第十六集Unbelievable! It's been half an hour. 真是令人难以置信,已过了半个小时If this was a cartoon, you'd look like a ham now. 如果这是卡通你应该看起来像火腿一样-There's the waitress. Hello,miss! -It's Phoebe! -女侍在那儿,抱歉,小姐…等等-是菲比!-Okay,will that be all? -Wait. What are you doing here? -好的,这些就是全部啦? -等等,你来这儿干什么?I was over there. Then you said, "Hello,miss." So I'm here. 我本来在那儿,然后你叫“嗨,小姐.”所以我就过来了No,how come you're working here? 不,你怎么会在这儿工作?Because it's close to where I live, and the aprons are cute. 因为这儿离我的住处很近而且围裙也很漂亮-Can we start over? -Okay,I'm gonna be over here. -可以重来吗? -好的,我到那边去The One With Two Parts - Part l 六人行第1季第16集第17集双胞胎两部曲I don't know whether he's testing me... 我不知道它是不是在考验我... but my monkey is out of control! 我的猴子已失去控制He keeps erasing the messages on my machine. 它不断清除我答录机上的留言Supposedly by accident. 应该是个意外Oh,yeah,I've done that. 哦,是的,我做过这种事And then he got to the newspaper before I did... 它连续三天在我看报纸前...and peed all over the crossword! 在猜字游戏上尿尿I've never done that. 这我没做过Last night,I don't know what he did but there were capers everywhere! 昨晚,我不知道他做了什么他到处蹦来蹦去!-She looks exactly like her sister. -I'm saying I see a difference. -她看起来和她姐姐完全一样-我看到不同之处They're twins. 她们是双胞胎I don't care. Phoebe's Phoebe. Ursula's hot! 我不管,菲比是菲比,乌苏拉很火辣You know how we talk about things? 你知道我们怎么说这种事情?-Let's not do that anymore. -All right. -别再谈论那事了-好吧-Pheebs,guess who we saw today? -Oh,fun! Okay. -菲比,猜我们今天遇见谁? -哦,好玩的事情!好的-Liam Neeson. -No. -连恩尼逊-不是-Morley Safer. -No. -茉莉.塞弗-不是-The lady who cuts my hair! -This could be a very long game. -剪我头发的女人! -这会是一个很长的游戏-Your sister,Ursula. -Oh,really? -你姐姐,乌苏拉-哦,真的?-She works at that place.... -Riff's. I know. -她在那儿工作…-瑞菲餐厅,我知道You do? She said you guys haven't talked in years. 你知道?因为她说你们已多年不说话So,is she fat? 对,她胖吗?Not from where I was standing. 从我的角度看不会Where were you standing? 你从什么角度?Pheebs,so you guys just don't get along? 菲比,你们合不来?It's mostly just dumb sister stuff. 这只是姐妹之间的事Everyone always thought of her as the pretty one. 大家都认为她漂亮She was the first to walk even though I did it later that same day. 她先学会走路虽然我是在当天稍后学会的But to my parents,by then it was, "Yeah,what else is new?" 对我爸妈而言那,就已经不新鲜了I'm sorry. I've gotta go. I've got Lamaze class. 菲比,抱歉,我得走了我得去参加心理助产班And I've got earth science, but I'll catch you in gym? 我得去参加地球科学班健身房见了-ls this just gonna be you and Carol? -Susan will be there too. -就你和卡萝两人去? -不,苏珊也要去We've got dads,we've got lesbians. The whole parenting team. 那有爸爸,女同志…全部的父母都会到-lsn't that gonna be weird? -lt might have been at first... -这样不是会很奇怪? -不会的,一开始或许会... but now I'm comfortable with it. 现在我已坦然面对-Ross,that's my jacket. -I know. -罗斯,那是我的外套-我知道Hi. We're the Rostens. I'm J. C. and he's Michael. 我们姓罗,我是洁西他叫麦可And we're having a boy and a girl. 我们有一个男孩和一个女孩Good for you. All right,next? 厉害,下一位I'm Ross Geller. And that's my boy in there. 我叫罗斯,我儿子在那儿And this is Carol Willick. And this is Susan Bunch. 她叫卡罗,这位是苏珊Susan is Carol's.... 苏珊是卡罗的…Who's next? 下一位是谁?Sorry,Susan is...? 抱歉,苏珊是…-Carol's friend. -Life partner. -苏珊是卡萝的朋友-生活拍档Like buddies. 就像伙伴-Like lovers. -You know how close women can get. -好像恋人-你知道女人能有多亲近的-We live together. -I was married to her. -我们俩住在一起-我俩曾经结过婚-Carol,not me. -It's a bit complicated. -卡萝,不是我-有点复杂了-But we're fine. -Absolutely! -但是我们不错-绝对的!So,twins! That's like two births. 