Book 3Unit 1 PersonalityThe Misery of ShynessShyness is the cause of much unhappiness for a great many people. All kinds of people describe themselves as shy: short, tall, dull, intelligent, young, old, slim, overweight. Shy people are anxious and self-conscious; that is, they are excessively concerned with their own appearance and actions. Worrisome thoughts are constantly swirling in their minds: What kind of impression am I making? Do they like me? Do I sound stupid? I'm ugly. I'm wearing unattractive clothes.It is obvious that such uncomfortable feelings must affect people adversely. A person's self-concept is reflected in the way he or she behaves, and the way a person behaves affects other people's reactions. In general, the way people think about themselves has a profound effect on all areas of their lives. For instance, people who have a positive sense of self-worth or high self-esteem usually act with confidence. Because they have self-assurance, they do not need constant praise and encouragement from others to feel good about themselves. Self-confident people participate in life enthusiastically and spontaneously. They are not affected by what others think they "should" do. People with high self-esteem are not hurt by criticism; they do not regard criticism as a personal attack. Instead, they view a criticism as a suggestion for improvement.In contrast, shy people, having low self-esteem, are likely to be passive and easily influenced by others. They need reassurance that they are doing "the right thing". Shy people are very sensitive to criticism; they feel it confirms their inferiority. They also find it difficult to be pleased by compliments because they believe they are unworthy of praise. A shy person may respond to a compliment with a statement like this one: "You're just saying that to make me feel good. I know it's not true." It is clear that, while self-awareness is a healthy quality, overdoing it is detrimental, or harmful.Can shyness be completely eliminated, or at least reduced? Fortunately, people can overcome shyness with determined and patient effort in building self-confidence. Since shyness goes hand in hand with lack of self-esteem, it is important for people to accept their weaknesses as well as their strengths. For example, most people would like to be "A" students in every subject. It is not fair for them to label themselves as inferior because they have difficulty in some areas. People's expectations of themselves must be realistic. Dwelling on the impossible leads to a sense of inadequacy, and even feelings of envy, or jealousy. Weare self-destructive when we envy a student who gets better grades.If you are shy, here are some specific helpful steps toward building self-confidence and overcoming shyness:1. Recognize your personal strengths and weaknesses. Everyone has both. As self-acceptance grows, shyness naturally diminishes.2. Set reasonable goals. For example, you may be timid about being with a group of strangers at a party. Don't feel that you must converse with everyone. Concentrate on talking to only one or two people. You will feel more comfortable.3. Guilt and shame are destructive feelings. Don't waste time and energy on them. Suppose you have hurt someone's feelings. Feeling ashamed accomplishes nothing. Instead, accept the fact that you have made a mistake, and make up your mind to be more sensitive in the future.4. There are numerous approaches to all issues. Few opinions are completely right or wrong. Don't be afraid to speak up and give your point of view.5. Do not make negative comments about yourself. This is a form of self-rejection. Avoid describing yourself as stupid, ugly, a failure. Accent the positive.6. Accept criticism thoughtfully. Do not interpret it as a personal attack. If, for example,a friend complains about your cooking, accept it as a comment on your cooking, not yourself. Be assured that you are still good friends, but perhaps your cooking could improve.7. Remember that everyone experiences some failures and disappointments. Profit from them as learning experiences. Very often a disappointment becomes a turning point for a wonderful experience to come along. For instance, you may be rejected by the college of your choice. However, at the college you actually attend, you may find a quality of education beyond what you had expected.8. Do not associate with people who make you feel inadequate. Try to change their attitude or yours, or remove yourself from that relationship. People who hurt you do not have your best interests at heart.9. Set aside time to relax, enjoy hobbies, and re-evaluate your goals regularly. Time spent this way helps you learn more about yourself.10. Practice being in social situations. Don't isolate yourself from people. Try making one acquaintance at a time; eventually you will circulate in large groups with skill and self-assurance.Each one of us is a unique, valuable individual. We are interesting in our own personal ways. The better we understand ourselves, the easier it becomes to live up to our full potential. Let's not allow shyness to block our chances for a rich and fulfilling life.Two Ways of Looking at LifeYour attitude strongly reflects your outlook on life. Take a closer look at that connection. Are you a pessimist—or an optimist? Can you see how your way of looking actually does