So we're going to Santa Barbara to pick up the bassinet. 我们要去圣巴巴拉拿摇篮车Or we can save five hours 或者我们省下5个小时and go around the corner to baby town. 直接去拐角处的婴儿市场What are you doing all day? 你今天要干嘛- Jay! - It's fine, mom. -杰 -没关系的妈妈No, it's not fine. Today's Manny's birthday. 怎么没关系今天是曼尼的生日Aw, jeez. I'm sorry, kid. 呀孩子真是抱歉Don't worry. Reuben's family's taking me for a birthday lunch. 别担心罗本一家要带我去吃生日午餐You see? Even the Reubens remembered. 你看连罗本一家都记得We'll be back at 6:00, 我们会在6点回来and we're taking you to a special birthday dinner. Okay? 然后带你去吃特别生日晚餐好不好- We are? - Jay! -真要吗 -杰I'm sorry, kid. 抱歉孩子I wasn't sorry. It was a setup. 我并不抱歉那只是障眼法We're throwing him a big surprise birthday party. 我们要给他办一个大型惊喜生日派对And he totally fell for it, the little jerk. 他竟然完全信了那个小兔崽子I mean, that's the whole point of a surprise party. 那正是惊喜派对的意义所在嘛You take someone who you really love 你把自己真心爱的一个人and you play 'em like a fool. 当傻子一样耍That's not the whole point of all this. 那才不是我们这样做的全部意义Manny has been feeling a little bit neglected, 曼尼感觉自己有点被忽略了and I wanted to give him the most special day. 所以我想给他一个最特别的日子This is the last birthday 我们三个人单独庆生that it's only going to be the three of us. 也就这最后一次了I can't wait to see the little dope's face. 我迫不及待想看到小宝贝了...And then that smug Carol Chu was all, 然后那个自以为是的卡萝·曲就开始咆哮"You can't dig without an environment impact study." "没有环境影响报告是不能挖的"And then I was like, "Bam!" 然后我"嘭"地一下and then I slapped the study onto Charlie's desk, 把报告甩在了查理的桌子上and Carol was like, "But--but--but--" 卡萝就在那里 "但但但是"and then I was like, "Chu on that!" 然后我就说 "去"你妈的You said that? 你那么说了吗Well, not with my mouth. With my eyes and my swivel. 没用嘴说用我的眼神和潇洒的转体So how was your day at work? 你呢今天工作怎样Oh, you know, fine. 就那样还行Yeah? 是吗I'm an idiot. 我真是个笨蛋I know Cam's been struggling since he went back to teaching.我知道小卡自从回去教书就一直很挣扎The students, the faculty-- 那些学生那些教员None of it's clicking. 没一个好对付的The last thing he needed 他绝不会想听到was me going on about my latest work triumph. 我最近工作有多成功And then it got worse. 之后情况更糟糕了Come on, daddy. It's time for our wedding. 大爸快过来我们的婚礼要开始了- What's happening? - Oh, Lily and I are gettin' married. -什么情况 -莉莉和我要结婚了Uh, what's happening? 什么情况When she proposed, I thought it was a little weird, 当她求婚的时候我觉得有些诡异but then I read it's a phase that some girls go through. 但后来我查到有些女孩会经历这个阶段- So... - Oh, no, well, I just think it's the cutest thing ever. -所以 -是我只是觉得这超可爱Here, dad. I made you this ring. 给你二爸我为你做了这枚戒指Cute, cute, cute, cute, cute, cute, cute! 太太太太太可爱了Do you have a ring for me? 你有戒指要给我吗Well, Lily, it wouldn't be a wedding without a ring. 莉莉没有戒指就不是婚礼了Yay. Loving this! 耶好有爱啊Daddy, move. 大爸走开Okay, I guess I'll just go sit on the groom's side. 好吧我猜我要坐在新郎那边Oh, come on, Cam. It's fun. 