Tone & Style in Business WritingTone is the element in your writing which says something about the relationship you have with your reader/audience and the attitude you have towards the subject. The tone you adopt in your business communications is therefore very important. For example, in a business letter or spoken presentation, your tone will normally be respectful and cooperative. Your tone will reflect your position within the company.A respectful, uncertain tone is usually used with your superiors, a more commanding tone is used with your subordinates, while with your colleagues a more friendly, helpful tone is used.Style is the way you use words and expressions to achieve a certain effect or overall impression. Quite often, styles in writing can be seen as formal, neutral or informal..Achieving a tone to suit the business audienceGood readers in the business world know how to choose their words. The communication must achieve its aim or time and energy are wasted. If you want to be a good writer and speaker, good grammar and spelling are necessary but not enough. Your words must be chosen with care and tested for their suitability for each particular writing task. Good writers can write upwards, horizontal or downwards without offending their readers. They use the most suitable words for their position and particular business.The idea of tone is very important to the business communicator. Since readers can be insulted or offended not by the message but be the manner of expression, an otherwise perfect memo or letter could quite possibly cause a breakdown in communication. It is therefore important for you to be able to analyze your relationship with you readers(s) and then to choose the appropriate language and tone for your message.2008 ITS Corporate Training 1Direction of CommunicationChris Jackson is Personnel Supervisor (Recruitment and Development) in the Human resources Department of an insurance company.Chris is currently studying the case of Paul Yau, a local member of staff who he feels might be a suitable candidate for promotion. He decides to seek the opinion of other members of the Human Resource Department. Look at the list of different ways of requesting comments below: Please comment on the suitability of Paul Yau for promotion.I await your comments on the suitability of Paul Yau for promotion.I would like you to comment on the suitability of Paul Yau for promotion.Can I have you comments on the suitability of Paul Yau for promotion?Would you mind commenting on the suitability of Paul Yau for promotion?Could I possibly have your comments on the suitability of Paul Yau for promotion?Would it be possible to have your comments on the suitability of Paul Yau for promotion?I would be most grateful if I could have your comments on the suitability of Paul Yau for promotion.For a few moments, consider which of these sentences Chris should use if writing to: The Personnel Officer (Local Staff?)The Personnel Supervisor (Administration)?The Head of Training?HINT: First decide on the direction of communication for each of these 3 members of staff.(i.e. – Is it upward / downward / lateral communication?)2008 ITS Corporate Training 2Discussion:In answer to Question 1, Chris would probably use sentences (a), (b) or (c) when writing to the Personnel Officer (Local Staff). Any of them would be suitable to show downward communication, i.e. a superior contacting a subordinate. In downward communication, frequent use is made of the imperative (please c omment…..) and of statements (I would like……) rather than questions (Could I have ……?). In this way, a firm, decisive and direct tone is achieved.In Question 2, the communication is between two peers, i.e. two people of equal authority and position. The horizontal communication is best shown in sentences (d) and (e). Notice the use of question forms.In Question 3, Chris is writing to somebody above him in the company, so what we have here is an example of upward communication. Sentence (f), (g) and (h) achieve the suitably respectful, tentative tone which is required when a subordinate writes to a supervisor.Note again the use of question forms, and also that these sentences tend to be rather longer than in downward or horizontal communication.Whenever communication takes place, there are three elements to be considered.The message sender (the writer/speaker)The messageThe message receiver (the reader/listener)The message itself may be subdivided into two components:The factsThe language/tone2008 ITS Corporate Training 3Upward, Downward and Lateral Communication Upward Communication (⇑)Which sentences would you write to a superior? Choose the sentence which achieves the right tone.1 a) We shall not achieve the proposed production target.It seems that we may not achieve the proposed production target.a) Could we defer a decision until a later date?b) I want to defer a decision until a later date.a) Confirmation of this information is required as soon as possible.b) Confirmation of this information is requested as soon as possible.a) Evidence suggests that a further investigation is necessary.b) A further investigation is necessary.a) Retain these statistics for future reference.b) These statistics should be retained for future reference.Horizontal Communication (⇒)Which sentence would you write to a colleague or someone on the same level?a) I would like you to deal with this matter.b) Would you mind dealing with this matter?a) I would be grateful if you could come to my office at 10.00 am tomorrow.b) Please come to my office at 10.00 tomorrow.a) Investigate this incident immediately.b) Would you please investigate this incident immediately?a) I do not agree with your recommendation.b) I cannot agree with your recommendation.a) We must consider the introduction of a new system of stock control.b) We should consider the introduction of a new system of stock control.2008 ITS Corporate Training 4Downward Communication (⇓)a) Your recent performance has been of an unacceptable standard.b) Your recent performance has possibly been of an unacceptable standard.a) Please let me know your intended course of action.b) I would be extremely grateful if you could let me know your intended course of action.a) Is it possible for you to take charge of the orientation program?b) I would like you to take charge of the orientation program.a) Recent claims for traveling expenses have been excessive.b) I would like to suggest that recent claims for traveling expenses have been excessive.a) I look forward to receiving your response in the near future.b) I await your immediate response.2008 ITS Corporate Training 5Language ReferenceThe following expressions are commonly used when writing letters, memos and e-mails. For each sentence/phrase both the ‘Style’ (formality) and the ‘Tone’ (certainty) are noted.。