color your attitude? And remember: change your outlook and you change your attitude.The father is looking down into the crib at his sleeping newborn daughter, just home from the hospital. His heart is overflowing with awe and gratitude for the beauty of her, the perfection.The baby opens her eyes and stares straight up.The father calls her name, expecting that she will turn her head and look at him. Her eyes don't move. 4 He picks up a furry little toy attached to the rail of the crib and shakes it, ringing the bell it contains. The baby's eyes don't move.His heart has begun to beat rapidly. He finds his wife in their bedroom and tells her what just happened. "She doesn't seem to respond to noise at all," he says. "It's as if she can't hear.""I'm sure she's all right," the wife says, pulling her dressing gown around her. Together they go into the baby's room.She calls the baby's name, jingles the bell, claps her hands. Then she picks up the baby, who immediately becomes lively and makes happy sounds."My God," the father says. "She's deaf.""No, she's not," the mother says. "I mean, it's too soon to say a thing like that. Look, she's brand-new. Her eyes don't even focus yet.""But there wasn't the slightest movement, even when you clapped as hard as you could."The mother takes a book from the shelf. "Let's read what's in the baby book," she says. She looks up "hearing" and reads out loud: "'Don't be alarmed if your newborn fails to be startled by loud noises or fails to turn toward sound. Reactions to sound often take some time to develop. Your pediatrician can test your child's hearing neurologically."There," the mother says. "Doesn't that make you feel better?""Not much," the father says. "It doesn't even mention the other possibility, that the baby is deaf. And all I know is that my baby doesn't hear a thing. I've got the worst feeling about this. Maybe it's because my grandfather was deaf. If that beautiful baby is deaf and it's my fault, I'll never forgive myself.""Hey, wait a minute," says the wife. "You're worrying too much. We'll call the pediatrician first thing Monday. In the meantime, cheer up. Here, hold the baby while I fix her blanket. It's all pulled out."The father takes the baby but gives her back to his wife as soon as he can. All weekend he finds himself unable to prepare for next week's work. He follows his wife around the house, thinking about the baby's hearing and about the way deafness would ruin her life. He imagines only the worst: no hearing, no development of language, his beautiful child cut off from society, locked in a soundless world. By Sunday night he has sunk into despair.The mother leaves a message with the pediatrician's answering service asking for an early appointment Monday. She spends the weekend doing her exercises, reading, and trying to calm her husband.The pediatrician's tests are reassuring, but the father's spirits remain low. Not until a week later, when the baby shows her first startle to the loud sound of a passing truck, does he begin to recover and enjoy his new daughter again.This father and mother have two different ways of looking at the world. Whenever something bad happens to him—a call from the bank manager, a disagreement with his wife, even a frown from his employer—he imagines the worst: bankruptcy, jail, divorce, and dismissal. He is prone to depression; he often feels extremely tired; his health suffers. She, on the other hand, sees bad events in their least threatening light. To her, they are temporary challenges to be overcome. After a reversal, she bounces back quickly, and finds all her energy again. Her health is excellent.The optimists and the pessimists: I have been studying them for the past twenty-five years. The defining characteristic of pessimists is that they tend to believe bad events will last a long time, will undermine everything they do, and are their own fault. The optimists, who are confronted with the same hard knocks of this world, think about misfortune in the opposite way. They tend to believe defeat is just a temporary setback, that its causes are confined to this one case. The optimists believe defeat is not their fault: circumstances, bad luck, or other people brought it about. Such people are not bothered by defeat. Confronted by a bad situation, they perceive it as a challenge and try harder.These two habits of thinking about causes have consequences. Literally hundreds of studies show that pessimists give up more easily and get depressed more often. These experiments also show that optimists do much better in school and at work. They regularly exceed the predictions of aptitude tests. When optimists run for office, they are more apt to be elected than pessimists are. Their health is unusually good. Evidence suggests they may even live longer.Twenty-five years of study has convinced me that if we habitually believe, as does the pessimist, that misfortune is our fault, is enduring, and will undermine everything we do, more of it will happen to us than if we believe otherwise. I am also convinced that if we are in the grip of this view, we will get depressed easily, we will accomplish less than our potential, and we will even get physically sick more often. Pessimistic prophecies areself-fulfilling.You Are What You ThinkDo you see the glass as half-full rather than half-empty? Do you keep