嗯我也想你了亲爱的Yeah,I miss you,too,sweetie.我得挂了晚上见吧Listen,I got to go,but I'll see you tonight?好的Okay.拜拜Bye-bye.拜拜Bye-bye.不你先挂嘛No,you hang up first.喂Hello?老兄我为你好不容易找到个女朋友而高兴Dude,I'm glad you finally got a girlfriend,但你非得当着我们这些光棍的面but do you have to do all that lovey-dovey stuff玩那套你亲我热的把戏吗in front of those of us who don't?事实上他也许该当如此Actually,he might have to.在经济学里有种概念被称之为地位商品There's an economic concept known as a positional good它只在持有人手中才能彰显其价值in which an object is only valued by the possessor因为其他人无法拥有because it's not possessed by others.这个词由经济学家弗列得·赫希杜撰于1976年The term was coined in 1976 by economist Fred Hirsch用来取代更口语化但并不准确的"哦也-哦也"[嘲讽]to replace the more colloquial,but less precise "neener-neener." 才不是呢That's not true.我的快乐不是建立于My happiness is not dependent挚友的杯具与孤独之上的on my best friend being miserable and alone.谢谢Thank you.当然要说我没得儿意地笑肯定是说谎了Although,I'd be lying if I said it wasn't a little bit of a perk.谁杯具和孤独了Who's miserable and alone?我Me.噢Oh.我以前也这样I used to be like that.直到我有了女朋友Then I got a girlfriend.用1976年之前的话来说"哦也-哦也"In pre-1976 terms,neener-neener.嘿你和伯纳黛特准备如何Hey,what are you and Bernadette doing共度你们的第一个情人节for your first Valentine's Day?啊我可是绞尽脑汁了Yeah,I am pulling out all the stops.华馆提供了39.95美金的情侣特典套餐There's a $39.95 lover's special at P.F. Chang's.蛋卷啊饺子啊Egg rolls,dumplings,数不清的炒菜最后你还能和门口硕大的bottomless wok,and you get your picture taken大理石马合影留念on the big marble horse out front.考虑到圣瓦伦丁是个在公元三世纪Given that Saint Valentine was a third century Roman priest 被丢石头和斩首的罗马祭司who was stoned and beheaded,在这个夜晚带着女朋友去看一场残忍的凶杀wouldn't a more appropriate celebration of the evening难道不是更合情理的庆祝方式吗be taking one's steady gal to witness a brutal murder?我明白你的意思但是有选择的话I understand your point,but given a choice,犹太人永远选择中国菜Jews always go with Chinese food.呃如果任何人有兴趣Well,if anyone's interested,今年的情人节I'll be spending this Valentine's Day我会像往年一样the same way I spend every Valentine's Day.从超市买只大烤鸡Buying a rotisserie chicken from the supermarket,带回家站在洗手池边taking it home,standing over the sink像只禽兽一样直接打开包装用手抓着吃and eating it out of the package with my bare hands like an animal. 很好那总结一下一个是大理石骏马Okay,so to sum up: one giant marble horse,一条愚蠢之极的意见one asinine comment,剩男则独自回家吃鸡one lonely man and his chicken.让我们看看还剩谁呢And let's see. Who's left?没错就剩我的计划了Oh,that's right. My plans.有人想要问一下吗Isn't anyone going to ask?好吧告诉我们你会和佩妮云雨一番Fine,tell us you're going to have sex with Penny.这不是我想说的That's not what I was going to tell you.没关系It's okay.我不介意听听你的性生活I don't mind hearing about your sex life.只有他的才会让我抓狂It's his that bugs me.你们猜学校要派谁去瑞士Guess who the university is sending to Switzerland参加研讨会并参观欧洲核子研究委员会的超级对撞机to attend a conference and see the CERN supercollider就在二月十四日on February 14?诺顿教授尽管原因只有上帝才知道Professor Norton,although,God knows why.他自从获得诺贝尔奖之后He hasn't published anything of note就再也没有发表过任何著名的文章since he won that Nobel Prize.事实上诺顿教授去不成了Actually,Professor Norton can't make it.他在攀岩的时候把腰扭了He threw his back out rock climbing.