搞笑英文话剧剧本Three Times’Beating Monster人物：T唐僧S：孙悟空E：猪八戒J：沙僧B：白骨精B1：B变成的村姑B2：B变成的太婆B3：B变化成的老头N：哪吒T: Emitofo,do you know where we are nowS: Bajie,map!E: (摸出，递给S)S: Look,master (凑近T)………（T、S一齐转向E）T: Bajie!How Many times I have told you, nof to bring these pictures ofbeautiful girls with you!E: Oh,master!Forgive me(伸手拿回)T: (缩手)I’ll keep it for you until we reach the westE: But……T: Emitofo,nothing is lust,lust is nothing! MapE: (递)……we have arrived in White Tiger Mou ntain!Ah I can’t walk on any more!(坐)My stomach do esn’t allow So.S: Fat Pig!E: Monkey,if you dare to say these two words once again,I will ,I will……….S: You will what(凶相)E: (软禁)I will help you catch fleas(跳蚤).S: Hm!T:（轻咳）Wukong,factually,I am a bit hungry Could you go to get mesome foodE: You see ,master is hungry,too!T: Baijie!Don’t forget who ate my last meal!J: But master,if a monster comes while brother monkeg is away…..T: Em…….It is a ,do you have any ideaS: No problem!(安装)（B已躲在一旁偷看）E: This is…..S: Electric net!I have learnt the energy of el ectricity from master’sbooks. So I made this. No monster can approa ch you if you stay in it!T: Em……Wukong,you are becoming more and more scientific!Emitofo, knowledge is power!S: Bye!(走)T: Let’s play cards!(三人开始打牌)音乐《斗地主》B: Hm!Hm!Electric netYou are too childish.(变成B1)B1: (接近三人，望着)Can I join youT: I’m sorry,lady. We are playing Fighting Aga inst Landlord and threepeople are enough.B1: (在一旁观看)Oh,Chance! Bomb!T: Bomb(打出)B1: Double King!T: Oh….I win! Em……,Lady,you are a master-hand . Come in and teachme!(准备开电网门)S: (回来，看见B1)Oh,monster!(上前就打)B1: （倒)Ah……T: (气愤)Wukong! Look what have done! She is my teacher!S: She is a monster!T: Nonsense!(深呼吸)S: Oh,please don’t……T:It’s too late!(唱)Once more……you open the d oor…(泰坦尼克主题曲，走音离谱)S: Please,Please,oh,no……(痛苦抱头)T: (呛住，咳)Wukong,I’m disappointed with you!B: (真身出现)Hm!Sun Wukong, I’ll teach you a lesson!(变成太婆)B2:Hello,have you seen my daughterT: Daughter...(连忙挡住地尸体)No,sorry!(陪笑，B2想看后面是什么，T挡)S: （咬牙切齿）You monster, I’ll beat you into hell!(S追打B2,B2躲至T身后，S打，不想打到T头，T晕，S再打死B2)E&J: Are you Ok, master(扶T)J: Look,(伸食指)how manyT:Two…..(晕乎乎地)Sun Wukong, game over!(变成B3)B3: (看到B1,B2尸体)Oh….,my daughter, my wife! Who did it!!(哭喊)S: I’ll kill you, monster!(打)T: （想阻止，未及）You,you.....(险些晕，E,J扶住)You have killedthree lives!S: No,they are not human beings!They are created by monster!T: MonsterYou are a real monster!Never let me se e you,go!!S: (悲，离去)（音乐，营造“假”悲伤气氛）《人鬼情未了》E: Master, brother Monkey is.......T: Scratch! Don't mention that guy any more!B: (出现) Ha,ha,ha!(三尸体B1,B2,B3在B招手后“飘”走)T: （惊）You are......B: How foolish you are ,Mr Tang!(E,J去阻斗，被击退)B: (抓住T)I'll enjoy your meat and blood,ha,ha......S: (悄悄走到B后，打B,B晕)A thousand years later.T: WukongE: Oh,Brother Monkey!J: Our hero is back!T: I,I can't understand......What happenedS: Master,your IQ needs increasing! This monster changed its appearanceinto three shapes in order to cheat you!T: How,how did you find outS: (沉默).......Monkey's intuition(直觉)N: Excuse me, where is the cniminalS; Ah......you are too late ,Nezha!(对T)I've called the police.N: (摇醒B)You are under arrest .(出示证件)You have the right toremain silent If you give up the right, anything you will say can and willbe against you in a court of law!(带走B)T: Wukong(S不理T)I admit my mistake this time(S仍不理)I'm sorry(小声)S: WhatT: I'm sorry.S: Em Louder,pleaseT: I......am......sorry.....(S 捂耳)（音乐响）《敢问路在何方》（这个放伴奏）T: Let's go guys!( 歌)S: You are carrying the luggage, I am leading t he horse.E: Say goodbye to the sun, Welcome evening glow.J: Sleeping on the ground, again we set out set out, again we set out.Ah......Ah...... Sleeping on the ground again we set out.T: One after the other the seasons go by,and oh e after the other, the yeargo on. You wonder where the road is. The road is under your feet.You uonder where the road is, the road is und er your feet.....英语话剧剧本The BusA Story about Love and Stinky Feet5-6人英语剧本，公交车上的故事，适合大学生活，关于爱和臭脚的故事。

Female student A:,Female student B,Female student C,Boy A: Wang Chiang-ruiBoy B,Old woman,Scene One(Three female students are chatting on a bus. Because all the seats are taken, they are standing, holding onto some plastic rings hanging down from the bus roof. Two boys are sleeping in their seats. Then the bus arrives at a stop and an old woman gets on. She looks at the seats. Seeing no empty seats, she stands next to a female student and holds onto a plastic ring.)Old woman: There're no empty seats. I guess I'll have to stand.(The female students find the old woman not having a seat. They want to help her find one to sit in.)Female student A: We should find a seat for her.Female student B: Right. Those two bad boys did not give their seats to her.