Marriage Customs: China vs. USA[Abstract] There exist many differences between American and Chinese Wedding customs. Meanwhile there are some things in common between them and they are integrating continually in contemporary society.[Key Words] marriage custom; differences; common; integrationFor a person, Marriage is the combination of two persons. But for the whole society, it reflects the social thoughts, ethics and cultures of a certain period. Marriage is not only the important content of contemporaries, but also our rich cultural heritage and another clue of our modern life. After the reform and opening up of china, American and Chinese culture are integrated increasingly though their constant impact. And they are drawing with each other. Analyzing and discussing the life event will help us better understand the similarities and differences between Chinese and American cultures and make cross-cultural communication more smoothly.There exist many differences between American and Chinese wedding customs. Meanwhile there are some things in common between them and they are integrating continually in contemporary society. Because of that, the most direct and effective way to understand the cultural similarities and differences between the two countries is to focus on their traditional marriage customs.China and USA belong to different cultures and ideologies, so the difference is obvious.Americans emphasize the feelings about their marriage: unrestrained contact, choosing a spouse freely and free love. Generally, love between men and women do not need matchmakers, and their parents rarely intervened. Emphasis on sexual love is their concept of love. They believe that they don’t need to know too much about each other. Because beautiful appearance, strong body, sexy temptation are sufficient to constitute the basis of feelings.But Chinese are relatively conservative and old-fashioned. This is because of the feudal ethics of two thousand years. In ancient China, people have to comply with feudal patriarchate and the feudal ethics. In ancient china "men and women are notallowed to get close to each other” is very popular. The feudal ruling class and vigorously promote "women shall never step out of the house". They emphasize the virgin character strongly. So many girls are always "kept in boudoirs and not known by anyone else". The marriage between men and women should abide by "no matchmaking no marriage". Naturally, “to get married in compliance with the ideas of the parents and the matchmak ers” is the main symbol of legal marriages. Marriage without matchmakers will be consider illegal and not be recognized by society. In the ancient times, it is general that the man requests a matchmaker to propose to the woman’s family. Under the same cond itions, it is not appropriate that the woman propose to the man’s family.However, on the traditional marriage ceremony, marriage customs in the United States is not simple than that in China. There is some complicated etiquette in Chinese traditional marriage customs, such as the "three books and six rites". The so-called “three books “refers to Letters of appointment, Gift books and The bridal books. The “six rites " refers to Offering presents ,Asking names, Divining an auspicious wedding day, Sending trousseau, Suggestion of a date for the wedding and Welcoming the bride. In Chinese, they are called Na Cai, Wen Ming, Na Ji, Na Zheng, Qing Qi, Ying Qin.When everything is ready, the wedding will go to the climax of the wedding - to welcome the bride. The most typical tool is sedan. In Chinese, it is called “ba tai da jiao”. It will be carried by four people or eight people. At that time, the sedan will follow a band, which beats drums and blows trumpets all the way. It makes the scene lively very much. The purpose of this behavior is to make the people of the neighboring villages aware of the marriage. Only in this way, the wedding can be considered as formal marriage.After the bride get home, there is a very important ceremony. In Chinese, it is called “Bai Tang”. Only after that, the newly-wed can be recognized as a husband and wife and the marriage can be established. “Bai Tang” is also called “Bai Tian Di”. This is a Chinese ethics which reflects the great significance of etiquette system at that time.From this we can know Chinese culture is complicated. But it is not Chinese peculiar characteristics of weddings. In fact, different countries have different marriage customs. But from the complicated details and the figurative meaning of the wedding supplies, we can see that there is no national boundary on people’s respect and expectations for marriage.In the west，the wedding highlights four features. They are new, old, borrowed, and blue. The so-called "new" refers to the bride will wear a new white dress to show the beginning of a new life; "old" refers to the bride's white veil must be the old (typically used when her mother married) to show she will not forget the kindness of her parents; "borrowed" refers to the bride's handkerchief is borrowed from her girlfriends. This shows she will never forget friendship; "blue" refers to the bride wears the blue ribbon. This means she has won the sincere love.In the course of the wedding, the west has a lot of customs. For example, the bride always brings a handkerchief. Because Westerners think white handkerchief is a symbol of good luck. In the wedding ceremony, the bride is always standing on the left of the groom. During the wedding dinner, it is necessary to have a wedding cake .The western wedding is romantic. Usually, a religious wedding ceremony will be held in a church. It is conducted by a minister or priest. The bride usually wears a long beautiful white wedding dress, and her face is covered in a white veil. It makes the wedding solemn