双胞胎,好像要生两次Ouch! 噢!to you too,Helen. 彼此,海伦-Nina Bookbinder is here to see you. -Okay,send her in. -妮娜.布克宾德来找你-好的,让她进来-Come on in. -You wanted to see me? -妮娜,快进来-你想见我?I was reviewing your data. You've been postdating your Friday numbers. 我刚看过你的资料你一直填迟你周五数字的日期-Which is bad,because...? -lt throws my WENUS out of whack. -这样很不好,因为…-这样使我的WEENUS出现问题-Excuse me? -WENUS. -对不起? -WEENUS…Weekly Estimated Net Usage Statistics. “Weekly Estimated Net Usage Statistics”每周估计净值使用统计Gotcha! 对Won't happen again. I wouldn't want to do anything to hurt your WENUS. 不会再发生了我不会做任何事伤害你的…维纳斯(WEENUS)I'll take "ldiots in the Workplace" for 200,Alex. 要我就在“工厂里的白痴”上押200,亚里克斯It's not just that she's cute,okay? It's just that... 这不是她漂不漂亮的问题,这是…...she's really,really cute. 她真的很漂亮It doesn't matter. You don't dip your pen in the company ink. 都一样,兔子不吃窝边草God,I even know that and I'm pretty much unemployable. 上帝,我知道我几乎不应该被雇用Ross,your little creature's got the remote again. 罗斯你的小动物又在玩遥控器Marcel,give Rossy the remote. 马修,把遥控器给罗斯Marcel! 马修!Marcel,you give Rossy the remote right now! 马修,现在马上把遥控器给罗斯You give Rossy the remote 把遥控器给罗斯-Great. -Relax. I'll fix it. -这下好了-放心.我会修好的Oh,cool! Urkel in Spanish is Urkel. 酷在西班牙文中叫“乌酷”How did he do this? 他是怎么办到的?Is leaving Christmas lights up your plan to keep us merry all year long? 你让圣诞灯开是想让我们“快乐”一整年?No,someone was supposed to take them down but obviously someone forgot. 不,某人在新年期间就应该把它拿下她显然是忘了Someone was supposed to write, "Rach,take down the lights"... 某人应该写个字条“瑞秋,拿下圣诞灯”...and put it on the refrigera 然后贴在冰…-How long has that been there? -A really long time. -在这儿多久了? -时间可不短了-Where you been? -Riff's. -你上哪儿去了? -瑞佛餐厅I think Ursula likes me. I ordered coffee. 我想乌苏拉喜欢我我只点咖啡She brought me a tuna melt and four plates of curly fries. 她却端给我鲔鱼和四盘的薯片Score. 有门了She is so hot! 她好带劲儿Before you do anything Joey-like, you might want to run it by.... 你展开“乔依”行动之前, 或许你可以找…-Pheebs? -Yeah. -菲比? -当然Is it okay if I asked out your sister? 菲比,我约你姐出去你会介意吗?Why? Why would you want to do that? Why? 为什么?你为何要那样做?为什么?So if we went out on a date, she'd be there. 因为如果我去约会时,她就会在我身边Well,I'm not my sister's, you know,whatever. 好吧,不管怎样,我不是她And I mean,it's true, we were one egg once. 没错,我们确实曾待在同一颗卵子But you know, we've grown apart so.... 但我们各自发育I don't know. Why not? 我不知道…有何不可?Cool. Thanks. 酷.谢啦-You okay? -Yeah,I'm fine. -你还好吧? -还好Do you wanna watch Laverne y Shirley? 你还要继续看?Sorry. 抱歉Hi. Sorry I'm late. Where's Carol? 抱歉,我迟到了.卡萝在哪儿?Stuck at school. Some parent-teacher thing. 学校有事,老师和家长间的事You can go. I'll get the information. 你可以走了,我留下来上课No,I think I should stay. We should both know what's going on. 不…我应该留下来我们两个都该留下来上课Oh,good. This will be fun. 很好,一定会很有意思的We're gonna start with some basic third-stage breathing exercises. 首先是第三阶段基本呼吸练习Moms,get on your back. 各位妈妈请躺下And coaches,you should be supporting Mommy's head. 教练们支撑妈妈们的头-What? -What? -什么? -什么?-I'm supposed to be the mommy? -I'll play my sperm card once more. -我该当妈? -好吧,我再打一次精子牌I have to miss the coaching training because I'm a woman? 