Did you see it? 你看到了吗Does she know? 她知道吗This is the last thing she needs today. 千万别让她知道了No! 别看Busy day at the Dunphy compound. 今天邓菲家可忙了We have a wedding tonight, 晚上要参加婚礼and this afternoon, Claire is debating Duane Bailey 下午克莱尔要和杜恩·贝利辩论in the race for town council. 竞选镇议员And now the "Weekly Saver" says 而现在《每周救星》报上说that some voters find Claire-- quote-- 一些选民认为克莱尔"Angry and unlikable." "脾气暴躁讨人嫌"To those voters, I say, 我想对这些选民说"Wait till she sees this." "被她知道你们就完了"No one can mention it to her. 千万别告诉她We can't have some unscientific poll 不能让这些无厘头的民意调查shaking Claire's confidence. 打击克莱尔的信心Phil... 菲尔- What poll? -Too late. She knows. -什么民调 -完了她知道了Who told her? 谁告诉她的- What is this, a witch hunt? - Oh, my god. -干嘛扣"莫须有"的帽子吗 -我的天啊I have to go. 我得挂了Well, I just don't think it's a big deal. 我觉得这没啥大不了的I mean, how many people read the "Weekly..." 没多少人会读这《每周...》叫啥来着- "Saver"? -"Saver," anyway? -《救星》 -《救星》随便吧22,000... ish. 两万两千左右吧My company adver-- 我们公司used to advertise with that newspaper. 曾经在这报纸上登过广告And how am I angry and unlikable? 我怎么就脾气暴躁兼讨人嫌了Can I take this one? 我能回答这个问题吗I wouldn't. 劝你别You seem angry now. 你现在就很暴躁I am angry, at that poll. 是这民意调查惹的I think it's the yelling. I would tone down the yelling. 我觉得是因为你大吼大叫说话得温柔点儿Honey, I don't yell for no reason. 宝贝我不会无缘无故大吼You yelled at my teacher for calling me "special." 老师说我"特别" 你就冲她吼Honey, that was not a compliment. 宝贝她那不是夸你- Sweetheart, you're not unlikable. - Thank you. -亲你不讨人嫌 -谢谢You just seem unlikable. 你只是看起来讨人嫌But if we work on it, it's totally fixable. 但如果我们努把力问题就能解决How? How, Phil? How are we gonna "Work on it"? 怎么解决菲尔我们怎么"努把力"First of all, lose the snippy attitude. 首先收收你这脾气And I don't know--maybe we could have a mock debate. 然后要不我们来个模拟辩论吧Oh. Good idea. 好主意That way, mom can rehearse her views on the issues. 这样一来妈就可以演练一下发表政见了Yeah, and we can point out all the little things 是啊而且我们可以帮她指出she does that turn people off. 不讨选民喜欢的小细节Like that look. I would lose that look. 比如这副表情你得改改Spooky, but better. 看得我发毛不过好多了All right. Thank you very much. 好的非常感谢Hey, Lily! Come here, honey! 嘿莉莉快过来宝贝Hi! Do you know what this is? 嗨你知道这是什么吗A box. 是盒子- Containing? -She doesn't know "containing." -里面有啥 -她不懂"里面"这个词Well, that's how she learns new words, by us using them. 就得这样教她新词汇言传身教Or, that's how we lower her self-esteem, 你连珠炮似地说出超难词汇by bombarding her with confusing vocabulary. 这也可能打击她的自尊啊What's the box containing? 盒子里面有什么Told you. 说了吧Okay. It's your dress. 好吧是你的裙子It's finally here! 终于送到了It's every little girl's dream 每个小女孩都梦想着to be a flower girl in a wedding. 成为婚礼上的花童It's Lily's chance to shine. 这是莉莉大放异彩的机会I was a 3-time ring bearer. 我做过三次捧戒指的戒童It's lily's chance to shine. 这是莉莉大放异彩的机会Pretty! 真漂亮Oh, no, Cam-- 哦不小卡Cam, she's gonna look like little bo peep. 小卡穿这身她会像牧羊女小波波Or little bo cheap. 或是牧羊女穷波波Look at this fabric. It's already pilling. 看这料子都已经起毛球了Maybe it look better on? 试试吧可能会好点儿You mean turned on? 你是说试试开灯吗No, it does not--Cam! 不不行小卡啊I love it! 我喜欢No, you don't. 不不喜欢Oh, my gosh. Are we really gonna let her wear this? 