and serious. A traditional wedding ceremony begins with the bridesmaids and ushers walking slowly down a center aisle to the altar. They stand on each side of the altar throughout the ceremony. The groom and his best man enter and stand with the minister, facing the audience, waiting for the bride at the altar. When the “wedding march” is played, the bride’s attendants enter. The maid of honor enters first, and then the flower girls. The bride is always the last to enter, and she comes usually with her father, who gives her away at the altar. The young couple repeat their vows at the altar. Traditionally, they promise to love each other “for better, for worse, for richer, for poor, in sickness and in health.” Then the groom puts a gold wedding ring on the ring finger o f the bride’s left hand, and the bride also gives the groom a ring. Finally the minister announces the bid moment: “I now pronounce you man andwife. You may kiss your bride!” the wedding kiss not only signals the completion of the ceremony, but symbolizes the change of the state of the bride. When he lifts her veil to touch her lips, the husband announces in fact that he accepts her as his wife.The ceremony usually last no more than 45 minutes. When the ceremony is finished, the bride and groom will join hands and walked out of church in music, other people have to throw rice, rose petals and confetti to bless them.In the end of the wedding, the bride will throw it to all female guests. The girl who receives the flowers will be the next bride. And then, the whole wedding will be ended in cheers.Different from the western romance, Chinese people always like the scene of bustle and excitement. The wedding's main color is red which is the traditional representative color of festivity. In the traditional wedding, the dress, the red sedan, the red double happiness, candle, invitation cards and other wedding supplies are red as fire. In addition, drums and firecrackers are essential in the traditional wedding. The nuptial chamber after banquet shows the bustling atmosphere even more.Next is the wedding banquet. According to the American custom, wedding banquet should be given by the woman's family. Unlike America, in China, the groom’s family and the bride’s family will hold a wedding banquet at their own home. The wedding banquet usually lasts several days. And according to the Chinese ancient traditions, the wedding banquet at the groom’s home is the most important. And this is applicable up to now.In the aspect of clothing, traditional Chinese wedding dress is Coronet shawl which is the symbol of good luck and indicates the days after marriage will be good. However, the western bride wears white dress. In contrast to the history of Western white wedding dress, the history of the red robes on which there is a Phoenix is relatively simple. In Chinese mythologies, the dragon and phoenix play an important role. They stand for the two opposing principles in nature separately. Therefore, a phoenix stands for the bride. We know the dragon is a symbol of evil in the west. But it is the Chinese ancient totem which is mysterious and powerful.After wedding, in America, the new couple will take a honeymoon trip. Duringthe honeymoon, the couple can spend time by themselves enjoying and getting familiar with their new status as a husband and wife. It is said that “honeymoon”comes from a custom in ancient times that a newly married couple will drink honey-wine for thirty days-a moon-after their marriage. In ancient China there is no honeymoon. But the bride has to go back to her parents’ family on the third day after wedding. That is the real ending of the wedding.Traditional Wedding customs of Americans and Chinese are probably like this. We can see that the two are quite different: Americans’ respect for the individual v s. Chinese emphasis on ethics and moral principles---family consciousness, social identity and the pursuit for reproductive function. Moreover, the distinctions of their likes and dislikes on colors, totems and the degree of complex between them are obvious. These differences are resulted in their different social concepts, morality, cultures, traditional etiquette and values.Although American and Chinese marriage customs flash different colors in many aspects, the idea of pursuit of happiness are the same. As the two countries strengthen exchanges continuously, their Marriage customs are integrating properly in sense of marriage and the form of wedding. In china, the pursuit of love is more free. And the status of men and women are basically equal. Young people are rarely constrained by the feudal ethics and their parents. Wedding and banquets are also simplified. As we all know, in contemporary, the young Chinese bride-to-be likes to wear white wedding dress to take photographs. Some people hold parties as The Wedding Banquets. Some even just go through the legal formalities of marriage without any other forms. However more and more Americans love the Chinese traditional marriage customs. And the intermarriage between Chinese and American people are becoming more and more common. From this, we can know the integration of the two cultures is inevitable. This integration is the result of cultural impact. But we should know American and Chinese cultures can not be replaced by each other. Because they have their own appeals.Bibliography[1]Li,Jianzong. 2009. Chinese folk customs on marriage and love affair. Sichuan：Sichuan People’s Press.[2]Shen,Guangyu. Hao,Han.2008. Introduce China in English. Beijing：Scientific and Technical Documents Publishing House.[3] Hao,Peng. 2004. Folk stories and customs in Britain and America. Haikou: Nanhai Publishing Corporation.[4] Bao, Zonghao. 2006. Marriage customs and Chinese traditional culture. Guilin: Guangxi Normal University Press.。