Business writing (example): no complicated expressions
We are having trouble with the five computers you recently installed. As a result, we’re returning them to you today and requesting our money back — as you agreed today on the telephone. You asked for a brief documentation of the problems we’re having, so you can tell your suppliers. Here are the main problems we had.
Unit 1 Overview of Business English Writing
Tasks
1. Writing Principles 2. Writing Features 3. Writing Process 4. Exercises
Writing Principles
1. Consideration 2. Completeness 3. Correctness 4. Concreteness 5. Conciseness 6. Clarity 7. Courtesy
Concrete a 10% reduction on April 10 80%
5. Conciseness
Conciseness means the message is expressed with brevity without sacrificing clarity or courtesy. Avoid wordy language and redundancy, or repetition.
1. Consideration
Give consideration to the business partner’s varied wishes, demand, interest and difficulties. Emphasize the “You ”attitude rather than the “ I ” or “ We ” attitude.
You’ll get a 5% discount We’ll allow you a 5%
if you pay by L/C.
discount if you pay by L/C.
2. Completeness
A business letter should contain all the necessary information and data. One may use 5 Ws to check — Who, What, When, Where, and Why.
Business writing : a. no fancy words b. no complicated expressions c. is intended to communicate information
Academic writing (example): complex structure
requested in your letter of June 6 that you requested in your letter
by air.
of June 6.
The products are not only different in quality, but also in price.
Compare the following sentences:
You-attitude
We-attitude
Congratulations to you for your success.
We want to send our congratulations to you for your success.
What the members of the What the members of the
Marketing Department need Marketing Department need
is exploration.
is exploration of the new
market.
3. Correctness
Plain writing style
Simple and familiar words Short and simple sentences Concise paragraphs, one paragraph with
one topic
Compare :
simple: ease, improve, expect complex: alleviate, ameliorate, anticipate
Euphemistic writing tone
Be courteous and sincere Avoid anger and offense Be indirect in sending unfavorable news Be non-discriminatory in language
As a third-year college student majoring in English who has already acquired a bit over ten thousand dollars in student loan debt, I find Mepherson’s rejection of National Service Plan to be short-sighted and insensitive to the experiences of many college students who are struggling to put themselves through school only to face enormous financial burdens upon graduation.
Compare the following sentences:
Redundant
There are three rules that should be observed.
Concise
Three rules should be obsetween May and July they will deliver the goods.
Correctness means proper expressions with correct grammar, punctuation and spelling, as well as appropriate tone.
Compare the following sentences:
Wrong The market investigation report meeting was held on Wednesday.
Between May and July they will deliver the goods.
6. Clarity
We should first identify what we want to express and then express the idea in plain, simple words and formats.
4. Concreteness
A letter should be specific and definite rather than vague, abstract and general.
Compare the following sentences:
Vague a substantial reduction several days later the majority
Compare:
polite: The system may automatically shut down if any installation errors occur.
impolite: You didn’t read the instructions carefully, so your system has shut down.
Compare the following sentences:
Unclear
Clear
We sent you 3 samples this
We sent you this morning, by
morning of the products that you air, 3 samples of the products
Compare the following sentences:
Incomplete
The third generation products are better.
Complete
The third generation products are better than the second generation products.
The products are different not only in quality, but also in price.
7. Courtesy
Courtesy means to show in your letters the honest friendship, thoughtful appreciation, sincere politeness, considerate understanding and heartfelt respect.
Employees want to keep their jobs they will work hard for promotions.