中西方不同的友谊
对于中国人而言，真正的友谊可以经得住生活变故的考验。
即使有20年都没能说话，那也是朋友。
如果你曾经和朋友们分享过快乐，那么你们会是一辈子的朋友。
这是一种最好的关系，互联网让中式友谊没有时空的限制。
在比尔·盖茨出生前，中国人就发明了网络。
在北美，即使之前关系亲密无间的朋友，也可能会因为搬家到另一个城市，从大学毕业，家庭经济状况发生变化，或者是结婚而终止了友谊。
如果人们不能经常看到对方，那么朋友关系也可能会消失。
友谊的建立有不同的基础，其中的共同点是：一个任务，一个班级，一个家乡。
友谊建立在那些一起工作或者一起上学的伙伴之间。
你可能喜欢或者不喜欢某个人，但是如果他或者她能够凭借自己的职位和工作为你做一些事，那么你们也可以是朋友。
但是在北美，生意和友谊是分开的。
友谊通常是和某个特别的活动有关系。
一个人也学有工作朋友，或者娱乐活动的朋友。
当然，朋友们间的经济水平也在同一水平上，因为西方的友谊是建立在平等的基础上的。
朋友间应该能够参与彼此的活动，给予对方类似的东西。
如果一个人能够支付起请朋友去昂贵餐厅吃饭的费用，而另一个人却没有足够的钱回请，那么这样的友谊会产生问题。
西方人希望朋友间是相互独立的。
因为有了这样的独立意识，对于朋友间一方给予多，另一方难以对等给予的这种关系，他们觉得这种友谊会令人不舒服。
他们的友谊更多意味着相互给予对方精神上的支持，一起度过一段时间。
一个西方人在回应朋友的求助时，常会问：“你想怎么做？”帮助朋友的办法是思考问题，寻求他或者她确实需要的解决办法，并且支持对方那么去做。
中国人给予朋友更多具体的帮助。
他或者她可能会利用自己的关系帮助朋友取得不容易得到的东西，比如一份工作，约见一位好医生。
中国人可能会在经济上给予相互的帮助，比如给对方金钱帮助他或者她度过难关。
中国人期望得到朋友更多的帮助。
在西方，你可以问朋友是否可以为你做点什么，但是你会发现他们可能会说不，他或者她可能会给你一个理由。
你不会指望一个朋友放下手头的事情陪你做些不要紧的事情，比如购物。
也不会期待在你没有跟他们表明的情况下，了解和回应你的愿望。
一个中国朋友当你遇到困难时，会主动伸出援助之手。
你对朋友的期望的限制很少。
你可以随时告诉你的朋友他或者她应该怎么来帮助你或者让你高兴。
Chinese expect friendships to be more lasting.For Chinese a true friendship endures throughout life changes. Chinese are friends even if they haven't spoken for 20 years.If you shared something at one time, then all your life you are friends.This is the best of relationship, the Wide Web that connects Chinese through time and space.Chinese invented the Internet long before Bill Gates was born.
In North America, even the relationship in which people feel close and tell each other personal problems may not survive life changes such as moving to another city, graduation from a university, a change in economic circumstances, or marriage.
If the people do not see each other regularly, the relationship is likely to die.
Different foundations for friendships Chinese friends share "things in common": a task, a class, the hometown.Friendships are formed by people who work or go to school together.You may or may not like the person, but if he or she can do something for you because of his position or job, you can be friends.
But in North America, business and friendship are kept separate. The friendships are usually tied to specific activities.A person may have work friends and leisure activity friends.Also friends tend to have similar financial circumstances, because friendship in the west is based on equality.
Friends should exchange similar activities and give similar things to each other.If one can afford to treat the other to a meal at an expensive restaurant and the other does not have enough money to do the same, it will cause problems in the relationship.
Westerns expect friends to be independent.Western people prefer people to be independent, so they do not feel comfortable in a relationship in which one person is giving more and the other is dependent on what is giving.
Their friendship is mostly a matter of providing emotional support and spending time together.A westerner will respond to a friend's trouble by asking "What do you want to do?"
The idea is to help the friend to think out the problem and discover the solution he or she really wants and then to support the solution.
Chinese friends give each other more concrete help. A Chinese will use personal connections to help a friend get something hard to obtain such as a job, or an appointment with a good doctor.Chinese friends give each other money and might help each other out financially over a long time.
Chinese usually expect more from their friends.
In the West, you can certainly ask friend to do something with you, but you recognize that your friend may say no, if he/she gives you a reason.
You would not expect a friend to drop everything to respond to a non-urgent need such as shopping.Nor would you expect a friend to recognize and respond to your wishes without stating them.
A friend in China is someone who offers help without waiting to be asked. There are few limits to what you can expect from a friend.You can feel free to tell your friend what he/she can or should do to help or please you.。