得了小卡好玩而已Oh, it's fun. It's--it's super fun! 好玩真是超好玩啊You finally got married! Hooray! 你终于结婚了万岁- Oh! - Are you okay, sweetie? -嗷 -你还好吧宝贝儿What do you think?! 你觉得呢This is very rare indeed. 真是百年难见的奇景啊Geekus nerdipithicus in its natural habitat. 奇葩书呆子回归自然本性- Alone as usual. - Mine. -一如既往地独自一人 -我的摄像机Hey, give it back. 嘿拿回来Gloria asked me to record Manny's birthday. Mom! 歌洛莉亚叫我给曼尼的生日会录像妈Alex, give it back To your brot-- 艾丽克斯还给你弟Mm, sorry. I tried to care. 算了我实在懒得管This is everything I made at the boutique last week. 这是我上周在时装店赚的所有钱了I'm not gonna have any money left for me. 你全拿去我就什么都没了Should've thought of that before you got thrown out of school.你在被学校开除之前就该想到这点You live here, you pay rent. 你住在这里就得交租You used to be fun. 你以前可是个老好人You used to be--what? Oh, yeah, at college. 以前是吗上大学的时候Uh, hang on. Wait. 等等Gloria says that we are surprising Manny 6:00 tonight, 歌洛莉亚说今晚6点要给曼尼一个惊喜but she wants us there at 4:00, 但她要我们4点就到那which means she's expecting us to do the setup. 就是说她要我们来布场I say we leave here around 5:00. 我说我们5点走Great. 好的That's Kenny from work. 是我同事肯尼Oh, I'll get it. 我去开We're going to a street fair, 我们要去集市so we'll just meet you guys at the party. 所以我们派对上见Oh. You've been spending a lot of time 你和这个新同事肯尼- with this Kenny from work. - Stop it right now. -最近老是黏在一起嘛 -打住Is it gettin' romantic? 有开始暧昧吗- N-- - Yeah... -没-- -是的吧- Well... - Yeah. -其实嘛... -是的吧Mom, this is Kenny. And, dad, you already met. 妈这是肯尼爸你们已经见过了Uh, yeah. First of all, Kenny, sick ponytail. 是哦首先肯尼胡须真浓密啊Oh, thanks, man. 谢谢- Kenny designs jeans for our boutique. - Uh-huh. -肯尼给我们店设计牛仔裤 -呵呵Oh! That reminds me. I got something for you. 提醒我了给你带了东西What are you, a 32-34? 你穿多大的 32-34吗What are you, 36, 38? 你"多大" 36 38岁吗- What are you, in my mind? - Put 'em on your body. -你是我肚子里的蛔虫吗 -穿上看看Will do. Will do. 好的好的Phil, honey, d--uh-- 菲尔亲爱的Kenny is kind of a big deal. 肯尼可是个名人哦What does that fashion web site call you again? 那个时尚网站叫你什么来着a "Jean-ius." Spelled like "Jeans." "牛才" 拼写和"牛仔"很像Mortifying. 真是愧不敢当And a "Rack star." Ohh. 还有"衣架巨星"And a "Rack star." Ohh. [发音和摇滚巨星Rock Star相似]Hey, what was the headline again? 那个标题是什么来着Oh, yeah. "He's denim-ite." 对 "他是天命牛仔奇才"Oh, yeah. "He's denim-ite." [牛仔布:denim]What an embarrassing week you've been having. 那你这周多尴尬呀Ooh. Yeah. Mm. 是呀I'm just trying to stay fresh creatively, you know, 我只是想保持鲜活的创造力made my bones in men's apparel, 把我的精髓融入男士服装里and now I'm working with these local boutiques... 现在我正和当地的这些精品店合作just trying to get into girls' jeans. 尝试涉猎女款牛仔- Phil! - There's no Phil here! -菲尔 -菲尔已经不在了These jeans just slipped on me so perfectly. 这牛仔裤太合身了My name must be pantsarella. 我已经改名为穿牛仔的灰姑娘Boom! Comfortable, right? 赞舒服吧Like a diaper. Mm. 