我的天我们真的要给她穿这个吗You know what? If the bride wants to have a tacky wedding, 如果新娘想来场俗气婚礼She can have a tacky wedding. 就让她俗气去吧- Lily will be the bright spot. - Literally. -咱家莉莉就成亮点了 -够亮的Heard it as soon as I said it. 说出来就后悔了Stella! 斯黛拉Where's my good girl? 我的小乖乖呢Gloria, is stella up there? 歌洛莉亚斯黛拉在楼上吗No. But I am. 不在但我在Why don't you say "hello" your wife when you come home?你回家怎么不跟自己老婆打招呼呢Well, why don't you greet me at the door, wagging your tail?那你怎么不在门口摇着尾巴迎接我呢Stella, honey! Where are you? 斯黛拉宝贝你在哪儿Stella! 斯黛拉My baby! 我的宝贝啊Stella, I'm coming! I'm coming! 斯黛拉我来啦我来啦You okay? You okay? 你没事吧没事吧Why are you swimming in your clothes? 你怎么穿着衣服游泳啊Because I'm self-conscious about my body. 身材太差不好意思穿泳裤出来秀Stella fell in the pool. 斯黛拉掉进池子里了It's my fault. I let her out, 都是我不好我放她出来and then I got caught up in my couponing. 然后我忙着弄优惠券走不开Any coupons for swim lessons? 有游泳课的优惠券吗'Cause Stella needs some. 斯黛拉得学学Seriously? Manny you teach to swim 有没搞错啊你教曼尼学游泳by throwing him in the pool, 就是把他扔水里自己扑腾but the dog gets swimming lessons? 却让狗去参加游泳班I gotta say, it was unpleasant but effective. 我得说那么学虽然痛苦但很有效We have to teach Stella how to swim. 我们必须教会斯黛拉游泳Otherwise, she could drown. 不然她会淹死的Why don't you teach her not to jump in the pool? 你为啥不教她别往池子里跳呢She didn't jump in the pool. She fell in the pool. 她不是跳下去的她是掉下去的Why, suddenly, would she jump in the pool 如果她不会游泳when she doesn't know how to swim? 怎么会突然跳进池子呢Why does she bark at the vacuum? 那她为什么冲着吸尘器叫呢It's a thing. It is never going to play with you. 吸尘器是个东西永远不会跟你玩的Are you saying that Stella is stupid? 你是说斯黛拉蠢吗Are you covering her ears? 你这是捂着她耳朵吗Let's have a little compassion. 有点儿同情心好吧She's probably still traumatized from her near-death experience. 她刚死里逃生还心有余悸呢Again? What's happening?! 又来了搞什么啊Ay, no! 别Welcome, candidates. Mrs. Dunphy... 欢迎两位候选人邓菲太太Thank you for having me. 感谢给我这个机会And councilman Bailey. 还有贝利议员Gosh, thank you so much, Alex. 谢谢你艾丽克斯I'm deeply honored to be here, 很荣幸能站在这里and I remain, as ever, a humble servant 我将一如既往地为人民服务to the greatest little town 为我们最伟大的小镇in the greatest darn-- 在这最棒的Eye-rolling. 翻白眼Playful eye rolling. 我翻着玩儿的How do we, as voters, know it's playful? I would avoid it. 我们选民哪会知道你是玩儿我觉得这不好Okay. No eye rolling. 好不翻白眼And don't purse your lips like that. 而且别这么抿嘴It makes you look annoyed. 看起来像生气了And don't touch your face. 而且别摸脸Yeah, no face touching. Seems nervous. 是啊别摸脸这样显得紧张Some of this is subjective. 你们这太主观了- What? What now? - Anger. -又怎么了 -你发脾气了It looks like you're scolding us. 你似乎在指责我们I will keep my hands at my sides. 那我这么叉着腰吧Not on your hips. You're not superman. 别叉屁股上你不是超人Can we get started? 我们能开始了吗We haven't started? 我们还没开始吗I've prepared some questions. 我准备了些问题Oh, goody! Actual questions. 哦太好了还真有问题- Honk. Sarcasm. - Just go. -喇叭警告讽刺 -赶紧提问吧Okay, Mrs. Dunphy, 好吧邓菲夫人why are you running for local office? 您为什么要竞选镇议员呢Okay, that's, um, that's good. 好吧那个问得很好I... um, I-- 我那个我Mom, you really shouldn't stutter 老妈你应该把这些基本问题over a basic question like that. 准备得滚瓜烂熟才行You should at least know why you're running. 至少你得搞清自己竞选的理由I thought the moderator was supposed to be objective. 