只因我是个女人我就得错过教练训练-So,what do we do? -I'll flip you for it. -了解,你说该怎么办? -掷铜板Flip me for it? No,no. Heads! 掷铜板?不…我选头…On your back,Mom! 躺下吧,妈All right,mommies,take a nice deep,cleansing breath. 各位妈妈们,请深呼吸Good. 很好Now imagine your vagina is opening like a flower. 很好,现在请想像你的阴道像花一样绽放着-Mr. D! How's it going,sir? -It's been better. -迪先生,如何? -好多了The Annual Net Usage Statistics are in. 年度净值已经算出来了-And? -It's pretty ugly. -然后呢? -奇惨无此We haven't seen an ANUS this bad since the '70s. 70年代之后没见过这么惨的ANUS-What does this mean? -We'll be laying off people. -这代表什么? -每个部门都得裁员I know I was late last week. But I slept funny and 我知道虽然我上星期迟到, 我那天睡姿不良把头发睡塌?Not you. Relax. 不是你,放松Ever have to fire anyone? 曾经必须开除某人吗?No,but that's not a problem. That's why my name's on the door. 没有,不过那不成问题. 这就是我的名字在门上的原因啊Do you know when I'm getting my name on the door? 你知道我什么时候,能在门上有自己的名字吗?I don't know. I put it in the thing. 我不清楚.我会记下来的It's okay. So,who is it gonna be? 不说这些.那将会是谁呢?Nina! 妮娜!Nina. 妮娜Nina. 妮娜Are you okay? 你没事吧?Yes. Yes,I am. 是的,我没事Listen,the reason that I called you in here today was.... 听着,我今天叫你进来…是因为Please don't hate me. 请别恨我What? 怎么了?Would you like to have dinner sometime? 能约你共进晚餐吗?So,what do you want for your birthday? 菲比,你想要什么生日礼物?What I want is for my mom to be alive and enjoy it with me. 我想要我妈复活和我共享人生Okay. Let me put it this way. Anything from Crabtree & Evelyn? 好吧.这样吧.想不想要“艾芙琳”的产品?-Bath salts would be nice! -Okay! Good. -我想要浴盐! -好的!What is this place? 这是什么地方?You're cold,I have to pee and there's coffee. How bad could it be? 你很冷,我想尿尿, 窗户上有个咖啡杯还有比这更糟的吗?I think we have an answer. 我想我们有答案了Why is she here? 她怎么会在这儿?This could be God's way of telling us to eat at home. 也许这就是老天爷叫我们回家吃饭的方法-Think Riff's fired her? -No,we were there last night. -她被瑞佛餐厅开除? -不,昨晚我们还在那儿吃饭,她不断端来剑鱼Are you gonna go to the...? 你不是要去…?-I'll wait till we order. It's her. -lt looks like her. -不,点完之后再去-是她吧?看起来像她-Excuse me? -Yeah. -抱歉? -是Hi,it's us! 是我们Right. And it's me! 好呀,是我-So you're here too? -As much as you are. -你也在这儿? -和你们一样Your turn. 该你了-We know what we want. -That's good. -我们知道我们要什么-很好-Two caffe lattes. -And some biscotti. 我们要两杯拿铁还有小饼乾Good choice. 不错的选择-It's definitely her. -Yeah. -绝对是她-绝对是她I can't believe you haven't told that girl she doesn't have a job. 我真不敢相信, 你还没告诉她她失业了?You haven't taken down the Christmas lights. 你还没把圣诞灯拿下来Congratulations! You've found the world's thinnest argument. 恭喜!你发现了世上最薄弱的论点I'm finding the right moment. 我只是在寻找适当的时机That shouldn't be so hard now that you're dating. 应该不会太难找到因为你们已开始约会"Honey,you're fired. But how about a quickie before I go to work?" 亲爱的,你被开除了我上班前何不来个“速战速决”Once you're inside, you don't have to knock anymore. 进门后就不用再敲门了I'll get it. 我来开-Hi,Mr. Heckles. -You're doing it again. -哈克先生-你们又来了We're not doing anything. We're sitting and talking quietly. 我们什么都没做. 我们只是坐在这儿静静地聊天I can hear you through the ceiling. 我可以透过天花板听见My cats can't sleep. 我的猫睡不着-You don't even have cats. -I could have cats. -你根本没养猫-我原本有机会养-Goodbye,Mr. Heckles. -We'll try to keep it down. -再见了,哈先生-我们会很小声的Phoebe,do me a favor. Try this on. I want to make sure it fits. 菲比,帮个忙,能试穿看看吗? 我想知道合不合身?My first birthday present! This is really 我的第一件生日礼物,这衣服真…No,no,it's for Ursula. I just figured size-wise.... 