舒服得像尿布一样- Well, we should get going. - Oh, yeah. -我们该走了 -是呀Um, but you wanted to say... Something. 但是...你想说点什么- Oh, yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Sorry. Yeah. - Okay. -对是的是的抱歉 -说Uh, listen... 听着You made it seem like you had jeans for both of us, 你弄得好像是给我们夫妻都送了牛仔裤And Claire hasn't gotten hers yet, so... 但是克莱尔没有拿到她的所以...- I am so sorry. - Don't worry about it. -真是不好意思 -别担心Here you go. 给- Enjoy. - Kenny, you're amazing. -要喜欢哦 -肯尼你太赞了- No, man. - Have fun. -不是 -玩得开心You're amazing. 你才是真的赞I love him. 我真喜欢他Phil! 菲尔- You think he likes me? - Phil! -你觉得他喜欢我吗 -菲尔That is a date. They're going on a date. 那是个约会他们要去约会What? He's practically my age. 什么他几乎跟我同岁了Okay. Uh, yeah, right, right. 是的对对对得很And what middle-aged guy would be interested 什么样的中年男人会对一个in a young, attractive, newly legal woman? 年轻漂亮刚成年的女人感兴趣呢Oh, that's right! All of them. 对了所有中年男人都那样That's not true. I wouldn't. 不对我就是个例外Really? 真的吗Hermione Granger? 赫敏·格兰杰不是吗- What? - Mm-hmm. -什么 -嗯哼I'm just a "Harry Potter" Fan. 我只是个"哈利波特"迷而已Yeah. 是啊Has she blossomed into a lovely young lady? 她有长大成为一名可爱的年轻女士吗Yes, but--Luke, 是的但是卢克I'm never telling you anything! 我再也不告诉你任何秘密了oh, my god, Jay! Look how beautiful! 天啊杰快看多漂亮啊Look at this. But the bookstore is empty. 你看看这多挤书店却空荡荡的That's why China's kicking our ass. 正因此中国才要领先我们了33! 33号Ay, no. 59. 不是吧 59号We're so late, and we still have to pick up the drinks. 我们来太晚了而且我们还得去取饮料Excuse me. I'm terribly sorry. Excuse me. 借过不好意思借过Sir? This is my cake right here. 先生那正是我订的蛋糕How about I'll just leave money, I take it? 我直接付钱然后拿蛋糕走人怎么样Sir, if I did for you, 先生我要是答应你I'd have to do it for everyone. 就得答应所有人的要求Not if you just did it for me. 你就当我是个特例好啦33! 33号Excuse me. Excuse me. 不好意思不好意思We're in a hurry. We have a birthday party. 我们有急事我们要举办生日派对Oh, why didn't you say something? 你怎么不早说呢We don't see many of those around here. 急着开生日派对的顾客真是"少见"呢You think you can intimidate me with that attitude? 你以为我会被你恶劣的态度唬住吗- What do I look like to you? - 34! -你以为我多大 -34[胸围]Thank you, but the point is that my son is waiting in-- 谢谢但重点是我儿子在等着... Gloria, it's not worth it. 歌洛莉亚跟他争不值得We don't need these people. 我们不用求这些人- Jay, we need... - Come on. We'll get a better cake. -我们 -走吧能找到更好的蛋糕Are you crazy? How are we gonna... 你疯了吗我们怎么可能...I've got it covered. Excuse me, miss? 我有办法打扰一下女士I'm sorry I raised my voice in there, 抱歉我刚才在里面那么大声嚷especially in front of the baby. 尤其是还当着小宝宝I know how delicate they can be. 我知道他们是多么的敏感Oh, you're so nice to say that, 你这么说真是太贴心了but you know they're sturdier than you think. 但他们其实比你想象中坚强In fact, every day I learn these little mir-- 实际上每一天我都学到一些小...Yeah, take care now. 行了你保重Hey, honey. 嘿宝贝Daddy, what's in the bag? 