主持人不是应该持中立态度吗Not if she's the only one in the room 谁让我是这里唯一who has actual debate experience. 有过辩论经验的人Now why are you running? 再问一次为什么参选I saw the need for a stop sign in-- 我发现这个社区需要一个停车路标Liar! 骗子Phil! 菲尔I-I just think you should be ready for anything. 我觉得你要准备好应付各种突发状况I saw the need for a s-- 我发现这个社区需要一个What? 怎么了Sorry. Accidental buzz. 不好意思手滑了一下I saw the need for a stop sign in my neighborhood, 我发现这个社区需要一个停车路标and although I collected the necessary signatures 但即使我收集了必须的区民签名支持and did the paperwork, I found local government 并将之付诸于书面文件我发现镇政府to be entirely unhelpful-- 还是无视此事- When--what? - Too long. I'm bored. -当我又怎么了 -句子太长让我觉得无聊Yeah, next question. I feel like I'm in school. 对下个问题吧感觉跟上课似的Some say the political system is bogged down 有人认为我们的政治体制by ideological hard-liners 就是被一些思想强硬派的unwilling to compromise. 不妥协政策给拖了后腿How would you respond to that, councilman Bailey? 贝利议员您如何回应这种说法I would like to use my lifeline. 我得求救了I'll take this. 我来回答If elected, I would consider all perspectives, 如果我当选我会尊重各方观点and I would not ignore opposing viewpoints. 而且绝不会无视反对意见Helicopter. Just keep going. 救援直升机来了你继续I would consider all perspectives, 我会尊重各方观点- and I wouldn't ignore opposing-- - You suck! -而且绝不会无视反对 -下去吧Luke! 卢克You have to be ready for hecklers. 你得准备好应付起哄者He's right. 没错Okay. I'm doing over. No buzzing. 好的从头再来不准打断If elected, I-- 如果我当选我- What? - Too close to the mic. -又怎么了 -离麦克风太近了Phil, it's a hairbrush. 菲尔这是个梳子Okay. 好吧If elected, I would consider all opinions 如果我当选我会尊重各方观点and not ignore those of the opposition, 而且绝不会无视反对意见as councilman Bailey has done for six terms. 绝不会步贝利议员六届任期施政的后尘What? That was a great answer. 又怎么了我回答得多棒Well, I couldn't hear it 好吧我听不下去了because you were showing me the bad side of your face. 因为你把不好看的半边脸面向了观众I have a bad side? 我有半边脸不好看吗- Yeah, the left. - No. It's the right. -对左半边 -不对是右半边Uh, dad, it's totally the left. I mean, look at it. 老爸绝对是左半边好吧你自己看看Sweetheart, why do you think I chose my side of the bed? 宝贝我选择睡左边是有道理的Okay! Okay. Thank you. 好吧谢谢你们了Thank you, family. This has been super-duper helpful. 谢谢我亲爱的家人们你们真是帮了我一个大忙Hands, lips, sarcasm, eye-rolling, 手势嘴唇讽刺翻白眼wrong side of the face. 不好看的半边脸Oh, yeah. Now I see it. 哦对我发现了Yep. 的确是左边She's ready. 她准备好了And it's this, 像这样and it's this. 像这样Not this, 不是这样but this. 是这样- Okay. Okay, that's good, Cam. -And this. -好了够了小卡 -还有这样Save--let's save some petals for Lily, all right? 留点留点花瓣给女儿吧Okay. Let's do it over here, sweetheart. 好乖女儿过来- Right over here. - Okay. -到这边来 -好的There you go. Oh, like you're coming down the aisle! 对了就像你走向婚礼的圣坛Not too many at once. That's good. 一次别洒太多不错Okay. You're doing great, lil. 很好你做得很好乖女儿Oh, she is, isn't she? 噢她太棒了Forget the bride. All the eyes are gonna be on her. 谁看新娘啊咱闺女才是瞩目的焦点I cannot believe you laughed! 我不敢相信你居然笑出来了I am sorry. But you know I have two weaknesses-- 抱歉但你知道我有两个软肋笑点children cursing and old people rapping. 小孩爆粗口老人唱饶舌Cam, we have to tell her it's a bad word. 小卡我们得告诉她那词不好No. That just gives it more power. 不行那样更会让她觉得那词作用巨大The less we make of it, the better. 