(The two boys continue to sleep.)Female student C: We should find a seat for her.Female students A & B: Yes.(Female student A goes to Boy A and taps on his shoulder.)Female Student A: Excuse me, could you give your seat to that old lady(Boy A stretches and continues to sleep. Female students A and B look at each other. Female student B taps on Boy A's shoulder.) Female Student B: Hey! Can you give your seat to that old lady Boy A: (wakes up) I lined up for twenty hours yesterday to buy A-Mei's new album. I'm very tired. I'm sorry I can't give my seat to the old lady. (continues to sleep)Female student C: What should we doFemale student B: Let's ask the other boy.Boy B: (gets up suddenly) Ah!All: (startled)Ah!Female student B: What happenedFemale student C: Why did you screamBoy B: I had a nightmare. It was terrible.Female student B: Excuse me, can you give your seat to that old lady (Boy B falls asleep.)Female student A: Hello! Is it OK for you to make room for that old ladyBoy B: Let me sleep, please. I read an English novel all night last night and didn't get any sleep. Can you let me sleep for a while Female student A: Well, we've tried.Female student B: The young man is really brash.Old woman: Thank you, young ladies! I'm OK! Don't think I'm an old woman. I am healthy. (makes a few kicks like a young man) Female student C: Maybe we worry too much. The old lady's very healthy.(The bus driver hits the brake suddenly and the old woman falls over. It makes Boy A wake up.)Boy A: Oh! Are you OKOld woman: Oh! Oh! My waist!Boy A: You can take my seat. (helps the old woman to the seat) Female student C: Hmm. He just got his conscience.Female student A: Yeah! I was just about to say they got no manners.Female student B: Yeah. I thought he was a cold-blooded animal.Boy A: Hey! Watch your own manners. I've given her my seat. I'm really very tired.(At this time Boy B is embarrassed. He dares not continue to sleep.) Old woman: Thank you, young man. I'm old and useless.Boy B: Don't say that. If I'd given you my seat earlier, the accident wouldn't have happened.(The bus driver hits the brake suddenly again. Boy A falls down.) Scene Two(The Old woman and Boy B sit in the seats. Boy A is standing behind the three girls and drowsing. The three girls continue to chat. Boy A is drowsing carelessly and bumps into Female student A's body.) Female student A: Oh! Who touched me (turns her head around and sees Boy A standing behind her) It's you, rightBoy A: WhatFemale student B: Why You did it intentionally, didn't youBoy A: Wait. I didn't do anything.Female student C: You touched her intentionally, rightBoy A: Hey, I'm not that kind of person. (looks at Boy B) Hey… Is it youBoy B: (confused and shakes his head) Not me. I was sleeping.(The bus driver hits the brake suddenly again. Boy A bumps into Female student A again.)Female student A: (angry) Still saying it wasn't you You pig!Boy A: I didn't mean it.Old woman: Nowadays boys are not the same as those in the past. Boys in the past were all very polite. Now boys are reckless.Female student C: Now what do you have to say Apologize to her. Hurry!Boy A: Alright! Alright! (to female student A) I'm sorry.(Female student A ignores him and continues to chat with the other two girls.)Boy A: It's not my day today.Boy B: Gentlemen don't fight with women. And she's no nice woman.Old woman: Nowadays girls don't have good temper. Time really changed.Boy B: Older people know more than us.Old woman: When I was a young student, I got love letters from many men every day. For the sake of manners, I went out with different men every day.(Boys A and B don't know what to say. Suddenly the bus driver hits the brake. The old woman bumps into Female student C's hips.) Female student C: (surprised) You.....(The old woman looks at Female student C and says nothing.)Old woman: You have nice hips.Female student B: I can't believe the old woman is capable of sexual harassment.Female student C: Maybe nowadays old people are not the same as those in the past.Female student A: Maybe after losing her husband, she feels lonely.Female student B: Ah! Here we are. Let's get off.Female student C: We'd better stay away from those strange people.(Female students get off the bus.)Boy B: Who are those strange people They're real strange. (helps the old womanup) Are you . Those young girls have no sympathy.Old woman: (feels Boy B's hand) You also have a pair of very fine hands.Boy B: (startled) WhatBoy A: This old woman is also very strange.Boy B: Let's go!Old woman: Don't be shy, young man. I have held such kind of hand for a long time.(Boy B frees himself from the old woman's hand and gets off.)Old woman: (looks at Boy A) You're nice, too.Boy A: Hmm, good-bye. (gets off).。