二爸包包里装的什么Oh, it's a present for Manny, 是给曼尼买的生日礼物and I also got your other daddy a little something 我还给你大爸买了小礼物'cause he's been feeling down today. 因为他今天心情不太好How's your eye, sweetie? 你的眼睛怎么样了宝贝Oh, it's fine. It's just a scratch. 没事了只是小伤而已Let's go this way, honey. 我们这边走亲爱的Oh, Cam, are you wearing a suit to Manny's birthd-- 小卡你要穿西服去曼尼的生日派Okay, let's get your hospital band off. 好来摘掉你的绷带I like it. 我喜欢这绷带- Okay, that can be your "Something blue" then. - Cam? -就当作"蓝色物品"吧 -小卡- Okay, that can be your "Something blue" then. - Cam? [新娘佩戴蓝色物品是西方婚礼的传统] Daddy, I wanna drive my car. 爹地我想开我的新车A car? Oh. A car. 什么新车哇塞新车Just a second, sweetie. 马上就好亲爱的Okay, does anyone know a reason why these two shouldn't be wed?谁有理由不让这两位新人成婚She's my wife. 她是我老婆Okay, so by the power vested in me by the State of Candy Land...那么以糖果帝国授予我的权利...And Utah. 犹他州授予的吧And Utah. [该州允许一夫多妻制]I now pronounce you husband and wife. 我宣布你们正式结为夫妻Daddy, I wanna play with my car now. 大爸我可以去玩我的新车了吗Okay. Of course. Yes, sweetie. 当然可以去吧宝贝But remember, we have to walk down the receiving line. 但记着我们要顺着迎宾队列徐徐走过Oh! What a turnout. 噢真是漂亮的出场Cam, y-you got her a car? 小卡你居然给她买了辆车I can't help it that you skimped on your wedding. 我无法忍受你娶她竟然舍不得花钱Okay, look, I-I know what's underneath all this, all right? 听着我知道这一切背后的原因是什么Right now in your life, 现在你的生活中- you're feeling, you know, very... - No. -你感到非常... -错Please do not turn me marrying my daughter into something ugly.请不要把我和女儿结婚说得那么丑陋Lily is having the time of her-- 莉莉只是在经历一个人生阶段...Cam! 小卡Oh, please. Do not blame me. 拜托那不是我的错We always knew there was a strong possibility 你我都早有预料她很可能she'd be a terrible driver. 会是个糟糕的司机I know we're running late, Claire. 克莱尔我知道我们晚了We'll be there soon. 我们马上就到Just start setting up. 你们先开始布置吧What do you mean, "Surprise, surprise"? 你说"真是个意外"是什么意思Hang on. I've gotta go. You take care. 等等我得挂了你先忙着吧- What's the matter? - Jay, I can't find the parking ticket. -怎么了 -杰我找不到停车票了Calm down. Everything's gonna be fine. 别着急一切都会好起来的Oh, good. It's a male attendant. 太好了是个男服务生What does that mean? 你什么意思How would you get out of this situation if I wasn't here? 想想我不在的话你会怎么给自己解围Hey, pal, 你好哥们My housekeeper forgot her ticket. 我家保姆找不到停车票了You're going to need to back up, go up to the third level, 你们得倒回去然后到三层的and find the pay station. 付款台去付停车费Ay, you can't just let us go? 你就不能放我们过去吗I know I put it somewhere here but I cannot find it now. 我肯定是放在哪儿了但就是找不到Pay station. Third level. 去付款台在三层Maybe you can let us go now, 你先放我们走嘛and then next time I do you two times? 下次人家一次性给你"两次"好吗The only way you're going to get out 你们想出去唯一的办法就是is to go back to the pay station. 回到付款台交费Actually, there is another way. 实际上还有一个办法You okay? 你还好吗Let's drive through something else! 好极了我们再去撞几个栏The gala celebration is only minutes away. 