependent child, the more mothers are apt to be not taking a job. With dependent child under 2 years old, 70% of mothers are not working while for mothers of children older than 10 years old, only 26% of them do not have a job. (差距最大的not working)
In comparison, more mothers with older children tend to work part time. Only 19% of them with younger than 2 years old kids prefer part time job while after their children develop to 5 years old and extend, about half of them are able to work part time. Situation of full time working mother is similar but with a difference that 29% of mothers tend to work full time only after their children grow to 10 years old, while before that, only about one tenth of them would like to do full time job.
To recall, before fifth birthday of their children, most mothers tend to not work or take part time job, while after that, most of them are apt to work part time.
总点评:
本篇文章得分: Good。

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