我怎么听说他是在攀新女友的高峰时把腰扭了I heard he threw his back out climbing on his new girlfriend.就是第二台的那个爆乳天气女郎吗The big-boobed weather girl on Channel 2?就是她That's the one.不管怎样他们邀请我代替他In any case,they're asking me to fill in for him.是瑞士还是爆乳天气女郎In Switzerland or with the big-boobed weather girl?瑞士Switzerland.而且我还能带一个人去And I get to bring a guest!哦天呐不可能老兄Oh,man! No way,dude!太难以置信了This is incredible!我太开心了I'm so happy,我甚至不想去质疑他们为什么会选你去了I'm not even going to question their judgment in picking you.我要速度奔回家收拾行李I'm just going to run home and start packing.你怎么不带佩妮去Why wouldn't you take Penny?我是要带佩妮去的I am taking Penny.哦Oh.那我预测你回家会面临个尴尬的境地Well,then I anticipate an awkward situation when you get home. 谢尔顿有空吗Sheldon,you got a minute?当然了我的好朋友Of course,my good friend.请进Come in.帮我参考一下Help me out.哪顶滑雪帽比较像超级对撞机Which ski hat says aprey supercollider?谢尔顿我没有选你去瑞士Sheldon,I'm not taking you to Switzerland.你当然选我了Well,of course you are.你还能选谁呢Who else would you take?佩妮Penny.什么What?这太荒谬了That's absurd.佩妮对亚原子粒子的研究又不感兴趣Penny has no interest in subatomic particle research.没错但那是情人节啊Yes,but it'll be Valentine's Day.我们可以去观光滑雪We can go sightseeing and skiing然后在熊熊炉火前与皑皑白雪所覆盖的and make love in front of a roaring fire阿尔卑斯山阴中共度春宵in the shadow of the snowcapped Alps.但佩妮对亚原子粒子的研究不感兴趣啊But Penny has no interest in subatomic particle research.抱歉谢尔顿I'm sorry,Sheldon.抱歉Sorry?我自从九岁起就一直梦想着有朝一日I've been dreaming about going to the Large Hadron Collider 去看大型强子对撞机since I was nine years old.是吗那我还从六岁起就梦想有朝一日有个女生Yeah,well,I've been dreaming about spending Valentine's Day 能与我共度情人节呢with a girl since I was six.太可耻了Shame on you!这不是科学家该有的梦That's no dream for a scientist!你要给我什么巨大的惊喜啊Okay,what's the big surprise?稍等一下Just a minute.这个托盘里藏着This tray contains clues你和我如何共度情人节的线索as to what you and I are going to be doing on Valentine's Day. 喔好吧Oh. Wow. Okay.让我看看Let's see.有牛奶巧克力We've got,uh,milk chocolate,瑞士硬干酪芝士火锅Swiss cheese,fondue.我的乳糖不耐症男友要吃完这些My lactose-intolerant boyfriend is going to eat all this.然后我骑在他背上Then I'm going to climb on his back直冲月球and rocket to the moon?不对No.但的确跟空中旅行有关But it does involve air travel.这样吧Okay,um...我用"瑞士"军刀let me slice this Swiss cheese切一片"瑞士"干酪with my Swiss army knife,你可以把它加到一杯and then you can wash it down with a cup"瑞士"小姐速溶可可里of Swiss Miss instant cocoa.嗯我觉得瑞士应该是个关键词了Okay,I'm starting to think Swiss is key here.没错Uh-huh.去迪士尼乐园玩马特洪峰雪橇过山车We're going to Disneyland and ride the Matterhorn?这怎么会跟空中旅行有关How does that involve air travel?去迪士尼世界玩马特洪雪橇过山车[奥兰多佛罗里达] We're going to Disney World and ride the Matterhorn?不对No.亲爱的开始是挺好玩的Okay,sweetie,this started out fun,但现在没意思了but I'm over it.我们要去瑞士的We're going to Switzerland欧洲核子研究中心参观超级对撞机to see the CERN supercollider!还有去滑雪And ski. We'll also go skiing.我们要去瑞士滑雪We're going skiing in Switzerland?!你滑我会摔倒不过是的Well,you'll ski,I'll fall,but,yeah,我们要去瑞士过情人节we will be in Switzerland for Valentine's Day. 天啊莱纳德Oh,my God,Leonard!太好了That's incredible!别高兴得太早Not so fast.先别急着点You might want to hold off你的芜菁灯吧佩妮on lighting your rabeliechtli,Penny.芜什么玩意儿Rabe-what-ly?