盛大的庆典马上就要开始了Delectable refreshments, 到处是美味的饮品excited classmates, 兴奋的小同学们And what's this? The most beautiful sight of all? 这是什么世上最美的景象不过如此Go away! 走开He's old. She's young. It's gross. 他一把年纪她年轻貌美真恶心Honey, nothing's happening. 亲爱的他们没什么的Young people seek out older mentors all the time. 年轻人总是喜欢向长辈学习When I was 17, 当年我17岁时I was really close with my friend Stacy's mom. 我和我朋友斯黛西的妈妈走得很近Mrs. Robinson was a former cheerleader, 罗宾逊女士以前也是拉拉队员so she knew just how to massage my legs after practice.她特别清楚训练后该如何给我按摩大腿She had her own homemade Bengay that didn't burn 她有一种自制的缓解肌肉酸痛的药膏no matter where she rubbed it on me. 无论怎么在身上蹭都不会有灼热感If I had the chance to go over there, 如果我有机会去她那里I never missed an opportunity. 我不会错过任何机会的I think maybe you did. 我想你或许错过了很多"鸡会"Oh, I forgot the present in the car. 我把礼物忘在车里了Oh. All right. I'm gonna go take a squirt while you grab it. 好吧你去取我去放个"水"- I know! - I love us! -好笑吧 -好爱我们俩It's crazy! 屌爆了- I'm gonna fight him. - Phil. -我要揍死他 -菲尔No, Claire, I'm gonna fight him up real nice. 别拦我克莱尔我要狠狠揍他一顿How about you start with a threat? 要不还是先威胁他一下吧Hey, Claire, um, could you help me with this? 克莱尔你能帮我一把吗Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah. 行行行Yeah, you gotta go around the other side. 你到那边去- I need to keep my eyes on Phil. - Ooh, what's happening? -我得盯着点菲尔 -怎么了He's about to drop the hammer on Haley's new boyfriend. 他马上要去把海莉的新男友吓跑He's twice her age, and it's disgusting. 他比她大一倍太令人作呕了Yeah, reminds me of 是啊让我想起a certain manager at the Cheesecake Factory that you dated.你当年约会过的某奶酪工厂的小经理Oh. Todd. 你说Tod啊He had a camaro... and power. 他可是有车又有权Ugh! He was nasty. You just did it to get a rise out of dad. 他糟透了你跟他约会就是为了气老爸Yeah, well, look how well that worked out. 是啊但事与愿违It didn't bother dad at all, and then I was stuck with a guy 老爸一点反应都没有而我却落了个who smelled like potato skins 身上一股土豆皮味and said "Supposably". 且用"倘若"这种蹩脚词的男友Well, you have to admit, dad played that pretty brilliantly. 你必须承认老爸那招还挺灵的You know, after a few weeks, 没过几周you got bored with him, and then you dumped him. 你就厌倦了那男人把他给甩了I did. 是啊I dumped him up real nice. 我狠狠把他给甩了- Phil. - Claire. Oh, come on. -菲尔 -克莱尔拜托Phil, you can't say anything to Kenny. 菲尔千万别对肯尼说任何话- What? - No. -什么 -不行I know why Haley is doing this. 我知道海莉为什么这样做She's doing it to get back at you for being so hard on her. 她是为了报复你对她那么严厉I did the same thing to my dad. 我当初也是这么对付我爸的First of all, I'm not your dad. 首先我跟你爸可不一样And do you think I'm just gonna let this happen? 而且你觉得我会任由她跟他约会吗Trust me. The more it bothers you, 相信我你越是生气the longer he stays. 他呆的时间就越长The more we ignore it... 而我们越是坐视不管...Up top, dad! 来击个掌老爹Yeah! 好耶Nailed it. 搞定...the sooner Willie Nelson's on the road again. 那位威利·尼尔森就会越早走人...the sooner Willie Nelson's on the road again. [美国乡村歌手也是大胡子长头发]I'm so conflicted. 