不,是送乌苏拉的,我只是想知道尺寸Sure. Yeah. Okay,it fits. 好呀,合身-Are you seeing her again? -Yep,lce Capades. -你今晚又和她约会? -对,去看花样滑冰This is serious. I've never known you to pay for any kind of "capade." 这回你是来真的没想到你会为任何花式玩意儿付钱I don't know. I like her. 我也不知道,我喜欢她She's different. There's something about her 她与众不同,她有…That you like. We get it. You like her. Great! 你喜欢?我们懂你喜欢她,太好了Phoebe,I asked you. You said it was okay. 菲比,我问过你而你也同意了Maybe now it's not okay. 也许现在不同意了Okay. Maybe now I'm not okay with it not being okay. 也许我对于你的不同意也不同意了Okay! 好吧!IKnit,good woman,knit! 快织,好女人And that's the Chrysler Building right there. 克莱斯勒大楼就在那儿-Nina! -Mr. Douglas. Cool tie. -妮娜! -道格拉斯先生.领带不错She's still here. 她还在这里?Yes. Yes,she is. Didn't I memo you on this? 没错,她还在.我没有给你这个备忘录吗?After I let her go,I got a call from her psychiatrist,Dr. Flennan 我开除她后,接到她心理医生的电话Dr. Flennan Dr. Flynn. 佛…佛林大夫And he informed me that she took the news rather badly. 他说她一时无法适应In fact,he mentioned the word "frenzy." 老实说他提到“狂暴”这两个字-You're kidding! She seems so -No. Nina? She's -她?开什么玩笑?她…-不,妮娜?她…If you asked her now... 如果你现在问她...she'd have no recollection of being fired at all. 她根本记不得被开除这件事-That's unbelievable. -And yet believable. -难以置信-你不得不信So I decided not to fire her again until she'll be no threat to anyone. 因此我决定暂时不再开除她直到我确定她对自己或其他人不构成威胁为止I guess you never know what's going on inside a person's head. 人的心中在想什么别人永远无法完全了解Well,I guess that's why they call it psychology,sir. 我想这就是为什么被成为“心理学”了The sound Mom and Dad will never forget. 爸妈永远忘不了这声音For this,after all, is the miracle of birth. 这个,毕竟是生产的奇迹Lights,please. And that's having a baby. 请开灯,这一集是生宝宝Next week is our final class. 下周是我们的最后一堂课Susan,go deep. 苏珊,准备接球-It's just impossible. -What is,honey? -这太离谱了…-怎么了?What that woman did. 那个女人干了什么I am not doing that. It'll just have to stay in. 我不会这么做的.他得留在我体内Everything will be the same. It'll just stay in. 一切和原来一样,他得留在我体内-Carol,honey,it'll be all right. -What do you know? -卡萝,亲爱的,不会有事的-你怎么知道? No one's asking you,"Mind if we push this pot roast through your nostril?" 你怎么知道?没人问你,我能将这肉块穿你的鼻孔吗?Carol,sweetie. Cleansing breath. 卡萝,亲爱的,深呼吸I know it's frightening. But big picture: 我知道你很惶恐,往远处想The birth part is just one day. 生产过程只是一天When it's over,we'll all be parents for the rest of our lives. 结束后我们这辈子都是他的父母了I mean,that's what this is all about,right? Ross? 怀胎生子为的不就是这些吗?罗斯?Ross? 罗斯?I'm gonna be a father. 我要当爸爸了-This is news to you? -I knew I was having a baby. -你才刚知道? -我一直都知道我有个孩子I just never realized the baby was having me. 只是不知道孩子有我-You'll be great. -How can you say that? -你会是个好爸爸的-你怎会知道?I can't even get Marcel to stop eating the bathmat. 我连阻止马修吃浴室垫都办不到-How will I raise a kid? -Some scientists are now saying... -我如何养儿育女? -罗斯,科学家说...that monkeys and babies are actually different. 孩子和猴子是不一样的You might want to look into it. 我们可以验证一下-Where you going? -Out. -你去哪里? -外面With...? 和谁?Yes. 是的Can I just ask you one question? 能问你一个问题吗?Have you two,you know, like,you know? 你们有没有,你明白的,就像,你知道的嘛?You know,yet? 你知道的,对吧?Not that it's any of your business, but no,we haven't. 不关你的事,没有,行了吗?You meant sex,right? 你是指性吧?