我们越不提起这事越好Let's just pretend like it never happened. 我们就装作什么都没发生Okay. Yeah, maybe it-- maybe it didn't. 好吧或许或许什么都没发生Maybe we--maybe we misheard. 或许是我们听错了Yeah. Maybe she said "Truck." 对或许她说的是"草"Or--or "Duck." 或者"擦"Or "Luck." She could have said "Yuck." 或者"菜" 她有可能说的是"策"Daddy, can I have some ice cream? 爸爸我能吃冰淇淋吗No, honey, if you're hungry, you can have some fruit. 不宝贝儿如果你饿了可以吃点水果Fruit? . 水果I have two children. 我有俩孩子要教育啊Phil? Phil, is this televised? 菲尔这是要上电视吗I didn't tell you because I didn't want to make you nervous. 我没告诉你是不想让你紧张Great plan. Really good plan. 好主意真是个好主意啊Throw me for a curveball at the last minute. 最后时刻给我来个措手不及Mom, chill. It's just public access. 别紧张妈只是公共频道My debate team's on public access, 我们的辩论比赛也上公共频道and the only people who watch me are you guys. 只有你们才会看而已Yep. All the time. 对每次都看So maybe nobody will see this? 所以或许没人会看这个No. We want people to see this. 不我们想让大家看到这个That's how you win elections. That's the whole point. 这样你才能当选被人熟知才是关键Then mom should do something so crazy and stupid. 那老妈应该做些疯狂愚蠢的事- It goes viral. - Mom, please don't go viral. -可以做网络红人 -妈千万别做网络红人Okay. I'll add that to my list of things not to do-- 好的我会把这个加进严禁事宜中Don't touch my face, don't roll my eyes, 别碰脸别翻白眼don't point my fingers, 别指点江山and definitely don't go viral. 还有绝对不做网络红人Do any of you still believe in me? 你们还有谁对我有点信心的Of course we do. We're on your side. 我们当然相信你我们站在你这边The right side. 是右半边Not the left. 不是左边Let's grab a seat. 我们去找个座位Right. Left. 右边左边Okay. Mom, just be confident. 好了妈要有自信Based on what? I just lost a debate in my living room, 凭什么自家客厅的辩论我都输了and people think I'm unlikable. 而且大家觉得我讨人嫌That's just the word men use for powerful women 这是男人针对女强人的专用词because they feel threatened. 因为他们感觉受到威胁So just forget everything else and be proud and powerful. 所以忘掉一切强势不屈舍我其谁How did you get so smart? 你怎么这么聪明I've always assumed adoption or baby switch. 可能我是领养的或是在医院抱错了Hey. Hey. No kisses! 注意不能亲吻Proud and powerful. 强势不屈舍我其谁- Sorry. - And no apologizing. -抱歉 -也不能道歉Yes! Shut up and get in there! 对闭嘴赶紧进去That's more like it! 这就对了Yeah! 对Oh, god. 天哪There she is. 她来了- Go get 'em, Claire. -Thanks. -搞定他们克莱尔 -多谢支持Don't worry. We're going to cheer for you 别担心我们会给你助威的no matter what you say. 不管你说了什么Oh, good. More support from my loving family. 真好来自亲爱家人的更多支持Honk. Sarcasm. 喇叭警告讽刺Why'd you bring Stella? 你怎么把斯黛拉带来了She keeps getting out and jumping in the pool. 她总是往屋外跑然后往泳池里跳We don't wanna take any chances because she can't swim. 我们可不能冒险把她留在家里她不会游泳Then why does she keep jumping in the pool? 那她为啥还老往泳池里跳I've been thinking about it. I got a theory. 我一直在想这个问题我有个想法She might be suicidal. 她可能有自杀倾向What? That's crazy. 什么这也太疯狂了吧There's not such thing as doggy suicide. 这世上就没什么狗狗自杀一说Hi. Duane Bailey. 你好我是杜恩·贝利Sorry. I couldn't help but overhear. 抱歉我无意中听到你们谈话In addition to being a public servant, 我除了是人民公仆之外I'm also an award-winning breeder of puggles. 还是一名获奖哈巴小猎犬饲养者I've won the Puggly. Twice. 我赢过最佳猎犬奖两次哟And I'm afraid that doggy suicide 我恐怕狗狗自杀是is all too real. 