我好纠结What you're saying makes sense up here, 我脑子里知道你说得有道理but it's not what I wanna do here. 我心里却不能接受And I just feel so damn comfortable down here. 我臀部这里却感觉好舒服I forgot to tell ya I put that in the trunk. 忘了告诉你我把那东西放在"后背箱"里了I forgot to tell ya I put that in the trunk. [trunk一词多义: 后背箱/臀部]Oh, I know. I had to reach under your jeans. 知道我不得不伸到你的裤子下面去拿- I can't believe that! - We're so crazy! -难以置信啊 -我们屌爆了It's adorable! 你个小可爱Wanna see outside? 出去转转吧yeah. 好啊Sweetie, I brought you a cookie. 宝贝我给你买了饼干I ate at the emergency room. 我在急诊室吃过了You worked that in seamlessly. 你那缝合的很完美啊Oh, come on. It was-- it was an accident. 别这样那只是场意外Stop beating yourself up. Hey, let's go mingle. 别再自责了走我们也一起乐去No. You know what? 不其实吧Some of my students are here, and I'm just-- 我有几个学生在这我现在...-I'm not in the mood. -All right. -我没那个心情 -好吧Cam, we're gonna talk about this. I know what's going on. 小卡我们得谈谈了我知道你在闹什么别扭You're obviously going through something at school. 你肯定在学校工作不顺You're struggling, and I have just made things worse 你心里挣扎难受我还火上浇油By bragging about what a hero I've been at work recently. 夸自己工作如何得心应手没考虑你的感受And it--it's-- it's not a competition. 但这不是在跟你竞争You know, my victories are your victories. 我的成功就是你的成功Your defeats are my defeats. 你的失败就是我的失败Hey, Mr. Tucker! There he is! 塔克老师他在这儿*Bow across a cello string 拉动琴弦**Piano keys a hammerin 弹奏钢琴**Voices raised in harmony 美妙音乐**For our dear ol' Cameron 致我们亲爱的卡梅隆*We love you, Mr. Tucker! We love you! You're the best! 爱你塔克先生你是最棒的Bye! Bye! 再见老师Yeah, it's been a nightmare. 是啊确实像噩梦一般And thank you for assuming I'm terrible at my job. 谢谢你认为我不能应付自己的工作No. 不是的Hey, everybody. Sorry we're late. 我们到了抱歉迟到了We got caught doing a bunch of stuff. 我们路上遇到点事耽搁了Or not doing a bunch of stuff. 或者什么事儿都不干Okay, manny is going to be here soon, 好啦曼尼马上就到了So let's go over the plan. 我们把步骤再过一遍When we hear him coming, we turn off the light. 听到他快进来时我们把灯关掉Then when he comes in and turns it on, 他一进来我们就把灯打开We all scream "Surprise!" 然后大喊"惊喜"You got a pen? I wanna write this down. 有笔吗我得记下来He's coming up the driveway! 他正从车道走过来He's here early! Hurry up! 他来早了大家各就各位Hurry! Hurry! 快快Ahh, shh, shh, shh. 嘘嘘嘘Quick. I don't want the neighbors to see us. 快点别让邻居看到You're sure we're alone? 你确定屋里没人吧Yeah. They're not home till 6:00. 确定他们6点才会回来Good, 'cause I wanted to give you your birthday present. 太好了因为我要给你个特别的生日礼物Actually, I'd like to see your face. 其实我想看清你的脸It's harsh, I know. 灯太晃眼了我知道I begged them to put in a dimmer. 之前跟他们说过该装个调光器No! 不是的Surprise. 惊喜哦Manny, we're so sorry. We didn't mean to-- 曼尼对不起我们本无意...What? Ruin the greatest moment of my life?! 无意什么把我人生中最美好的时刻搞砸吗Thanks again, mom! 真是谢你了妈And the surprised becomes the surpriser. 