-Do you have a sec? -Sure. What's up? -有空吗? -当然,什么事?The past few days,people have been avoiding me and giving me weird looks. 最近几天,大家都避开我而且以奇怪的眼神看我Well,maybe that's because they're jealous of us. 或许他们在嫉妒我们Maybe. But that doesn't explain why they keep taking my scissors. 或许吧,这无法解释他们为何拿走我的剪刀Maybe that's because you're getting a big raise! 或许是因为你被升职的缘故-I am? -Sure. Why not? -我升职了? -当然.为什么不呢?Oh,my God! You're amazing! 天啊,你真是太了不起了You don't know. 你不知道Helen,do the paperwork on Miss Bookbinder's raise. 海伦,能快处理布小姐升职的手续吗? You still want me to send her psychological profile to Personnel? 你仍要我拿她的心理分析结果到人事部?Helen drinks. 海伦喝醉了Will you marry me? 你愿意嫁给我吗?So after the proposal, I kind of unraveled. 升职后的事情,我就未经修剪了Right. Because you were really in control up until then. 是啊.因为你控制全盘直到那个时候-I told her everything. -How'd she take it? -最后我把一切都告诉她了-她的反应如何? Pretty well. Except for the stapler thing. 坦然接受,除了拿钉书机钉我之外A tip. If you're ever in a similar situation... 提示.以后遇见类似的状况... never,ever leave your hand on the desk. 切记别把手放在桌上Okay,I think I get how to do this. 我知道该怎么调成这样了啊Can we turn it off? Make them go away because I can't watch. 我们能把这关掉吗? 把他们弄走,因为我没法看了啊Okay,they're gone. 好了,现在没有了Are you all right? 你还好吧?It's just this whole stupid Ursula thing. 还不是乌苏拉惹的祸Pheebs,can I ask? So he's going out with her. Is it really so terrible? 菲比,我能问…他和她约会真有那么糟吗?Yeah. 是的I'm not saying she's evil or anything. 我不是说她是很坏She's just always breaking my stuff. 她总是弄坏我的东西When I was 8,she threw my Judy Jetson Thermos under the bus. 我8岁时,她把我得朱迪杰特森热水壶丢到公车下And then when I was 1 2, she broke my collarbone. 我12岁的时候,她弄断了我的锁骨She didn't mean to do it but I think it still counts. 她不是有意的,不过也算And then there's Randy Brown, who was like 然后,有个蓝迪布朗,就像Have you ever had a boyfriend who was your best friend? 你们有没有过男友身兼好友的情况? That's what he was for me. 我当时的状况就是如此And she kind of stole him away and then broke his heart. 她把他抢走又伤了他的心Then he wouldn't talk to me anymore. 他从此不和我说话He didn't want to be around anything that looked like either one of us. 因为他说他不愿再见像她的人I know Joey's not my boyfriend or my thermos... 我知道乔伊不是我男朋友或者热水壶...or anything,but 或其他的什么,但是-You won't lose him. -You gotta talk to Joey. -你不会失去他的-你得找乔伊谈-lf he knew how you felt -But he's falling in love with her. -如果他知道你的感受-但他爱上她了They've been going out a week. 拜托,他们才约会一个星期They haven't even slept together yet. That's not serious. 根本还没上床八字都还没一撇呢Okay. Okay. 好吧.好吧May we help you? 需要帮忙吗?What are you doing? It's freezing! Come inside. 瑞秋,你在干什么?外面好冷,进来好吗?No,you wanted me to take them down... 不…你要我把灯取下...so I'm taking them down,okay? 我正在做,行吗?Rachel! 天啊,瑞秋!I'm okay. I'm okay. 我没事…Mr. Heckles? 哈克先生…Mr. Heckles,could you help me,please? 哈克先生…能帮一下忙吗?This is just the kind of thing I was talking about. 我指的就是这种事儿My friend was taking down Christmas lights... 我朋友取下圣诞灯时...and may have broken her ankle. 从阳台跌下来,可能伤了脚踝My God,you still have your Christmas lights up? 你们的圣诞灯还亮着?-Fill this out and bring it back. -Here you go. -填好资料后拿给我-给你All right. Name,address. 姓名?地址-Are you currently on any medication? -No. -你现在进行任何药物治疗? -没有Oh,wait! Yes. Blistex. 哦,等等!有.Blistex（一种药用润唇膏）-No. In case of emergency,call...? -You. -填没有，紧急联络电话? -你。