确有其事的It's just the mainstream media doesn't report on it, 只不过主流媒体不报道罢了'cause it's not as sexy as feline A.I.D.S. 因为不像猫艾滋那么火爆Stella is not suicidal. She's just... estupid. 斯黛拉没有自杀倾向她就是比较脑残Well, that might be part of your problem. 那或许就是您的问题了She senses you don't like her. 她能感觉到你不喜欢她You have no idea. 你根本想不到This one's been against this little angel 从这个小天使踏进我们家门起from the very beginning. 这位就没消停过Yeah, well, dogs pick up on that. 没错狗狗会注意到的You know, they're very sensitive. 他们很敏感的I like to call them, um... 我喜欢叫他们Bottomless pits of need. 填不满的情感无底洞But not to their face, though. 但不能当他们的面说That would just destroy them. 那样太伤他们感情了Not you. 不是说你哟So now this is my fault? 那这么说是我的错啦I think he knows what he's talking about. 我想他知道自己在说什么The man won a puggly. 人家可是赢过一个最佳猎犬奖的- Two. I won two pugglies. - We're done here. -两个我赢过两个 -我们说完了- In 2000- - Yeah. -在2000年和 -是是Do you have any idea what station this is on? 你知道是哪个台播吗Here, I'll look online. 我上网查查[上网看]It's a webcast? That would have been helpful to know 是网络广播你早点说我就不用900 channels ago. 摁过九百个频道了No, it's on public access or something. 不是那是个公共频道之类的I wanna watch aunt claire! 我要看克莱尔姑妈Okay. Well, first, honey, we need to talk about something. 行但是首先宝贝我们得谈谈It's about that word you said this morning. 关于你早上说的那个词What word? 什么词You know, the one that starts with "F"? 你知道就是那个以F开头的那个词- "Flower"? - No. -花花 -不是- "Fruit"? - No. -果果 -不是If she doesn't remember it, we shouldn't remind her. 如果她记不起来了我们干嘛要提醒她Oh, well, she said it three times. 因为她说了三遍呢Oh, you mean. 哦你是说Cam, leave the room! 小卡出去No. I can do this. 不用我能忍住Lily, that is a bad word, 莉莉那是个不好的词and you are not allowed to say it ever. 而且你永远也不能再说这个词But it makes you laugh. 但能把你逗笑呀Okay, well, daddy shouldn't be laughing, 其实爸爸不应该笑的and you should never say that word. 你也永远不应该说那个词Do you understand? 明白没Maybe. 或许吧Okay. This is not a game, all right? 好吧这可不是什么游戏好吗If you say that word one more time, 如果你再说一遍那个词I'm gonna take away all your toys! 我就把你的玩具都没收I'm serious! She knows I'm not serious. 我认真的她知道我不是认真的What about the wedding? 那婚礼怎么办What if she says it there? 如果她在那说怎么办She's like a ticking time bomb! 她就像是个定时炸弹-Well, what are we gonna do, cancel? - Yes. -那我们怎么办取消吗 -没错Maybe we just call and say, 我们就这么说"We're not going to any more weddings 直到同性婚姻合法化否则until the gays can get married." 我们不参加任何婚礼Oh, so now we're political? 得咱们改走政治路线了We leave town on gay pride weekend 就因为不喜欢交通太拥挤because we don't like the traffic. 连"同志骄傲"游行周末我们都会离开But there's no substitute for experience. 但是经验的作用是无可替代的For example, I doubt my opponent is familiar 举例来说我怀疑我的对手with town ordinance 26-12b... 是否熟悉镇法26-12b26-12b has to do with noise pollution-- 26-12b是关于噪声污染的Something, sir, that you are guilty of right now. 也就是您先生现在正造出的哟Oh, no she di'int! 她怎么这么牛掰Go, mom! 加油老妈Ladies and gentlemen... 女士们先生们Look at her eyes. 看看她的眼睛I know. They're a little too close together. 我知道确实有点斗鸡眼It's been bugging me for years. 已经烦了我好多年了No, she's in the zone. 不是她现在状态正佳She's ready for anything. 她已经万事俱备了I do like to talk... about the issues. 我是很想谈谈谈谈问题Speaking of issues, 说起问题哈your husband seems to have some. 您先生好像有一些问题I'm sorry? 