本应接受惊喜的人成为了惊喜制造者This party had everything. 这派对真是太精彩了Manny 曼尼Manny, please come out. 曼尼出来吧Unless you're here to cut a food slot on my door, 如果你不是来往门上装送食槽You can leave now. 那么你可以走了Nobody's going to make fun of you. 没人想捉弄你Kids make fun of you if you get a haircut. 对孩子来说剪个新发型就会被同龄人取笑I just gave them a full-blown sex scandal. 我制造了性丑闻这下他们有的吐槽了Everybody's so excited to celebrate with you. 大家本想开心地为你庆祝的Ay, no. 哎呀不会吧The baby was ready, but I was not. 婴儿急着要出来可我还不能让他出来It was bad enough that manny had to share his mother.让曼尼和别人分享他的母亲已经够委屈他了I couldn't let him share a birthday, too. 还要和别人分享生日那可不行You stay in there! 你给我乖乖待在里面I thought you wanted me to come out. 你不是劝我出来吗I do! I do! Come out! 是啊是啊出来吧I do! I do! Come out! 我们还给你偷了蛋糕Gloria, tag out. Let me give it a shot. 歌洛莉亚闪开让我来Yes, you fix it. 你来劝劝吧Look, I'm not gonna sugarcoat this, kid. That was rough. 我不会粉饰这件事那确实挺难堪的Go away! 走开But there's an upside. 但这事也有好的一面The best thing about kissing a girl 毕竟吻女孩最让人高兴的Is you get to tell your friends. 莫过于可以向朋友炫耀The problem is, they never believe you. 但问题是没人会相信你But you had witnesses. 现在你有一大帮证人了We're gonna be talking about this one for years to come,aren't we?刚才那事可以拿来吐槽好几年呢You said it, Kenny. 那可不肯尼Manny seems to me like a-- like a real old soul. 曼尼看起来像个小大人儿Kenny is amazing at telling the age of a soul. 肯尼非常擅长观察人的心理年龄Thanks, babe. 谢谢宝贝儿Age is nothin' but a state of mind, you know? 年龄其实取决于心态不是吗I mean, I'm probably more of a 14-year-old than he is. 比起他我更像个14岁男孩呢Believe me, I know 14-year-olds. 相信我我深知14岁孩子什么样He has a 14-year-old daughter. 他有个14岁的女儿- Oh, yeah. - Oh, cool! -是的 -太酷了Oh, honey! You don't have to do that. They have a gardener. 亲爱的用不着你来动手园丁会修剪的Trust me on this. 相信我对此事的判断I want to, 我是想相信你But you're just so wrong about so many things. 但多年来你的判断几乎从来没对过Just keep practicing. 继续练习Hey, cam, I-I'm so sorry that I insulted you earlier. 小卡抱歉之前侮辱到你了I thought that there was something going on at work, 我以为你工作上遇到了什么不顺And, obviously, I was wrong. 但显然我错了Well, you're wrong again. It is about work. 那么你又错了确实跟工作有关This is a fun game. 真是把我闹糊涂了I didn't bring it up before because I was embarrassed. 我之前没说是因为觉得很难堪But yesterday was the best day I've had at work yet. 昨天真的是我工作最顺利的一天I clicked with the students, the teachers. 我和同学们老师们打成一片- I finally felt like I belonged. - I get it. -我终于融入进去了 -我懂You couldn't possibly get it. I'm in the middle of my story. 你怎么会懂我话还没说完呢I'm sorry. 抱歉Every day at 2:30, I call Lily, 每天下午2:30 我都会给莉莉打电话And we dunk a cookie together. 然后一起泡饼干吃And yesterday, 可是昨天I forgot. 我忘记了Forgot my own daughter. 把女儿忘在一边And obviously, she resents me for it. 显然她为此记恨着我It's why she asked you to marry her, to get back at me. 所以她让你跟她结婚以此报复我Okay, here I-I need to point out that she's 5 好吧我必须指出她才5岁And not a character from "Dynasty." 