your eye upon the doughnut, not upon the hole? Suddenly these clich és are scientific questions, as researchers scrutinize the power of positive thinking.A fast-growing body of research—104 studies so far, involving some 15,000 people—is proving that optimism can help you to be happier, healthier and more successful. Pessimism leads, by contrast, to hopelessness, sickness and failure, and is linked to depression, loneliness and painful shyness. "If we could teach people to think more positively," says psychologist Craig A. Anderson of Rice University in Houston, "it would be like inoculating them against these mental ills.""Your abilities count," explains psychologist Michael F. Scheier of Carnegie-Mellon University in Pittsburgh, "but the belief that you can succeed affects whether or not you will." In part, that's because optimists and pessimists deal with the same challenges and disappointments in very different ways.Take, for example, your job. In a major study, psychologist Martin E. P. Seligman of the University of Pennsylvania and colleague Peter Schulman surveyed sales representatives at the Metropolitan Life Insurance Co. They found that the positive thinkers among long-time representatives sold 37 percent more insurance than did the negative thinkers. Of newly hired representatives, optimists sold 20 percent more.Impressed, the company hired 100 people who had failed the standard industry test but had scored high on optimism. These people, who might never have been hired, sold 10 percent more insurance than did the average representative.How did they do it? The secret to an optimist's success, according to Seligman, is in his "explanatory style". When things go wrong the pessimist tends to blame himself. "I'm no good at this," he says. "I always fail." The optimist looks for other explanations. He blames the weather, the phone connection, even the other person. That customer was in a bad mood, he thinks. When things go right, the optimist takes credit while the pessimist thinks success is due to luck.Negative or positive, it was a self-fulfilling prophecy. "If people feel hopeless," says Anderson, "they don't bother to acquire the skills they need to succeed."A sense of control, according to Anderson, is the real test for success. The optimist feels in control of his own life. If things are going badly, he acts quickly, looking for solutions, forming a new plan of action, and reaching out for advice. The pessimist feels likea toy of fate and moves slowly. He doesn't seek advice, since he assumes nothing can be done.Optimists may think they are better than the facts would justify—and sometimes that's what keeps them from getting sick. In a long-term study, researchers examined the health histories of a group of Harvard graduates, all of whom were in the top half of their class and in fine physical condition. Yet some were positive thinkers, and some negative. Twenty years later, there were more middle-age diseases among the pessimists than the optimists.Many studies suggest that the pessimist's feeling of helplessness undermines the body's natural defenses, the immune system. Dr Christopher Peterson of the University of Michigan has found that the pessimist doesn't take good care of himself. Feeling passive and unable to dodge life's blows, he expects ill health and other misfortunes, no matter what he does. He eats unhealthy food, avoids exercise, ignores the doctor, has another drink.Most people are a mix of optimism and pessimism, but are inclined in one direction or the other. It is a pattern of thinking learned from early childhood, says Seligman. It grows out of thousands of cautions or encouragements, negative statements or positive ones. Too many "don'ts" and warnings of danger can make a child feel incompetent, fearful—and pessimistic.As they grow, children experience small triumphs, such as learning to tie shoelaces. Parents can help turn these successes into a sense of control, and that breeds optimism.Pessimism is a hard habit to break—but it can be done. In a series of studies, Dr Carol Dweck of the University of Illinois has been working with children in the early grades of school. As she helps students to change the explanations for their failures—from "I must be dumb" to "I didn't study hard enough"—their academic performance improves.So, if you' re a pessimist, there's reason for optimism. You can change. Here's how, says Steve Hollon, a psychologist at Vanderbilt University:1. Pay careful attention to your thoughts when bad things happen. Write down the first thing that comes to mind, without any changes or corrections.2. Now try an experiment. Do something that's contrary to any negative reactions. Let's say something has gone wrong at work. Do you think, I hate my job, but I could never get a better one? Act as if that weren't so. Send out r ésum és. Go to interviews. Look into training and check job information.3. Keep track of what happens. Were your first thoughts right or wrong? "If your thoughts are holding you back, change them," says Hollon. "It's trial and error, no guarantees, but give yourself a chance."Positive thinking leads to positive action—and reaction. What you expect from the world, the evidence suggests, is what you're likely to get.Unit 2 Myths and LegendsWhy the Tortoise's Shell Is Not SmoothThe distant sound of low voices, broken