抱歉I'm not sorry. What? 我不抱歉什么Oh, well, I wouldn't want to bring it up, 其实我本不愿提起的but since you asked, um... 不过既然你问了In february of last year, your husband, 在去年的二月份您先生one, uh, Phillip Dunphy, was questioned at a local hotel 菲利普·邓菲因为猥亵和淫荡行为for lewd and lascivious conduct. 在一家本地酒店被质询Oh, jeez. 老天That's not true. 没这回事Ma'am, according to this police report, 夫人根据这份警方报告he, uh, broke into a stranger's room, 他闯进陌生人的房间stripped naked... 全裸的and then posed provocatively on the bed. 在床上摆出了暗含性欲的姿势That is technically true, 从理论上来说是这样的but in all fairness, it was valentine's day. 但是公平来说那天是情人节Oh! Oh, I'm so sorry. It was valentine's day. 我太抱歉了那天是情人节呀I'm not sure, uh, 我不太清楚if your husband was born in this country. 您先生是不是生在这个国家Perhaps he snuck in illegally, 也许他是非法移民吧but here in America, we celebrate valentine's day 但是在美国呢我们在情人节这天with chocolates, 送人巧克力not our private parts. 不是送人小鸡鸡This is my new favorite show. 这是我现在最爱的秀了No, sir, 不是的先生he was looking for me, his wife, 他那时是在找我他的妻子and he walked into the wrong room. 但是他走错了房间If you believe that, 如果你们相信的话I have some talking puggles I'd like to sell you. 我有些会说话的哈巴小猎犬很乐意卖给你们Do you believe this? 你相信吗Talking dogs? I'm skeptical. 会说话的狗我很怀疑- I won the puggly. Twice. - Be strong. -我赢过最佳猎犬奖两次 -强硬I am glad that my opponent brought this up, 我很高兴我的对手提起这事as I feel that it speaks to his character more than mine. 比起对我的了解大家从中更能了解到他的人品I think that we should raise the level of discourse 我认为现在应该把讨论提升一个档次and get back to the issues 回到那些我们的选民that the voters really care about. 真正关心的问题上来When he was naked, what were you wearing? 当他裸着的时候你穿的什么I... don't think that's relevant. 我我认为这与本次辩论无关Are you sex freaks? 你是性变态吗My personal life has nothing to do with this. 我的个人生活和这次辩论毫无关系Uh--the--my opponent has brought this up 我的对手提起这事就是为了to distract from his own record, 把公众注意力从他的政绩上转移which shows that in--in six years, 因为他在六年的时间里he has achieved nothing more than writing one ordinance 除了制定一项"允许私人派对上that allows private parties to have more than eight dogs.出现八条以上的狗"的条令之外一无所成It's like watching the "Hindenburg." 简直就跟目睹兴登堡惨案一样This is the most horrible thing I've ever seen in my life. 这是我这辈子见过的最悲惨的事情了- Excuse me! - Stand by. -抱歉 -还有更惨的I am Phil Dunphy, and I am not a pervert. 我就是菲尔·邓菲而且我不是变态I, like a lot of men in this town, 我和这镇子里很多的男士一样enjoy making love to my wife. 喜欢和我老婆滚床单I mean, um... I mean with their wives. 我是说和他们各自的老婆滚Not me, them. 各滚各的Look, I should probably just sit down and say nothing. 听着或许我应该只是坐在那里默不作声But it's too late. 但是为时已晚I am standing, and I'm obviously talking, 我已经站起来了很显然我也在说话and now you're looking at me, 而现在你们也都盯着我看and I feel the need to keep going. 我就感觉我应该继续说下去First of all... 首先一点no charges were filed. 没有书面的正式起诉Everyone had a good laugh-- 大家一笑而过about the situation, not--not about me. 觉得挺滑稽不是说笑话我Everything's fine down there. 我"硬件"正常得很Anywho... 总之Where were we? 说到哪了All over YouTube. 红遍了YouTube啊We went viral. 还是做了网络红人Some sick bastard auto-tuned me. 不知道哪个狗杂种给我弄了个电音版I... 俺like a lot of men 和这镇子里like a lot of men 公共频道浪里浪电音版 164342次浏览in this town 很多的男士一样I enjoy making love to my wife--wife 俺跟媳妇下不了床不了床And I don't know how to stop. 