也不是《豪门恩怨》中的角色And as much as I try to connect with her, 我越是想亲近她I just keep making it worse. 越是弄巧成拙Maybe you're just trying too hard. 或许是你太刻意了Everybody, come in! 大家快进来Manny's coming down. 曼尼要下来了Somebody pick up that towel before someone trips. 谁把毛巾捡起来免得到时有人绊倒Okay. I got it. 好我来Daddy! 大爸Okay! Daddy's coming! What's wrong with me?! 别怕大爸来救你我是怎么回事Okay, everybody. So, 好了各位那么We sing, then presents, then cake. 我们先唱歌然后送礼物最后吃蛋糕That's a colombian tradition. 那是哥伦比亚的传统And we do not speak of what happened before. 谁都别提刚才的事Nobody saw anything. 就当没发生过That's another colombian tradition. 那也是哥伦比亚的传统Here he is, the man of the hour! 他来啦我们的小寿星Happy... 生日...Gloria, you okay? 歌洛莉亚你没事吧No, I'm fine! I'm fine. 不我没事我没事Hap--aah! Aah! "生"...No way! She peed! 不会吧她尿了Her water broke! 是羊水破了So far, 14's not my favorite age. 目前为止我的14岁过得不堪入目No, it's nothing! Keep singing! Keep singing! 我没事继续唱继续唱Ha... Ay! Stop it! 生...我不行了We're gonna pop on over to the hospital. 我们去趟医院Pizza's on the way. 比萨的外卖就快到了You think about it, run a mop over this area? 你们能把地板擦擦吗Ay, manny! I'm so sorry, okay? 曼尼对不起原谅我And the birthday video becomes a nature film. 生日录像改为自然纪录片Luke, come on. 卢克别闹了Oh my gosh! It's happening! 天啊要生了Manny, I am so sorry about today. 曼尼今天真的很抱歉I just wanted you to have a happy birthday. 本想让你过个快乐的生日的And speaking of birth-- days... 说到生日Don't listen to him. 别听他的I'm not letting this baby out before midnight. 我不会在午夜前生下这个孩子的This is your day. 今天是属于你的I'm not gonna let you share it every year, okay? 我不会让你每年与人分享的好吗Mom, look. 妈听我说Yeah, I've felt a little neglected lately, 没错我最近有一些被忽视的感觉but I've had you to myself for 14 years. 但我已经一个人独占你的爱14年了That makes me a little sad. 你这话让我有些难过Oh, please. If we had actually forgotten his birthday, 拜托如果我们真的忘记了他的生日he'd be out right now kissing a cute brunette. 他现在就会亲着一个美丽的褐发小姑娘Things work out. 那是好事You know that I love you no matter what? 你知道无论怎样我都会爱你吗You're trying to hold another person inside of you 你为了照顾我的情绪而尝试将另一个人to spare my feelings. Message received. 留在肚子里你的爱我明白Ooh, that's a strong grip. 握得好用力Ah, that's a--that's a-- that's a-- 好了好了Ah, she's gettin' close. 快生了She's at, like, 8 beautiful centimeters. 她的宫口现在已经扩张到美丽的8厘米Hey. I don't think we've met. I'm Kenny. 嘿我们不认识吧我是肯尼Hi. I'm disgusted. 你好我觉得恶心Mitchell, she won't even look at me. 米奇尔她甚至都不想看我Well, she can't really look at anyone. 她现在谁都看不见Oh! Look who's back... 瞧谁回来了Again. What happened this time? 又回来了这次怎么了He threw me in the pool. 他把我扔到了泳池里No, that's not what happened. 不不是这样的It kind of is. 就是这样的Luke, come on. We don't need to relive it. 卢克得了我们不用再经历一次- Daddy! - Oh, look at this. -大爸 -看这个- I'm coming! Daddy's coming! What's wrong with me?! - Mitchell. -我来了大爸来了我是怎么回事 -米奇尔。