√
understand house city stop least for because leave unpleasant varied begin during since Correctness
×
comprehend residence metropolis cease minimal for the purpose of due to the fact that depart offensive heterogeneous initiate during the years of for the reason that
Correctness （II）
formal approximately inquire ascertain obtain assist participate construct purchase contribute sufficient difficult utilize Informal about ask find out receive help share build buy give enough hard use
“tactful”—— ×Your letter is not clear at all, I can’t understand it. √If I understand your letter correctly…
Courtesy （I）
√
×ቤተ መጻሕፍቲ ባይዱ
1.
Please enclose the price-list and the literature concerned, so that we can decide whether we are to place the order with you.
Business English Correspondence
--Yvonne School of Foreign Studies, NJFU
Criteria for Effective Business Writing



Courtesy Correctness Conciseness



Clarity Concreteness Completeness
1)Emphasizing You-attitude rather than We-attitude “You-attitude”—— You earn 2 percent discount for cash payment “We-attitude”—— We allow 2 percent discount for cash payment
We must receive your price-list and the literature concerned before we can decide whether we are to place the order with you.
Correctness

Correct grammar, punctuation and spelling are basic requirements for business writing, In addition, correctness means choosing the correct level of language, and using accurate information and data.
Conciseness


Effective writing is concise—each word, sentence, and paragraph counts. Conciseness means to write in the fewest possible words without sacrificing completeness and courtesy. Conciseness will give emphasis to your message. e.g.: — “Please quote your lowest price for your best quality.”
“Polite”—— We have received with many thanks your letter of Oct.7, and we take pleasure of sending you our latest catalog. We wish to draw your attention to a special offer which we have made in it.

I am calculating the annual turnover of the refrigerators imported to find out the possible profit before I leave for Tokyo.
I am doing calculation in regard to the annual turnover of the refrigerators imported in order to find out the possible profit in advance of my departure for Tokyo.
2)Focusing on the positive approach
“Positive” —— We feel sure that you will be entirely satisfied.
“Negative” —— We do not believe you will have cause for dissatisfaction
Example




Dear Sirs, we are sorry you have misunderstood us. (×) Dears Sirs, we are sorry we didn’t make ourselves clear. (√) We cannot understand why you have had trouble with these articles. (×) We presume that there must be some reasons for you having trouble with these articles. (√)
3）Use short sentences, simple words and clear explanation Use a word to replace a phrase： enclosed herewith enclosed at this time now due to the fact that because a draft in the amount of $ 1,000 a draft for $ 1,000 Use words to replace clauses: We require full-automatic washing machine which is of the new type. We require new-type full-automatic washing machine.
2）Avoid unnecessary repetition
e.g.
Will you ship us any time during the month of December, or even November if you are rushed, for November would suit us just as well. Rewrite: Please ship us by the end of November.
Example
Enclosed is the copy of receipt. (×) Enclosed is a copy of the receipt. (√) avoid using overstatements It is the lowest price available to you. It is the lowest price that we can offer you now.
eg. They have a decided advantage in regard to freight. (Poor) They have a decided advantage in regard to freight charges . (Better)
Principles 1)Not mere politeness like using some phrases of “please” or “thank you” 2)Keep a sincere You-attitude.
3)Use tactful way to blame your readers, and try to avoid irritating or offensive statement. 4)Answer letters promptly .

Clarity

Use short, familiar words and simple, short sentences rather than long, difficult words and complex and long sentences
How to be Clear?

1) Avoid using the different understanding or unclear meaning words.
Conciseness
How to make a business letter concise?
1）Avoid using wordy expression e.g. Wordy: Enclosed herewith please find two copies of … Concise: We enclose two copies of…