芜菁灯Rabeliechtli.芜菁灯It means turnip light是一种用根菜and refers to a traditional lantern手工雕刻的传统灯笼hand-carved from a root vegetable用于庆祝瑞士的特定节日and used to celebrate certain Swiss festivals. 但你不会参加Which you will not be celebrating原因之一节日在秋季{\c原因之二and B:你去不了瑞士you will not be going to Switzerland.谢尔顿我们谈过了Sheldon,we've been through this.我带佩妮去I'm taking Penny.估计不行Afraid not.你还认得这个吗Do you recognize this?别提室友协议Not the roommate agreement.正是室友协议Indeed,the roommate agreement.请您注意友谊附加条款I call your attention to the Friendship Rider在附录C 未来义务in Appendix C: Future Commitments.第37条当一位朋友受邀"Number 37: in the event one friend is ever invited参观现在瑞士建设中的"to visit the Large Hadron Collider,大型强子对撞机"now under construction in Switzerland,该人应邀请另一位朋友相陪he shall invite the other friend to accompany him."偶滴神啊Oh,for God's sakes.你们连这个也写进协议里吗You actually put that in an agreement?里面还写了Yeah. We also put in what happens如果一人得了麦克阿瑟天才奖怎么办if one of us wins a MacArthur Grant,如果一人有超能力怎么办or if one of us gets superpowers,如果一人被僵尸咬了怎么办or if one of us is bitten by a zombie.就算我尸变他也不能杀我He can't kill me,even if I turn.里面没写一人有了女友怎么办吗Is there anything in there about if one of you gets a girlfriend? 没有那个有点太不着调了No,that seemed a little farfetched.谢尔顿你真打算强制实施这个吗Sheldon,do you really expect to enforce this?我一直遵守I've lived up协议里的所有义务to all my commitments under the agreement.每天至少问候你一次At least once a day I ask how you are,即使我一点都不在意even though I simply don't care.我没有I no longer在晚上十点后进行生物危害演习了stage spontaneous biohazard drills after 10:00 p.m.我也放弃学习图瓦喉唱了And I abandoned my goal to master Tuvan throat singing. -我知道不该问不过什么是-别啊- Okay,I know I shouldn't ask,but what is...? - No.如果允许我训练我能唱得更好I'd be much further along if I'd been allowed to practice. 谢尔顿Look,Sheldon,我知道协议这么写I know it's in the agreement,如果你真的变成僵尸我保证不杀你and if you turn into a zombie,I promise I will not kill you. 我宁愿让你喝我脑浆In fact,I'll even let you eat my brains.但我还是要带佩妮去瑞士But I am taking Penny to Switzerland.这是你的最终决定吗Is that your final decision?没错It is.很好Very well.他不会罢休对吧It's not over,is it?你以为呢What do you think?今早的车挺多啊Got a bit of traffic this morning,huh?你觉得会下雨吗Think it's gonna rain?今天早上Instead of underpants,我把土豆沙拉当内裤穿了I covered my crotch with potato salad this morning.有啥想法Thoughts?我知道怎么让你高兴Okay,I know what'll cheer you up.我们玩你的开车游戏吧Let's play one of your driving games.好啊All right.游戏名就叫叛徒This game is called Traitors.我说三个历史人物I will name three historical figures,你以背叛行为的罪恶程度you put them in order来给他们排下序of the heinousness of their betrayal.本尼迪克特·阿诺德犹大莱纳德·霍夫斯塔德博士Benedict Arnold,Judas,Dr. Leonard Hofstadter.你真觉得我跟他们是一类人吗You really think I belong with Benedict Arnold and Judas? 你说得对You're right.犹大至少为自己的作为Judas had the decency to hang himself以死谢罪了after what he did.别这样谢尔顿Come on,Sheldon.你就不能理解一下Can't you at least try to understand这对我有多重要吗how much this means to me?第二轮莱纳德·霍夫斯塔德Round two: Leonard Hofstadter,达斯·维达[星战黑武士] 鲁珀特·默多克Darth Vader,Rupert Murdoch.鲁珀特·默多克Rupert Murdoch?福克斯电视台老板他们把《萤火虫》砍了He owns Fox,and they cancelled Firefly.