now and again by singing, reached Okonkwo from his wives' huts as each woman and her children told folk stories. Ekwefi and her daughter, Ezinma, sat on a mat on the floor. It was Ekwefi's turn to tell a story. Suddenly the murmuring stopped and all eyes turned to their favorite and most skillful storyteller."Once upon a time," she began, "all the birds were invited to a feast in the sky. They were very happy and began to prepare themselves for the great day. They painted their bodies deep red and drew beautiful patterns on them with dye."Tortoise saw all these preparations and soon discovered what it all meant. Nothing that happened in the world of the animals ever escaped his notice; he was full of cunning. As soon as he heard of the great feast in the sky his throat began to itch at the very thought. There was a famine in those days and Tortoise had not eaten a good meal for two moons. His body rattled like a dry stick in his empty shell. Slowly but surely he began to plan how he would go to the sky.""But he had no wings," said Ezinma."Be patient," replied her mother. "That is the story. Tortoise had no wings, but he went to the birds and asked to be allowed to go with them."' We know you too well,' said the birds when they had heard him. 'You are full of cunning and you are ungrateful. If we allow you to come with us you will soon begin your mischief. We know you of old.'"'You do not know me,' said Tortoise. 'I am a changed man. I am not the mischievous man you once knew. On the contrary, I am thoughtful and well-meaning. I have learned that a man who makes trouble for others is also making trouble for himself. Rest assured, I promise I will not cause you any trouble.'"Tortoise had a sweet tongue, and within a short time all the birds agreed that he was a changed man, and they all gave him a feather, with which he made two splendidly colorful wings."At last the great day came and Tortoise was the first to arrive at the meeting place. When all the birds had gathered together, they all set off together. Tortoise was very happyas he flew among the birds, and he was soon chosen as the man to speak for the party because he was a great orator."' There is one important thing which we must not forget,' he said as they flew on their way. 'When people are invited to a great feast like this, they take new names for the occasion. Our hosts in the sky will expect us to honor this age-old custom."None of the birds had heard of this custom but they knew that Tortoise, in spite of his failings in other areas, was a widely traveled man who knew the customs of different peoples. And so they each took a new name. When they had all taken a new name, Tortoise also took one. He was to be called All of you."At last the party arrived in the sky and their hosts were very happy to see them. Tortoise stood up in his many-colored plumage and thanked them for their invitation. His speech was so eloquent that all the birds were glad they had brought him, and nodded their heads in approval of all he said. Their hosts took him as the king of the birds, especially as he looked somewhat different from the others."After a selection of nuts had been presented and eaten, the, people of the sky set before their guests the most delectable dishes Tortoise had ever seen or dreamed of. The soup was brought out hot from the fire and in the very pot in which it had been cooked. It was full, of meat and fish. Tortoise began to sniff aloud. There was pounded yam and also yam soup cooked with palm oil and fresh fish. There were also pots of palm wine. When everything had been set before the guests, one of the people of the sky came forward and tasted a little from each pot. He then invited the birds to eat. But Tortoise jumped to his feet and asked: 'For whom have you prepared this feast?'"' For all of you,' replied the man."Tortoise turned to the birds and said: 'You remember that my name is All of you. The custom here is to serve the spokesman first and the others later. They will serve you when I have eaten.'"He began to eat and the birds grumbled angrily among themselves. The people of the sky thought it must be their custom to leave all the food for their king. And so Tortoise ate the best part of the food and then drank two pots of palm wine, so that he was full of food and drink and his body grew fat enough to fill out his shell."The birds gathered round to eat what was left and to peck at the bones he had thrown on the floor. Some of them were too angry to eat. They chose to fly home on an empty stomach. But before they left each took back the feather he had lent to Tortoise. And there he stood in his hard shell full of food and wine but without any wings to fly home. He asked the birds to take a message for his wife, but they all refused. In the end Parrot, who had felt more angry than the others, suddenly changed his mind and agreed to take the message."' Tell my wife,' said Tortoise, 'to bring out all the soft things in my house and coverthe ground with them so that I can jump down from the sky without hurting myself."Parrot promised faithfully to deliver the message, and then flew away smiling to himself. However when he reached Tortoise's house he told his wife to bring out all the hard and sharp things in the house. And so Tortoise's wife dutifully brought out her husband's hoes, knives, spears, guns, and