俺这永动机特别夯I am a pervert. 一副浪荡模样Pervert--per-- 浪里格浪Jay! Manny! 杰曼尼We should have been there already! 我们早就该到那了Gloria, I'm tying my tie! 歌洛莉亚我正系领带呢I'm accessorizing! 我穿戴搭配呢And I thought I was the woman. 原来家里我最爷们儿The door. 忘关门了Ay! Estella, no! No! 喂斯黛拉别啊Ay! No! No! 别啊别动Estella, don't do it! Don't kill yourself! 斯黛拉别想不开别自寻短见啊You are a perfectly fine dog! 你是个超级棒的狗狗I don't hate you! 我不讨厌你Estella, okay, I was a little mean to you, 斯黛拉好吧我对你是有点刻薄but that's no reason to kill yourself! 但你也不至于寻死啊You are young! 小年轻啊You still have so much left to smell! 花花世界还有很多"闻"所未"闻"呢Ay! 不I am--I go! 我我来了I'm coming! 等着我I'm--Manny! 我曼尼Ay! Come on, Estella! 坚持住斯黛拉- What happened? - Are you okay? -咋回事 -你还好吗She did it again. 她又跳了- And you jumped in to save her? - No, Jay! -然后你湿身救它了 -不是啊I wanted to take a little swim before going to the wedding! 我就是赶在婚礼前小游一下啊Get her a towel. She's shaking like a leaf. 给她条浴巾冻得直哆嗦Oh, no, no, I meant-- 不不不我意思是- I meant-- - Thank you, Jay. -您请用 -谢你八辈儿祖宗The dog towel for me. 我就配条狗浴巾For the wife. 我可是你老婆啊Hi! 你们好Hey, guys. Hi. 你们好啊Hi. Hey, what's shaking? What's cooking? 好啊有啥新鲜事没You saw the debate, didn't you? 你们看了辩论了吧The de-what? No, that wasn't-- 辩啥那不是在That was today? No, no. Was that on today? 今天吗是今天吧Oh, I didn't remember. 我忘了You are the worst liars. 扯谎也下点功夫好吗It was phenomenal television. 辩论实在太精彩了Oh, Lily. 莉莉What a... 多么那啥的Dress. 裙子啊Oh, well, you ain't seen nothing yet. 这才哪儿跟哪儿啊How about there... we go. 开开眼走着Yikes. She looks like a lite brite. 我去跟"点阵画图"似的Luke, honey. 卢克亲爱的Lily, sweetie, are you excited to be a flower girl? 莉莉宝贝儿做花童兴奋吗Yeah? 是吧Little bit nervous? 有点小紧张Yeah? 是吧Why isn't she talking to me? Did she see the debate, too? 她为什么不理我她也看了辩论是吧Nope, she's on verbal lockdown. 没她被和谐了- Oh? - She's been dropping a certain curse word all day. -咋了 -她整天嘴里都吧唧一个脏字Mm. Yeah. Yeah, so we're just hoping 就是这情况我们希望她the next one doesn't happen during the wedding. 别在婚礼上口无遮拦If it does, it'll be the second most embarrassing thing 要是没拦住她就是咱家今天to happen to our family today. 丢死人不偿命小组的二把手了Phil, you said it wasn't that bad. 菲尔你说没那么糟糕的That was in the car. We're in a church now. 车上飞机满嘴跑教堂不敢瞎胡闹Honey... 亲爱的Somebody turn her off. I think I'm having a seizure. 来个人把她"灭"了吧慎得慌Oh, buddy. 可怜孩子Oh, good. I thought that we were going to miss Lily. 还好还以为会看不到莉莉登场呢Ships at sea wouldn't miss Lily. Where have you guys been? 海船都能看到她这座灯塔你们去哪儿了I had to jump in the pool to save the stupid dog... 我跳进泳池里救那条傻狗Who she loves. 她爱得深沉That I didn't let her down doesn't mean that I love her. 救了她不代表我爱她I barely got Manny back in the pool "负鼠事件"后我都很少after that possum incident. 让曼尼下水了I thought it drowned, 我以为它溺水了but turns out it was just playing possum. 但结果负鼠只是诈死Yes, papi. 没错宝贝Good job! 好样的You know what the worst part of today was? 知道今天最失败的是哪部分吗I imagine it's hard to choose. 好难抉择啊When everything was melting down, 那就是当一切一点点搞砸时I realized I had an answer to your question, 我终于想到你问题的答案了why I was running. 为什么竞选那题I wanted to make my family proud, 我想要一家子为我骄傲。