提示他和达斯·维达并列第二Hint: he and Darth Vader are tied for #2.对不起昨晚不能陪你I'm sorry I couldn't hang with you last night.我和伯纳黛特约会了I had a date with Bernadette.我知道I know.我在推特上看到了I saw the Tweet.那你干什么了So,what did you end up doing?没干什么Not much.热了块玉米馅饼Nuked a burrito. Oh.向印度女神乌尔瓦希祈祷你会拉稀Prayed to the Hindu god Urvashi that your bowels would loosen 老二蔫得跟柳条一样柔软and your penis would droop like a willow tree.看到谢尔顿了吗You seen Sheldon?没有他还在为超级对撞机的事生气吗No. Is he still mad about the supercollider?对他觉得我背叛了他Yeah. He thinks I betrayed him.搞什么啊I mean,come on.要是你们会带谁What would you guys do if you were me?我会带谢尔顿去瑞士I'd take Sheldon to Switzerland.真的假的Seriously?当然了Absolutely.再把他扔在那里And I'd leave him there.这是什么情况What the hell is that?让我数数Uh,let's see.30把银制餐具30 pieces of silverware.[格里格培尔金特组曲之晨曦]Grieg "Peer Gynt - Morning"早安老伙计Morning,old chum.搞什么What's going on?我给你做了早餐I've made you breakfast.有果汁和咖啡Juice,coffee,还有一些薄饼and pancakes in the shape of some上面是你最爱的虚构角色of your favorite fictional characters.瞧这是弗罗多[出自《魔戒》]See,here's Frodo.你居然做了弗罗多薄饼You made Frodo pancakes?脚毛部分我用的是椰子刨花Yeah,I used coconut shavings to do the hair on his feet. 你进餐前若需要清空膀胱If you need to void your bladder before eating,我会用这顶贝雷帽帮你暖着I can keep them warm with this beret我已经彻底清洗干净that I thoroughly laundered松软程度正适宜用来盖薄饼and pressed into service as a pancake cozy.你有什么目的Why are you doing this?对我近来的行为表示歉意It's by way of an apology for my recent behavior.经过这段时间的思考I've had some time我终于意识到to reflect and I've come to realize友谊不能依靠那堆that friendship is not an aggregation白纸黑字的协定来维系of written agreements.而需要两人之间It's a result of two people互相尊重和体谅respecting and caring for each other.尝尝奶油烤饼吗Butterscotch scone?多谢Thanks.好吃It's good.这其中包含着我满满的尊敬和感情What you're tasting is respect and affection.当然还有一磅左右植物白油And about a pound of Crisco.待你用完早餐After you've finished breakfast,我觉得今天我们可以I thought we could spend the day一起看导演点评版的watching the final season of Babylon 5巴比伦5号[美国科幻剧]with director commentary.你不是讨厌《巴比伦5号》吗You hate Babylon 5.当然既没剧情又不科幻I do. It fails as drama/science fiction,彻头彻尾的仿制大烂片and it's hopelessly derivative.但是你喜欢而我们又是朋友But you like it,and you're my friend.好吧赞Okay,great.我还是不会带你去瑞士Still not taking you to Switzerland.见鬼Drat.没你的弗罗多尝了No Frodo for you.你好Hello.好啊Hello.得我们就省掉假惺惺的友好吧All right,let's dispense with the friendly banter. 你应该知道我为何来此I believe you know why I'm here.关于这点我一直认为Well,I always figured it was to study us,你是来发现我们地球人的弱点discover our weaknesses,再报告给你们的外星君主and report back to your alien overlords.搞笑Yes,amusing.特定情报对你而言Extraordinary intelligence貌似是显得像天外来客般难懂might well appear extraterrestrial to you,但我还是友情提醒下but let me be确切地说more specific.你应该知道我为何在此这个洗衣间里I believe you know why I'm here in the laundry room.喉音唱腔在这里有更好的音响效果吗Better acoustics for your throat singing?还真不赖嘛It's actually not bad.但我来此的真正目的But my true purpose in being here是来做一个简要的幻灯片演说will be revealed in this brief PowerPoint presentation.关灯Lights.