even his cannon. Tortoise looked down from the sky and saw his wife bringing things out, but it was too far to see what they were. When all seemed ready he let himself go. He fell and fell and fell until he began to fear that he would never stop falling. And then like the sound of his cannon he crashed to the ground.""Did he die?" asked Ezinma."No," replied Ekwefi. "His shell broke into hundreds of pieces. But there was a great medicine man in the neighborhood. Tortoise's wife sent for him and he gathered all the bits of shell and stuck them together. That is why the Tortoise's shell is not smooth."Beauty and the BeastThere was once a very rich merchant who had six children, three sons and three daughters. He gave his daughters everything they wanted, but they were very conceited and spoiled, except for the youngest, whom they called Beauty. She was as beautiful as she was sweet, and her two sisters were consumed with jealousy.One terrible day the merchant learned that he had lost all of his money, and the family was forced to move from their luxurious mansion in town to a small house in the country. The sons immediately helped their father with the outside chores. Poor Beauty, she had never lived without servants. Now she had to get up before sunrise to light the fire and make the food and clean the house. But she soon grew accustomed to it and said, "Crying won't improve the situation. I must try to make myself happy." Her sisters, on the other hand, stayed in bed till noon and were annoyed that Beauty was not as miserable as they were.A year later, the father received a letter that one of his lost ships had been found and had arrived filled with merchandise for him. Everyone was delighted because they would once again rich. As the merchant left, the two older daughters begged their father to bring them home all sorts of precious jewels and elegant gowns. "And what does my Beauty want?" the father asked. "Oh, I need nothing, but if you could bring me a rose, I would be most appreciative," she said. Of course, Beauty did not need the rose, but she thought she had better ask for something so as not to appear to be criticizing her sisters' greed.The merchant reached the harbor, but alas, the vessel had sunk, consequently he was still as poor as before. On the way home he got lost in a forest, and it began to snow. "I shall die of the cold or be eaten by wolves and never see my dear children again," he reflected sadly. Suddenly, he saw a huge mansion with all the lights on. He knocked at the door, but no oneanswered. He entered only to find a large fire burning in the fireplace and a table set with delicious food. He waited a long time for the owner to appear, but no one came. He was starving, so he finally ate a bit of the food. He then found a bedroom where he fell fast asleep. The next morning he was astonished to find a brand new suit of clothes laid out for him and a fresh breakfast awaiting him. "This must be the castle of some fairies," he thought, and so he said a loud "thank you" and left. He was surprised to see that the snow had disappeared and that there was a lovely garden filled with rosebushes. "I shall take just one rose for my Beauty," he said, but as he cut the rose he heard a loud and terrible voice. He saw an ugly monster who said, "Ungrateful man! I have saved your life and in return you steal my roses. You must die!" But the merchant begged the Beast not to kill him for the sake of his children. The Beast seemed interested when he learned of Beauty and her request for the rose. "Then you must ask her to come here in place of you. You will have three months. Return home, and if she will not come then you must return. However you will not depart empty-handed. Return to your room and you will find a chest of gold," the Beast said. "Well, if I must die, at least I shall not leave my children destitute," thought the father, and he took the chest of gold and returned home."Here, Beauty," he said, "take this rose. Little do you know how that rose will cost your unhappy father his life." And he related his adventure with the Beast.Beauty immediately insisted on returning to the home of the Beast to save her father's life and would hear no arguments. On the day of her departure her sisters rubbed their eyes with onions, pretending to be sad that she was leaving and would probably die.When the merchant and Beauty arrived at the palace, it was lit exactly as before. The fire was roaring and the table was magnificently set. "Oh, the Beast intends to fatten me before he kills me," thought Beauty. Despite her fears she acted cheerful and brave for her father. Suddenly they heard a horrible noise, and the Beast appeared. "Have you come here willingly?" the Beast asked. "Yes," trembled Beauty. "Good, then say farewell to your father." The grief-stricken merchant was thus forced to leave his daughter and return home. Beauty was sure that the Beast would eat her that night. She was surprised to find "Beauty's Apartment" engraved on a gold plate over the door of her bedroom. The room was full of magnificent furniture and the shelves were lined with all the books that she loved. There was a piano for her to play. Inside one of the books was written,Welcome Beauty, banish fear,You are queen and mistress here.Speak your wishes, speak your will,Swift obedience meets them still.。