为什么谢尔顿·库珀博士必须去瑞士欧核中心Why Sheldon Cooper,PhD,should go to Switzerland参观超级对撞机的理由to see the CERN supercollider:发言人谢尔顿·库珀博士a PowerPoint presentation by Sheldon Cooper,PhD.我的老天爷Oh,for God's sake.这是一位在粒子物理学领域的Here we have a highly gifted researcher超级天才科学家in the field of particle physics他的成就关乎全人类的命运whose work has brought him to the precipice从此改变对宇宙的理解of forever changing mankind's understanding of the universe. 确切来说就是我AKA me.而这是一位女招待And here we have a waitress只会用手指抠牙齿而已brushing her teeth with her finger.确切来说就是你AKA you.不好意思I'm sorry.这算是在奉承我吗Is this supposed to be buttering me up?请等演讲结束后再提问Please hold all questions till the end of the presentation. 这是瑞士欧核中心的This is the Large Hadron Collider大型强子对撞机at CERN in Switzerland,经由数十年规划和建构而成the product of decades of planning and construction.是全世界物理学家心目中的圣地It is a Mecca for physicists the world over.而这是科罗拉多大街的This is Bath and Body WorksBath and Body Works[某品牌]沐浴乳商店on Colorado Boulevard.他们卖香皂和乳液They sell scented soaps and lotions,外加一些小闪饰品some of which contain glitter.现在我们来配对Now,let's see if we can match the individual这两个人以哪个地方作为目的地比较合适to the appropriate destination.好吧O-kay.别闹了Show's over.还没完呢No,it's not.我还有五张幻灯片没讲I've got five more slides.谢尔顿这是莱纳德的决定Sheldon,this is Leonard's decision.他邀我去瑞士我也很想去He invited me to Switzerland,and I intend to go.好吧Very well.玩得开心Enjoy yourself.你将亲眼目睹You're going to be in the presence of something我所梦寐以求了十多年的伟大成就that I've dreamed of seeing for decades.希望你能明白I just hope you'll be able to appreciate这其中所包含的重要意义the magnitude of where you are and what it represents. 我会和莱纳德谈谈I'll talk to Leonard.真的吗You will?对Yes.既然对你而言意义重大那应该让你去If it means that much to you,you should go.谢谢你佩妮Oh,Penny,thank you!没什么You're welcome.我不怎么抱人Since I rarely hug,要抱多久就听你的I'm relying on your expertise regarding duration.我觉得差不多了I think we're there.好极了Oh,good.拜啦Bye-bye.你猜怎么着You know what?没有马子又怎样Even though I don't have a girlfriend,情人节老子照样可以好好过I can still have a good time on Valentine's Day.听我的吧这不可能Trust me,you can't.我早试过了I've tried.不我准备好好过我自己的情人节No,no,no,I'm going to have a "me" day.首先去韩国城找家店做个SPAFirst I'm going to go to one of those SPAs in Koreatown,蒸个桑拿找人按摩一下take a steam and get a massage.然后去宠物店找条小狗狗来舔舔我Then I'm going to stop at a pet store and get licked by puppies. 谢尔顿我得跟你谈谈Sheldon,I need to talk to you.好的朋友All right,my friend.来点Cholermus煎饼尝尝吗Would you like some Cholermus?尝什么Some what?Cholermus煎饼Cholermus.一种传统的瑞士早餐It's a traditional Swiss breakfast dish.我正在训练我的消化系统I'm preparing my gastrointestinal system习惯瑞士菜特殊的烹饪方法for the exotic cuisine of Switzerland.又轮不上你去瑞士You're not going to Switzerland!但我要去Oh,but I am.佩妮没告诉你最新的好消息吗Didn't Penny tell you the good news?她跟我说你背着我去找她She told me that you went behind my back让她觉得内疚主动提出让你替代她去瑞士to guilt her into letting you go instead of her.对就是这个好消息Yes,that good news.想都别想我才是受邀的人Well,forget it. I was the one who was invited.只有我能决定找谁同行I get to decide who goes with me,我决定找佩妮而不是你and it's Penny,not you!霍华德把灯光调暗点好吗Howard,could you lower the lights?我做了段简短的幻灯片演示文稿I have a short PowerPoint presentation.没必要看什么演示I don't need to see your presentation.讨论到此为止了This discussion is over!这回答有够模棱两可的That's a somewhat ambiguous response.到底带不带我去Am I going or not?谢尔顿事已至此Sheldon,at this point,我宁愿自己去也不带你I would go by myself before I would take you.真的Really?真的Yeah,really.好吧那我也别无选择了Well,then,you leave me no alternative.从现在起From this moment forward,我们可以当室友但不再是朋友了we can be roommates,but we will no longer be friends.很遗憾你这么觉得I'm sorry you feel that way.我认为你还未充分意识到I don't think you're fully aware此事的后果莱纳德of the ramifications here,Leonard.你何不指点一下Why don't you enlighten me?既然我们"室友协议"中的友谊条款无效了With the friendship clause of our Roommate Agreement nullified 等我受邀去比尔·盖茨家游泳的时候you are no longer entitled to accompany me你也就失去了随同一起去的资格to go swimming at Bill Gates' house should I be invited.那可伤大了Ooh,that's gotta sting.想想看明天这个时候Just think,this time tomorrow我们已经在瑞士日内瓦we'll be in Geneva,Switzerland共度我俩第一个情人节了for our first Valentine's Day.是啊I know!我今天特地去逛街I went shopping today专门为此行买了件小内内呢and bought special undies for the occasion. 保暖吗那边会很冷哦Thermal?'Cause it's gonna be cold.再好好想想莱纳德Think it through,Leonard.祝你健康[用于对刚打喷嚏者的祝愿] Gesundheit.或者学他们瑞士人讲话Or as they say in Switzerland,祝您健康Gesundheit.你感冒了吗You getting a cold?不可能只是有点过敏No,no,it's probably just allergies.想吃点抗过敏药吗Do you want an allergy pill?我啥都有哦'Cause I have 'em all.处方药非处方药Prescription,nonprescription,进口药国产药实验性药物foreign,domestic,experimental.有管用的吗Do any of them work?没我只是喜欢收集Not really,I'm just an enthusiast.佩妮Penny?你还好吧You okay?我听起来很好的样子吗Did that sound okay to you?别进来Do not come in here!怎么回事What's going on?我这儿开茶话会呢I'm having a tea party.不然你以为怎么回事What do you think's going on?我想我可能得了流感I think I might have the flu.要不就是瘟疫Or the plague.我们是早上9点的飞机Well,our plane leaves at 9:00 a.m.你觉得到那时你会感觉好点吗Do you think you'll feel better by then?会的Yep.因为那时我早已痛苦至死了'Cause I'm gonna be dead.谢尔顿Hey,Sheldon?佩妮病得很重Listen,Penny is pretty sick不能去瑞士了and she's not going to be able to go to Switzerland. 你还有兴趣的话欢迎随我一起去So if you're still interested,you're welcome to come. 太好了Great.我这就去收拾行李I'll start packing.等我一下In a minute.Cholermus煎饼都吐出来了Oh,look,it's the Cholermus.你的汤Here's your soup.-鸡汤-对- Chicken? - Yes.-加了点小点缀的-对- With the little stars? - Yes.加热到180度Heated to 180 degrees?不如我倒你膝盖上你来告诉我到底几度Why don't I pour it in your lap and you can tell me? 不必这么刻薄吧You don't have to be mean.我是病人I'm sick.是啊我也是病人Yeah,well,I'm sick,too.不关我事Not my problem.我就是想不明白我怎么会生病的I just don't understand how this happened to me.我对个人卫生一向一丝不苟I'm scrupulous about my hygiene.还定期给双手消毒I regularly disinfect my hands,一般来说还都避免接触到别人and I avoid contact with other people on general principle. 我不知道怎么说谢尔顿I don't know what to tell you,Sheldon.佩妮谢谢你Oh,Penny,thank you!不客气You're welcome.是你It's you!我拥抱过你I touched you!情人节快乐Happy Valentine's Day.天哪看看这房间Oh,my goodness,look at this room!香槟Champagne!玫瑰Roses!还有巧克力And little chocolates!这一定是我有生以来最棒的情人节This is going to be the best V alentine's Day ever.对了我忘了还准备了这些Yeah,I forgot about all this.但我可永世难忘But I never will.。